Thursday, July 20, 2006

An Upcoming Book , Possibly !

2000 to 2002

1—Standing in the driveway of their home one evening in August.
The Model of The Sleigh and The Reindeer Rides along a ridge, it must have been propelled by being drawn towards a magnet. There is one small amount of houses that it passes so it will probably come to them on its way back and then there are more and it ends up landing on one of their roofs. The letters where it should say Welcome Are Completely Wrong and they say something that I could not decipher. Of course it is all about what she felt not that I mattered or cared at all so I should say then why am I being screamed at and I have to back over error and error, Please stop asking me about it… there is no more that I can say as if it is anybodys business other than my own but now it has been made into everyones—all of the people that know her I am sure that they probably know that Small silver angels made from metal Play Tiny horns as they march around. “It’s A Clock” No There’s The Coach It involves technology Why am I not bust at all and I am going to have a great time letting myself be unhappy start listening Closely To Me Now And Realize at this point that everything I have been saying to you is true. A Man in a White Suit is supposed to be jack frost and he carries A Wand with a Star at the end he comes up to greet The Man in The Red Suit On Wall of Snow, All’s well in The World Now That Morning is Around. A Tire Is stuck in the Chimney From Last night and It’s wedged really tight There’s probably no way to get it out of there and one wonders how it ever got stuck in there in the first place. Sara Weller Put on Warm Blue Tights And Boots With White Lace Around Their Tops She Also Put On A red Coat Before She Stepped outside And Walked To Her Car And Then she got inside and pulled out of the driveway and she started down the street….some people ran out in front of her they were small children and she wasn’t able to see them so well So she had to slam hard on the breaks and she didn’t hit them She Missed them Just barely There was a Picture She Saw last night of a Girl in The Bathtub With her back turned to the camera she had shoulder-length Brown hair and there was Soap On Her Back, Sara Could at least see that much in the picture What She Couldn’t Understand Was why it was Placed on her Dresser And She Could never have Conceived of who would have put it there—the bathroom in the picture didn’t look familiar either—it was red totally and there were yellow curtains to the wall behind that bathtub And The bathtub itself was Blue—the Girls Shoulder Blades Looked Like Fan Blades Sara Thought ‘cause They Cut her There when she found the picture on the dresser—she had to stop a few places this morning before she left town, she was driving very far To Another City Any other Place than here But Still There Was Something about leaving that unnerved her in a Sense She Didn’t want to go she really didn’t and she hadn’t planned on it at all last night anyways—but after she found the picture of the girl in the tub—on her dresser She Thought that maybe she’d better leave her house, It is my own house painted a different Color and My Bed is simply moved to a different Side of The Room and My Dresser is gone and is Replaced By Sara’s….. Sara Weller, you Live in my house now I want to know if you like the floors and if the walls take swings at the backs of your legs Or if Possibly You’ve Got a Toy Frankenstein? Maybe You Found The Boots of Dolls That I left in the vents They’re there with the toy cars and Clumps Of Thick Messy Dust. As I said I wonder if you Like my Bathroom The One where I always took baths with my head in a Curtain and my Shoulders Protruded Like Whips That Lashed Apes That Were Jerking Off. Sara Made So many more stops than she thought that she was going to but finally she was out of town and she was on the road that goes Out But here’s The Thing You Gotta Understand That There’s A lot of Roads That Lead out of Here So this all depends on the one that She Took And That’s The One that’s going to Lead her Somewhere Different…. Clumps of Elephant Crap And Boingy Rotted Potholes And creamy Floats On top Of Glasses When she and he drank From The same One simultaneously And They Drank From Two Different Straws, I Am Not Going To Take It So Slow… Near Where The Wood Post Mark The Entrance by The Trees that Open and where the earth has been turned over They May Be up there The Kids Have Told Me things But I have never had the Charisma to Go and Look for myself you See I can’t Get my Lazy Ass From The Porch to the yard and see if I did I would have to get it to the overturned earth and then I would have to get it to where the Wood posts are If I went in there And I found them, I would still have To get back here And From The yard back to The Porch And I Would Have To Sit My Ass Down. Sara Pulls The Car Aside the Cobblestones And She Steps Out By The Stinking Puddles Of Mud and She Walks A path that Someone Cut It Only Leads to a field and Then it Leads Through there And Goes up Steeply and She Sees Where The trees Part And she Decides to Enter There And Maybe She’ll Hold Her own Hand And Run Her Car keys along The Edges of Her Fingernails…. Keep on Believing that they’re Behind The Trees…. Go And Move And Find them There Now She Walks Up More Steep Mud but Then The earth Drops And Smells Like Shit Too… And She Walks Through the Clumpy Mud in Her boots with their White Lace.. There Is A Sign That Shows A Hog With An Apple in its mouth But The Hog is Eating it and Sara Selfishly Hoped that it Would Have Been Cooked And That its Corpse Would Be suckling it But she tried That earlier And to No Avail….. So she kept walking through The Shit And Then She Came To The Generic Cliffs See They Were Not Really Cliffs Just Barely Edges That Ignorant People Had Labeled As Cliffs When The Scuffed On Them And Then Burst. I Can’t Understand Why She Shot Through The Sky So Fast But As Far as her safety is Concerned, Sara Weller Landed On Both Feet But it was a lot later maybe it was a few days Or Something. What Was Clear was that She Ascended it Seemed No She was Carried Upward When She Stood On Those Cliffs That To me were barely Edges.
“Tingby Filbert, Bring That Ape Rightnow”
“Bring em around the side a tha house, up on-ta tha porch”
He Slipped The Red collar Around The Chimpanzee’s Neck and Fastened The End Of The Leash To The Bolt on The Collar And He Pulled “C’mon Herschel” Commanded Tingby He Led The Chimp To Around The Corner Through The scattered Trash In Yard up Onto The porch—Where Armenia And Colossus Were Sitting “That’s A Goodboy, Doing As You Were Told And In The Best Possible Time” Said Colossus—He Ran his Hand Through Tingby’s Hair He Planted A Kiss on his Lips. “Git Back Out Back And Git Tha rest of em” Said Armenia. Tingby Placed Herschel’s Leash in Armenia’s hands And Hurried off the Porch—Back Around The House.
“After we sell this one here We’ll Have Enough Money To Fix Tha Stove.” Said Armenia—Colossus Nodded His Head And he Helped her Get The Chimp into A Cage And Fasten it in—“Sit Tight Herschel” Said Colossus—“They Should be here to Collect him in No Time At All.”
Now Then Gilla Virtual Had her Hair done at a place called the sand bar and She Had A Big Fat Creamy Splotch of Ice Cream afterwards and that’s when the parade was coming through the town this –You See— Was So Good that nothing defines the feel of holidays better in the town where she lives –She Thinks—Maybe it’s the Same Town that Sara Weller Left it is certainly The town Where boys Cry in the summer near cars after they’ve had their heads shaved so clean—but that’s certain and She Can Not Be certain if this is the Town That Sara Weller Left But they are in the same space or they may have been Gilla Knew that somewhere their paths had crossed and it’s not so hard to need to make new friends when You have not got any old ones left—You Have not got any at all? No I have None! Thought Gilla How couldn’t I have anyone They’ve all wondered onward while I’ve fastened myself here—she dropped all of those thoughts as endless Christmas Colors Floated By… How Beautiful Thought Gilla.. She Ate her Ice Cream and She Held The Locks Of Her Long Blonde Hair in her Hands and She Was So Happy that it had just Been Dyed That color….a color which it had not ever been before. There: where people stay on hills before they slope so much that the earth underneath them is gone and it’s lowered down and that makes room for new earth she used to hope When she was a little younger but it is so different when you know what your life is now and see what it was in relation to Then; I hope that will be all right Though I don’t know how you can even ask that Since if you know me at all then you know that around here—nothing has been all right in So Long A Time—I cannot believe that they told you all of this and then they made themselves seem so ugly. No, that Will Not Be All right. “There is nothing Now, and he she knows it she knows that for what the value of existence is worth is that The Fact Of Existing is that Our Humanity is Denied… She Should have seen it everywhere she looked but there were not eyes looking back, Generically when the world was called upon as being lonely and then everyday her life was layed on the line—she was bored as well with everything every part of life So Why Does It Surprise us as much as it calls us Now And My Hands Wouldn’t Work anymore and I remember that I could not lift her up To what or to where I would like to know Fuck ! Fuck ! I can bear no more of this Life… But my own life I will lay bare.” Sara’s Skin Appeared on Those Edges Without her Body it was flung therein The Tallest Weeds And Snakes Made It Their Home—Flowers Sprang Up Around—without A Body Could She See Any reason to Worry About Life Now? Her Soul did not split, It stayed as one whole Thing And There Was A reason to Worry still about Having Snakes Crawling In Her Skin Her Clothes Will be thrown Down into A Stream And if it is moving fast then they will be carried along and then she’ll not notice them when they get torn on rocks and this will occur during the night time since that is the best time for them to go away, Go Away Everybody Just Go Away—Sara Weller Looks Behind Herself And Has A Rock Placed On each Shoulder The Force Of Which Brings Her Down. Maybe We’re In A Small Theater And There Are Yellow Lights And Blue Ones And I am Trying to See The Stage And I stare over Peoples Heads But they’re Still impairing my view a considerable Amount. The stage has Blue And White Stripes Painted on it And Then Two Figures Emerge Men Covered With Feathers And They’ve Got Long Knifes Attached To their Arms—They Have Featureless Masks Upon their Faces, a horn Sounds and then they Begin to Fight—The Blades Clash Together The Sound Causes me to Clench My Teeth Together—and Then There’s Blood All over The feathers I don’t think that I actually Saw The Blade Go Inside The One Man But I Saw Him Fall Forward And His Insides Pour all over The stage—What Is Victory ? What is Victory? Some way I believe that it is Just A Really Stupid Idea No One is Aware Of His Work He Keeps Creating These Things And Then Still Nobody Looks Though that doesn’t disinterest him the least he just simply tells himself that next time will be the better of the two and then he’ll become a success Even Then The Person That You’re With Considers Him Too They Don’t particularly Care As Long As He’s Fucking Pleasing Himself. The Stage of Self-Love Where The Bodies are Dragged Away And Then No Emphasis Is Placed On How Far You Ejaculate… He Remembers That He Came The Other Day And it Shot Farther Than He Could Have Thrown A Glass Across The Room But When Things Shatter He Swallows His Tongue Left There With Cloudy Warm Spots On his belly, laying on His back, having just played with his Dick. Maybe We’re in a car And there is not a lot of room and we are elbow to elbow with one Another and I can’t believe How Loud That Someone Is Screaming into My Ear and I am not trying to listen but I can’t Avoid What They Are Saying—Her Eyes Are Flickering I thought At First But That’s Just Lines Through Them And I hear The Sound of Grunting as if someone Were Taking a shit—but It Smells Like Sand in The Room and Faintly like Urine Too And I am Sorry that I peered in the Room. Colossus Takes More Cages from off of the porch and he places them in the front yard of the house And Soon People Are Coming Up The Road In their Truck—To Get The Animals and Put Them In The Back, Colossus Will Not be paid ‘til afterwards Maybe He won’t Get Paid At All—they’re hard to Lift up into the back of the Truck—the cages, that is. I scratch a blemish that’s on the bridge of my nose –they push a tape recorder up to my face and they ask me if I would have any idea of how to be kind to someone—I don’t know how to answer that, my eyes are closing but not by choice.
Fin Of One

2. In Which Debbie Fuller Becomes A Hypochondriac
God, Why Have you abandoned me? She Wondered—Does Life Mean This? Yes it seems as if it does—what does it mean to be tossed out—and left—it is like No-one wants her at all—you Know that is What She Thinks—there’s the feeling of my stomach swelling and then Wrapping in Knots—because I do Truly Sense that My life is About to Crumble—again I am sure that I will fail—and I know the fact that I exist is Proof itself that my humanity is Denied—Fuck This Life! There is Nobody to depend on—not a thing worth believing—in and nothing to look forward to—you’ve left me Here and I remain with This Place—the homes on her street—are yellow there’s white paint on the shutters and the automobiles—are permanently Stuck in The Driveways—they will Never Be Driven From There—if they were then where would they be taken to—It is Quite Clear that there is nowhere for them—Debbie Fuller—Sits There Crunched as if a witch has just put a hex on her—her lips have swelled—she’s so upset and her pupils have gotten rather large—the proof that she was abandoned is all the more proof that her humanity was Denied—just like everybody-else’s—You’re all led by the hand to a space which you’ve got to fill—as being its sole occupant—and You waste Your time there—as you feel compellingly Lonely—“Are You One Of Them Too?” She Was Never Asked—if she places herself in some certain situation all she’ll be stuck with is a System that Has Set-up—Certain Boundaries—Which Accord To A False Sense of Normality—they present a way of being that shall Not Be—Because it hasn’t ever been—and what does one do as it tries to construct them as this kind of person—who functions Clearly as a being that’s been thoroughly Disciplined—And is done doing their own Thinking—Here, The self has been annihilated—she does not hear back from anyone ‘til Six In The Morning—and it was said that she was sitting by herself Feeling Rather Sad About Something—this is the reason that she feels like nobody wants to stick around with Her Because she’s so sad most of the time but then anyways—does that really mean much—you see now she thinks that she didn’t make herself—like this it’s these forces which—are outside Of her Though they’ve become a Major Part of her—it seems to be that they’ve caused her sorrow—please send me away so That Somewhere I can Make sure That All of This Ends—since there is never a refreshing aspect to it—send yourself out but At the same time set yourself up. Though it never used to be that way—there’s a room where everything merges to form something which emphasizes the Values Which you’ve tried to form your life around—now you see that it is obvious that you can’t make the things that you love give you the same love in return—for so much of this no compensation is given—how much longer do I have to go on with my life like this—wondered Debbie—and she knew that she might have to go on for much longer than she thought—there’s crying being done in this cottage—where one of them slept under a heavy blanket—because it was so cold—They Lost the deer—because soon it was back outside—and it hadn’t really ever been Tamed—we yelled our heads off when we ran out in the cold—to search for it—I don’t know what to make of her standing there—and seeing directly through me—I feel ashamed though it has been done for very little—do you have any idea how much of me went into this—should I be done with all of myself—she was correct in being angry when it was presented like being that which she valued—was not significant—and she said that so far there was nothing that she needed to do on that day—so she was able to play dead—till people Arrived and she would have to Do Things. She’d have to say so many things back to them—it felt so hard to time her responses—perfectly but why did she not see how much that she’d altered her decisions—in several hours somebody is going to ring you Up And Yell something very loud in your Ear—it will not be horrible it will just be mighty—they’ll try to make you think that you do not really care about your friends—that you’ve placed them in your life so that you can fill that vast space around you so that you can somehow flush some of the emptiness out Right then you know that people are your only shot—they’re your only chance to ever be happy—hurry up and find as many of them as you can and gather them all to one place in your life probably the one which is the most empty—and vast and if you’ve got them there then for a while even if what they say to you is meaningless then at least something is being said—at least some sound is escaping—into a hollow realm—where you live your life and you filled it up with people because otherwise—it was uninhabitable if people can’t get along with you then the other hope—that’s possible is to include as many objects in that vast space—quickly fill it up but what is the point of doing any of this if you already see what’s said—it tells you more and more that you can’t cope with anything and most of all you really cannot stand yourself—so you must be prepared to induce self—annihilation—as soon as the people that you filled up the space with don’t want to be there anymore—after that’s happened then all that you’ve got is your old poor self and that is not going to do you any good—well it certainly has not done you any good yet—fuck, fuck, you must somehow get this over with—unless of course there is a way to disintegrate and just be a group of particles which Cling onto things, Particularly other girls Lips—No, I don’t want to come back anymore because I Cannot.
Fin Of Two

3. Dance With Me And Tell Me Why.
Sara Bella Wigby Rubs Her Vulva On the arms of Sofas—but the dawn will be different—and she wants to do dangerous things to the boys—something Has Triggered an accident—one man stands outside the fence and he brings Candy to kids, but do you know What For?—these pictures show you how to make the right incision they show you how to cut the correct way—but he is not in the least impressed with the woman who wears a Black Hat And Some Blue Diamonds and the type of coat you’re supposed to wear during a Case Of Illness—when do the men bathe with all of the little boys they do it before we become men—they run their pricks over the seams of our Lips—before they put them in our mouths—but these men who clash their cocks Too—their masculinity was Stressed So Much that is how they became like this. “I Love her, I do.” Then they’ll Laugh Together their bodies are falling in layers—mounds of raw skin over his ass and there are considerable lacerations which were made around his genitals It hurts To Even hold them—in his hand, anymore Though He Rubs them to see if he can find any remaining feeling As Long As I Can Remember he was In-To Someone’s Life But Not Because his own was boring To Him But Rather That He Was Fascinated By Everyone-else’s When he Would Compare Them To his own—maybe he wondered how they finished their day—Probably By Masturbating. There Is In His Head A Zone In The Way That He Enters Though He Follows Through With Something Drastically Different From That Which He Began With. “Christ, for a minute it was like he did not care and he was sure that his life was worthless and he didn’t want to do it. That’s why there is A Phone On The Floor That he drags Across by Tugging the Cord Ten Inches Each Time For One Hundred And Twenty Days. It Has Got to make sense to people, Not Just Himself. Do You Love Her?” He is not going to come for the fact that he does not want to and cannot—he approached a level Inaccessibility unheard of even where love is concerned, what a way to end a marriage—At A Cinema but I Am thinking About You Since I did not see you this time—is it bad to hate the thing that you need and then They All Huddled in the corner While The perspiration from Their Bellybuttons filled up the bowl—which they Centered around Their Stomachs—and then, They Placed A Fish Inside Of The Bowl And Watched As It Rushed All Along The Sides—don’t you think that you’ve always known me but were you planning on marrying your Twin—The boys At The tower have their backs scrubbed the best and I love Putting my Fingers In his Ass Since I am Pretty Certain Of How Wide The Hole Can Open Up—you sit on a swing which hasn’t got a whole Bottom—I mean an opening has been Cut Out So I Can Reach In. I made my fingernails Perfect—and I coated my Hand with Honey—and I started to slowly put my fingers in—and I asked you to work with me so that I can fit my whole hand in your ass eventually—soon, soon—No! Sara Wake-up there is Dirt around her lips and her face was Bit By Bugs—her clothes, scattered over the nearby rocks—and she lost her keys Too. So there was not a Chance That Sara Weller Could Escape in her Car—She Wondered, Naked, Back to The Road—she Stumbled Along The Side Of it—The First Car Stopped—Colossus Could See that she was in Trouble so he soothed her Into The passenger Side of His Truck—While in the back the apes rattled in their cages, Upset And Wanting Loose. I Never Want To See You Again Fuck I Think I spoke too Soon—maybe he deserves the right To Know what his life Means—but it doesn’t matter to him that he knows less than everybody-else since he likes wandering through life blindly He feels like Sara Weller when she limped Along The Road—well I want to See just how good you Are!
You have not run out of luck yet—she said then she left from the Red House and through the fine panels of Wood—which make-up the door—down, she walked where you can see a detail of the islands, the houses are like plates, there are cups and there are saucers to set them on as well, there are five separate islands and the grass is in a different color on each of them one rod protruding straight up—a cage hangs on the pole that is balanced on the top of it, some way there is so much entrapped by its bars, Debbie Fuller walks down the cement carpet that is tossed over the mounds of dirt there is not skin on the end but this does not increase the impotence there are feathers on the head where the skin was removed and pin holes were slit there too despite the opening on the cock-head the urethra, where the semen and urine Come Out Of, there are these very small holes and bits of blood are sprinkling out if someone pushes on it with force when it’s flung a lot of blood is sprayed in gusts under a hot light and against a black background and there are obvious ways Put One hand under it and use your other hand to squish the shaft and head as hard as you can Against the testicles when 2 straps hold his body against the wood plank A flame is moved along the shaft his teeth clench and the pain is Too Much to cry out. Yeah.. it was too much to even cry from once the little boy ran away from the open seat of the blue pants—and from the book room where a bunch of paper-cutouts were so Devastating, when the wind Picked them up, it made them swirl around his head at one point when they all clung around his neck—really tight it seemed like he was having problems Breathing, he had to tilt his head back as far as possible, Then, There Was his semen on the red vinyl Chair, he made it come out all by himself—he had handled his penis ‘til it had got excited while he was looking at pictures of orange and green lamps Their Shades were decorated with orange trim, Little Blue Dots were Prominent Too—when He Put his Fingertips in The Spot, he drug them along the sofa’s Surface—he felt his sperm Clinging underneath his Fingernails—and he tried to wipe it out with newspapers but even though the Wetness Was gone There was still a prominent Stickiness. “Let Me Show You How to masturbate.” “You can do This all day long if you like just avoid Ejaculation—I mean Try to hold off from coming for as long as you Can.” Please Place two needles through your testicles and then make sure that they protrude far enough out the opposite ends that they’re digging into your inner thighs—you’ll have your balls pinned there, this wouldn’t work in any other circumstance… Just as long as you’re aware Of That, I didn’t know that Pain was what He Wanted! It feels as if it’s locked up—my Vulva has Gone Cold—Thought Sara—A Jar of Peanuts where butterflies were suffocated—I can’t even bring myself to orgasm When I am Masturbating—she thought—now a toy train is pulled through a landscape that is supposed to resemble a town which stood so long ago. While you watch it you don’t stand there by yourself or with either of your parents. Pick-up the ones which look as if they would burn the best and then throw the remaining ones back in the pile—wrap them all in red ribbon before you stack them near the fire and you’re ready to toss them in When Debbie Fuller disagrees then she just seems like a flame trying hard to stay lit But what if She is amongst the wood which gets tossed—Too, how brightly will she burn or will she be one of those pieces of wood which you’ve got to prod with another one ‘til you can get the flame burning so bright—‘til all of those specks make that crunching sound—as they proceed upwards from the fire and then they Scatter in the sky! The End of Science, Debbie Fuller sits with her back to us and she watches a film about hell when we proceed To Skip Several Frames.
Her Arm is Higher Up
Reaching to the sky
I see that image seems yellow
And then it really gets orange
The image of her is so close
That it fills up almost all of
The frame
We Feel engulfed and when I saw her hands in the soil I felt like we were lovers although—I have never met her and I see how the place itself manages to make me want to put her down I have this uncontrollable urge to approach her and strike to administer several blows to her body I assume they would feel distinct but all of that changes when her face is close to me a few frames later when she has spread her lips over the lens I am in for it While Giving No Thanks to this situation that I have gotten myself into-the womb Ejaculates Food onto the red Vinyl chair and it’s beautiful the most luscious bread has been Produced along With corn which you’ve got to pick Out of your Teeth but why do you have To. Couldn’t you have protected me and given me a better life. N-O, I D-O N-O-T W-A-N-T T-O D-O T-H-I-S—Debbie Fuller spells out onto the lens, drawing with her Fingers—using the mess that she made from her mouth—this piercing screech is heard, The Sun Produces a Cloudy Plasma And it pulses out with Vigor Onto The Red Vinyl Chair, Lay In It Awhile With your Head Back And Your Mouth open—Feel The Air on your teeth and then look for something with which you may clean-up the Mess.
Fin Of Three

4.Life Is Never The Same, In Which Sara Dreams Of A Storage Space Filled With Elephants And The Rarest Species Of Plant.
We move Towards solid rock—and too—a fire—we place you where life becomes just a counting lesson—“Solid Rocks” Said Herschel—that was how he sort of murmured Doing so as if he Were Almost Human—we fucked on a plank—and then we shat ourselves and disintegrated along with our Feces—we were like plants and threads—and we became bugs—we crawled away while being so happy—and then becoming so sad—I didn’t know what to do about it at first—I saw all but then I would stay quiet but I am not sure he has gotten better yet and I am not sure how to Remain quiet and that woman is skinny—she stays like that she too looks So Distorted, I can’t see why we take ourselves to be so Private—it’s meant to be strength against quietness and then his face on a wall—imagine like it’s projected there—a Red Color On it—and it seems to fit him nice—his mouth opens and there are Spots Which Look Out—you can Look Through Them too—a nomination that every stitch is one which some of them can’t be—earlobes on each small doll head quiet on this high face—about the dog—it’s really old—twenty eight years—even in the years of humans—it lays underneath the sink near the old red mat—and some of its black hair Has turned Rather gray—bushy eyebrows fluff down over its eyes—and it moves its body around a little bit near The Tub—Too—Once it—leaps onto the sink because—you’re old too—been changing into thirty—the wine Hard Blushing—and then they had blue suits—over their bodies—and were wearing Green Boots—but they all wore Beautiful faces—and they swore that they were locked—and there wasn’t Anyone Who Wanted to Finish Watching The Films—which Means That I Saw Them By Myself—Sea, A hard look, dying persons—Face—Sara Said It Looked Like That—Herschel talks like A Person—all of these people crawled in to see me—like a Car—it peers out of her—the pin that had been fastened into her Labia—we’ll have to call you on this—a few times—do you think that you know these guys—there’s a wealth of knowledge which designates the next pieces of my life—is that what Sara Weller Thought, this one I will give you for the other one it sounds like it will take care of you seems that it is as it is not like these ones—they’re inside her where other pins—protrude out of her knees—and I have not taken them out of me in So Long—she removes Them From Her Skin—especially since they were pressed against bone—these things which oppress Her—are Said To Be Certain—did you listen to what she said just to make sure that I was helped to ask I was sure to invite all of the ones who I know—the cages are tightly packed into the back of the truck I did not expect you to kind of be A thing Which turns—her head around and she looks out of the back and they’re being beautiful—just for you—is it possible that I can get a nap sometime—in the afternoon he put his body—in the shower before he got out he asked if he could lay in bed—before dawn came in—she held him when she rocked back and forth—on the chair—he had just lost his mother—he didn’t know that she’d lost hers too, she did get him through—all of this stuff and she did not know how she could lose too—but she wouldn’t Be Sure How to make it—too—Remember when The Girls were about 16 they stood near the log which makes-up the ledge of the door—and they wore black capes And Hoods—which hid Their faces—she wasn’t the oldest—yet—she still put her hand on his face—and she knew that there was not a lot of opportunity—what could have made there be art—what could have made there be information about waiting Nothing heals it—does there seem like enough to Decide—she still holds—his face—and she knows that he’ll need this, All—might get us ready—for what we’re Going to go Through—what made you need to see love what was it at first—your first Breath—and a sigh also because she has a soft—small face how much makes it obvious that you were into her—at all like that—Sara Weller Rose From The Dead—and her behavior was no longer shocking But for you who does not notice at all and it seems like she is glad to be alive—but she would not care any less if she were not—life would be no-more—if she will be dead—like she has been before Oh you Will Notice not even Sara Weller—the way which—she has Been—before—no she was alive—before it some-how makes us feel bad if love is not as much as we need although the giver believes it is—how can I know that you want me too I think that it is all you—that you’re here for my benefactor—and it does not matter whether you need love or not—that you did it all for me and it didn’t matter what you got back—We Don’t want it to end—we look at any other world—and it does not seem like it’s beneficial—never Seems To Flash before my eyes—even when good things were said—when I care about nothing I remember that I was repaired before once when I’d been wrong it was early but not to be made simple since but fresh goes along as a line-like assault don’t you know a law where It feels as if something made me go insane now I see that I need only to feel safe—I know people and see things go before me—but I don’t see why you put him forward when it’s like it was too unfair.
Fin Of Four

5.Ejaculate Into Trajectory
“Ejaculation As Essential As defecation or urination This must be released from him—the only Point is that it breaks out of the Head of his Penis and Then Makes its indentation elsewhere possibly on The Blankets Right next to him—he raises his head to the ceiling and A Lot of Leaves Come Down Spinning From The Wallpaper And They Knock on the tops Of His ears—and there is a blue Cloth Wrapped around him it was just like it spat out on his belly and The Cum was Like heavy Clumps And it smelled Like Horseradish And it speaks to its old Man. Unessential Ejaculation Directed right up in the belly where it flattens against the walls and it is on the matte set up on the guts How do you speak to him like that—when the men were old they awoke on these pipes and they unwrapped the feet of the person closest to them—An the wrappings were extremely dirty what time would you like for me to come Since you know that it might bother you if you’re not able to talk to them so somehow they’re layed there and you see all of their old finger pads in the dry ground—Sure enough They Are Wrapped in cloth The Same as that which they wrapped their feet in And I Don’t want to look like you anymore. I didn’t want to be like you anymore—Can’t you believe that—the brown buildings are there and they’re meeting with the sidewalk on the sidewalk leaves and trash and railings so you don't’ slip off in the streets next to them, The buses come by so fast right near where you’re walking so if you do fall then you’re certain to be dead How Will you—Too, Do You need to get all of your things together?” That’s what Sara Said after she regained all of her eyesight after the swelling went down—initially She’d been struck so hard I know that you’ve been saying that your body hurt But I didn’t Know Who you’d Grown Up With. We Look At It, the frame and somewhere I know she’s stuck I can’t see where she is stuck by the buildings I think I see that the whole concept is almost a joke—I see where The Lights are coming on and they detail the leaves which are laying there from instinct These people seem as Though they are very hard to get along with—“Remember To take your hat off While I am Laying in The Other Room.” That’s what Sara Thought—she couldn’t say it now since her jaw was stuck For Some Reason it had opened up after The Assault But Then it closed again It Had Something to do with how hard the hit had been—if she could have opened her lips then she would have sang a sad song from the bottom of her stomach Boots Would Just Emerge They Would Jerk out and not care whether they broke all of her teeth—my shoulder is on fire there is something burning on it That Needs to be Put Out—They call Them Goblins But I see that they’re Just Walruses And they are In The Water All There Together And I want To get a Closer Look—Being Alone With Them Is Like it’s Neurotic—the sleigh Got Knocked On its Side—and all of the gifts poured out apparently This was the reason that every Year That some of The Boys and Girls Don’t receive Gifts And Another Reason Is that He Can’t Fit down Some of Their Chimneys. The Ones there only get things if their parents are giving them to them—Castration is complete Badly I had to crawl From The Bar to One booth in the back where the table top is covered In Red Shinny leather—and I felt So Cold Since I numbed my Testicles Before I had them Removed I used Too much Ice Maybe But I would have to Feel This Numb Otherwise That Which I would have to face would be terrible pain I remember how strange I felt—they both sat on the same seat and they smoked cigarettes and my vision wasn’t so good because it was so dim I could just see that they didn’t look like they were unhappy to see me but they didn’t seem excited either. Some of them ruined The Drinks with ice, Sara says that she’s heard that before—Colossus carried her into the house from out of the passenger’s seat—he layed her down in one of the beds No-one else was there when he brought her in—I don’t know how long she layed there And She wasn’t Sure either—Armenia Came Home And She Was Shown where Sara Layed And She Heard That She’d Been found on the side of the road and she thought O That is not so great and she thought What do we do with This Girl—she and Colossus Sat at the table they tried to figure it Out and they both thought that she may Die.
“Being Carried Through The Sky is Nice But it is not Nice being Dropped I was going to tell you that since you asked me what the worst part was.” Sara only half smiled when she said that, Looking Right into The Camera Then she got up and walked from The Chair To Have A glass of water—which she doesn’t bring back to the chair—No, she stands near a window that looks out onto everything While She Drinks from out of it.
Fin Of Five

“That Traffic Jam At The End Of The World.”

1.When Vera Shults Met Daphne Kellman.
Towers Somewhere In between White And Gray Protrude Very Highly Upwards. They were Recommended to Me As Much as you were—We Came Down The Steps Which wind around The Side of The Building and We Grasped Each Other There, somewhere Where We Were not All Alone another. Her Room seems so vast to her—the bed is pushed against one of the walls and for the rest of the room—what can be said except that it seems like it is stretching Outwards Farther And Farther And She is not naïve at all about things—The Balcony Where you can see out over All Things But you cannot see down into them so you don’t really know what is going on—there are cars everywhere, one in front of another—one behind the other too—the are situated on the road Like They Are Ready To Demolition Everything That They Can Roll Over And Things which they can smash into—Moving Upwards Wind Flares into her nostrils and Wipes Her Hair Across Her Face—and scatters The curtains, tosses their ends against The Railing On The Balcony, it feels like she is gasping for breath at Certain moments as she stands There—she feels An incredible Surge Within Herself—first it makes her want to run inside and lock herself inside of the closet Or another space Where one can hide—but it makes her want to destroy things Either That Or submerge Herself in water Until The tearing Is freed from her Belly and She Brings her head up from The Water And She Crawls Over The earth And Spits the water that She Gulped when she was underneath the water—into A Hole In The Earth—which Soon caves in As It absorbs The Moisture—and It is So glad to Be A Spot That Was Just Filled In. All of The Staircases Wind Around her—none of them lead straight up OR directly Down—they all have Got a Certain Course Around Them and I don’t know why it has to be so tricky—it makes one feel in danger When They Do not know what to expect As they Make Their Way along The Stairs Knowing not what to Expect As The Stairs Wrap At A More Extreme Degree Around The Towers—She Heard Him Speak The First Words Which he ever spoke to her—she heard them Come From his mouth At The Spot Where The Steps Bend At The Most Extreme Degree and they just become a little edge which You’ve Got to tiptoe across and Cling close to the wall or else you may fall off—He She Remembered Exactly What He Said There—It Had Nothing to do with Love, He’d Say that later—what he had said Or stated was How Narrow The Steps Became But he wasn’t saying Something that she didn’t already…Know Since she had set foot there before. When We’d run outside in the morning It Was always that The night Before Small Saucers With red centers had come down from along the walls and they would spin there on the floor—they would collide with out ankles and Ram Our Toes—We Didn’t Want To Wear Shoes around the house anyways—The First Great Sense of Peace When They Layed Together And She Had her head On His Chest, He Could Taste Her hair in His Mouth—The Ends Of it were Between His teeth—Some of The Buttons of His Shirt Pinched Into Her Nape—but she Overlooked The Fact that it tickled—He Was Looking down at Her Eyelids—then she repositioned herself and She Was Kissing His Lips—It was different When We Ran Out at Night—We Went to The Backyard and The Opening Which was Cut in The Fence—there is a Footpath Which Begins Right on The Otherside—we followed That To Part of An Old House And A car Left in a Spot in the Woods Where Grass No Longer Sprouts up, we ran back to The Edge of The Yard—but we Saw that the only Light Being omitted From The House Was A Clear Red One—so we turned Around And Ran Back to The car and The House and that was where We ended up spending The Night.
When It Went More Her Way—she didn’t have to get up in the mornings, she just slept Clear Until The Afternoon—A Yellow Beam—That I See Coming Near A Dirt Road Where A School Bus Parks And Then Small Shoed Feet Scuttle Over The Hard Dirt and The Endless Pebbles—Vera Shults Was One of The Children, The Bus Hadn’t Parked Apparently it had broken Down—Maybe You were not supposed to Take The Children out of The Bus—but They All Were So restless that the driver figured that it would be better if she took them Outside Otherwise She Would have to Keep Them inside The bus until Help Came And she wasn’t Sure how long that could be—When Vera Walked By The Bridge That’s Closed because it is not safe to Drive Cars Across It anymore She always saw the same man Who’d Ask her how she was doing then she would say to Him That Everything Was All right But She Never went so close that He Could Reach out to her—she Just Always kept her distance—The Bus Was Near Many Fields And Vera Looked Out to Them And There Were Cows—and Flies And Flowers—And Her Feet Hurt From standing So She Sat down In The Grass Near One of The Fences Which encloses A Field—they waited and no help came By—now it was later in the day and it was going to be dark sooner than They Knew It—The Driver Did not know what to do With The Children—she could just hope that somebody Came By Before This Day Ended—they Were All Killed in Wrecks, cars Flipped over And Turned on their Sides And Peoples Heads Were Crushed and Even Cut off completely In Some cases—peoples Chests Were Smashed When The Dash dug into Them And glass from The Wind Shield would Cut Their Faces—it happens so Fast—there is nothing slow about it, there is just this instant impact—then A Moment’s Blur—and You Might Have Broken Glass In Your Mouth—and Blood flowing into your Eyes—she Tries To free him From The Drivers Seat But he’s Stuck There And He May Be Dead—his face looks like it’s caved in And His Neck is Twisted He’s Probably Dead But She Can’t Be sure Of That And at the same time She Can Feel Shards of Glass Stuck in her scalp—her head will need to be shaved So The Cuts Can Be Stitched And cleaned Out—she’ll fear that he hair will not grow back but it probably Will—her Sweater is torn and Stained with Her blood And his—her hands Are Bleeding… there is Glass in the palms But none of her fingers are broken. The Driver wants to Start The Bus Up again And Hopes That it Will Run This Time—and she thinks that it would be miraculous if it did—she would like to get these kids out of her. It Does Start Actually, She gathers the children back to the bus and pulls back onto the road after she sees that they’re all there. They left Vera In Front of Her House And There Wasn’t Any light being omitted From it—just a black tone present in the open windows.
Fin Of One

I didn’t know that it had been pilfered Like That—Said Erstwhile
Gallhota—now it is an itchy taboo—his orgasms knock him off of his feet Was it like the bolts that he shot simply knocked his block off—the muscles in his legs tensed up Or Something I Know that I have something that I like have to do right now—but I Love You Kathleen But you would know more about that than I—Erstwhile’s Motives Were Done With No finishing touch What I was going to Write Before is what I don’t understand—they had a phone conversation but they were simply talking in what seemed as a riddle.
Then I saw Jessica Or He Sees The Flesh on Her Body And notices that There is not discoloration on Her Body—she is bigger than some girls but still excellently beautiful and lush—and he Wants To Hold her Down When He Sees The Dark lines which were painted on The Edges of Her Eyes. I’m Home He says But there is still so much to Do.. Why Do I leave everything that I’ve got in these remains of itself And Then I run off and I try to solve something but I just lost myself and my life just become a Riddle I Robbed Everything, Took it for myself but I didn’t Want to Make My Life That Way. So You’re Saying that They Lack Communication Why Did He Keep Giving me Such a Hard time But I still Was Worried About Him But He Didn’t have Too Much to Say to me The Next Morning—when I first Started Seeing all of Those Pictures—And I was So much a Different person—I saw green on a white face and the blue image of a whale and then it becomes a car crash that I am seeing and then I see people wash up on the beach—but I still called at four o clock in the morning I remember—he says why do you call me at this hour I say Because These Are Not Passions that I can Tame it is that I must call you at these times—and say so many things to you—I have to keep my word on this and you see How Hard it feels When Warm Ribbons Make Steam Against A Seat The Sweat Just Rises Out of My Ass As He Licks it—runs his tongue into it—but a crown that he made her out of flowers that same day when he went out and he ran into her in a Field is Completely Similar Story He Lifted Her Above His Head, he said hello but Everyone Forgot who He Was. Then When He Fell From The garden Onto The cement Dock—he wondered What The Point Was Of building a Garden Over A Ledge Like That. I think that Jessica Would have Wondered too If She Had Seen Him But it didn’t Seem Like She Ever Did … You Have A Dirty Cup—She Said To Me…. A—is—Daid—
YOU HAVE A DIRTY CUP, NIGHTMARES And Prolonged Orgasms—30 Minutes Later--###HEALTH—CEREMONY—##
So Please Play Another song Says Jessica But one Less Pretty And Much more sad—because soon all of this stuff is going to Break—his chest Seems Like it is So Tight—I saw How it was Then I Quivered—All of These Films Made By Students Seem to be about fear—One Example is that they’ll show A girl running or something But they do not show you what she’s running from and They’ll Show A Girl in A House And There Will be sounds in the dark and They Film Her Face So That it Looks Very Frightened There is not a possibility That They’re going to Show Us What She’s Scared Of What About The Other film that he’s working on it is about A Man Who leaves Home and it starts With A Photograph of a man Leaving Home.
There’s No Chance of Them Being Friends He Leans Her Over The Bed and he runs his tongue along her Teeth and As Soon As He Cums he Puts on his Shirt and Leaves…. He Says I took my Cue of Imagining The Worst Thing Possible And I Think about that And Having it make me want to Leave—what did I hear I think that she was Crying maybe Not You Forget that some girls just want Sex Too Not Love Nothing Else—There Was This Creature And It Dripped Like A Slug—Everywhere On The street And I thought I saw Another man Running Behind When I took my Shirt off And I ran Really Fast I Kept Thinking That I didn’t: That I didn’t Want To Be Scared But Then I figured Why Shouldn’t I be Maybe I should just be scared of Everything—and let my imagination Run Away into me; THE POLITICAL RESERVE—ORGASM AND NIGHTMARE.
Jessica Had Seen Him Too She Said Didn’t I meet You Before This Time—he said yes I think that I met You—the room where they will kiss has an oval Cutout in the floor and they’ll push the chairs and the sofa down into it; Do you want to Stuff My Cunt—He Hopes That She’ll Say but he should Have known that She Would never say That. Hey Baby! He Shouldn’t have said that—There Are A Lot of Girls Who Think He’s a Fool Because He says that to them when he first meets Them—and they are totally Embarrassed And So Is He. It is not Positive For Either Of Them. Why Did you Put Him Down Said Jessica.
An old Ex Of men ruins A Wheelbarrow And one of the places on the Pike you Know where we came down on our bikes Near the bottom Where You Cross A Bridge—And All that Gravel is Laid Right before Us. An incredible Orgasm For Erstwhile—as he splashes His Sperm onto The Toilet Rim while the seat is Up—He Wipes it Off with Tissue.
Fin Of Two

3. When Ester Kellman Met Marvin Schlocker
I did not like my family any more after they left me and I knew that they wanted me to be a way which I never could be it was all of that pain that stopped me from liking them and I realized that I never wanted to see them again—they didn’t even bother to try to make amends, I can’t believe that—I still can’t, if you really cared about something or needed it wouldn’t you try to patch things up if you Were Having Some Sort Of Problem—I must be say rightnow that I never want to talk to them again—but I know that they would never even attempt to apologize to me So There Is No Amends to be made I Will Not Be Looked down upon and ridiculed by People Who Are without love in their Lives—Control and Love Are Two Different Things, do you think that you can beat some Person into Submission make them be what you want them to be—it will not be me that you will do this to—I am above all of this—I know that I am a better person than you—because my head is filled with love—but I know that from your spite and contemptuous Vile Forms That You could never even acknowledge That—why did you want to Me To Go Away? Why is it that you don’t care about My Livelihood Do you Ever Want to Know the Person Whom I am—well you Better Bet Your Life.
When Jessica Called Him On The Telephone
He picked up right after the first ring it is not a trick he said I want to talk to you, I really love you—he said—I know that you do she said—You Will See Me, still—he had to see her—there was nothing else now—back to the first reason to live to become closer to something that was beautiful—but he was forced into this position where he had to make choices that were such close calls and they became this horrible abuse But I did not hate them for it—but why did it have to be like that—what in the hell is all of this What Do I do when humanity is denied Do I have to lay next to Her on The Bed and Clutch her until My Life Disintegrates Even Further. Listen To Me She Says I really Love You too And I think that I need you just as much as you need me You Will See Me Still—before I lost my mind—and afterwards my life was just a total wall—and She Broke all of that down some other people packed all of this in—who the Fuck Are They Why in The Hell Are They So Fucking Terrible They Completely Fucked Him Up so Bad—but he still liked the look on her face—he Disintegrates Just Like me And when we compared notes Neither of us believed that There Couldn’t Be anything There That We Just had to stand By Ourselves What The hell Have We Just Been Through We Wondered That For So long—and We Knew That We Needed Something Else—why did we have to be these people that ended up having to say everything with such desperation—He Picked up after the first ring and he was glad that she called this wasn’t really a talk that she could have with someone else she started to like him shortly afterwards—I felt like he did I did too I felt like I was just half of what I had been before—there were faces that I never heard either And I just had to Whisper These Things To faces That I Even Feared So much, there is nothing that I really want at all because I felt like I had everything but I wish that you would have said Hi To Me She said He Said It doesn’t matter But I do know that Now—being in Love Is The Same As Loving Somebody to me… Said Jessica There Was the truth of matter That Her Heart was Quite Wide. Was This Evident Before? Do you understand?
Fin Of Three

4. In Which Millet Freeze Finds A Way
Why have I said no all of this time. It doesn’t matter to me if it is said anymore The Stone Where I am is underneath a tree and two others are to its sides is the a more formal way to do anything—there is nothing at all that I am going to Let You Know about—my whole wide Head Is Soaked Like Me—A Thing that Freezes Says Jessica… But Suddenly there is some kind of Mercy to It—before you Became So Conscious of who you were I Think that I am going To Arrive Yes I am Really Interested In Going When they came they thought I was not here so they didn’t Leave any trace of themselves Thank God I do not want To Be Denied But I am so torn Too. Why have I thanked God So many Times But I say Oh No Too—when I came down around falling stars I don’t want to Do anything today There is nothing that I want to do for anyone—Said Jessica. There Are Pits in the earth that you’re sure to go To Quickly And you’ll duck your head in But I Am Still Alone And I have to Die By Myself There is no one there to Hold on To Me I cannot clutch her As I disintegrate Please Don’t Show me anything Else Why I’ve Said no all of this time it is me that you’re All Still Not wanting to Be with—there is no one that Hears Her Say all of That….. The sky is tender And it Stretches Across Two things And there are Drawn Lines And They Spell my name out I never see you by yourself anymore But it doesn’t seem like you are yourself Either—why can’t you just see me by myself please Understand why I want you to This Has Become Ridiculous They stood In A Part of the room where the crowd was heavy and their backs were pushed against the wall—they had bands in their hair and Makeup on their eyes I was fascinated in an adolescent Way but I got less calls than I suppose It is Just Me that you want to See by Myself But It doesn’t matter to me anymore The Sky is Tender And it Stretches And Becomes Ridiculous Why do You consider The Sky painted in The Evening.
I don’t Want to Live any longer: I feel like worthless Person and there is not An inkling of Joy In My Life At All. Why do I have to keep guessing when it is the end—why is there no hope why is there no escape I am So Fucking Depressed It Is Impossible to take anymore When it Feels Like That Everyday—clots combined Create Such Small Forms They Were White but they were hit with streaks of Red And I heard that just shapes were flashed against The Wall—Nobody Wants in There Are Days Filled With nothing And If I last any longer here it would be only to Vanish What Have I Done With Myself?
Some More of The Worst News that I’ve ever had And then these Little Things they Sparkle And I See The White Forms Become More Human As they Gather Around me And they Move in a Circle I wanted it to Only Be You and I There is nothing that I want to do here I have become so possessed By A Sadness That All That there is, is Just How Length Everything is So Drawn Out—I am screaming Waiting to Get out of Here I don’t want anymore of This. They portray me incorrectly and they act as if I am a stranger to Them And there is no more That I can Do About That—why do they keep showing her as if she is an enigma When they should have already known Who She Already Was.
The Man With Fly Mask On and the Trench Coat He wore it So well—but lower seems Drags on The Ground And he Places Impossible Demands on Everybody—I just can’t believe that you could ask these things of people I am so starkly Depressed and I don’t want to do it like that I keep telling you but you won’t listen to me I am Not Going say This anymore—said Jessica I want you to do it that way. I don’t want to live any longer Not Now That you’ve Gotten Rid of The Things That I need in My Life to Live With I don’t Have anyway To Deal With this Dreaded Loneliness, I can’t believe that you don’t care if I feel this all of time—I know that you don’t None of You Do—since you’re Not Here Now—I wish you were, I wish somebody was here now There is No-one—Jessica Says That there is Nothing. I feel like I have to Change Everything Before I solve all of these Problems To Even Solve them I’ll have to End up being like somebody How Else Can I make any sense of them—now I want more of this Surprisingly If I can’t Feel This Pain then I can’t feel anything else either I take everything the wrong way I am preparing to Drive Nails into my ankles just to see them Jerk A little Bit For Some indication and Proof That I felt something Remember When you didn’t Come back anymore That Proved More Often that I had Nothing remaining in me; You are Not Usually Here Anymore Says Jessica Every Time That I try to contact you—You Just make me Wait So long I so Fucking sick of This Ridiculous shit.
The Hippopotamus was in The Backyard By The Heavy Mud that was where Jessica always fastened Him—she would go to the top window and signal down For Him and then she’d toss a bunch of Ribbons Down.
The house Stinks and it smells like a pile of bullshit—The Animal is really Unhappy in the backyard—Then Jessica asked me if I was really Fucking pissed at her—and she said that if I wanted to say Fuck You then it was one of times When She would let it slide—but I told her not to worry about that. And I didn’t bother to Say anything else—I told her about the impossible Demands That She Places Upon people And about how she twists My Arm And Ask me to say things that I would rather not say since it is ingrained in me that this are the things which you say to someone when you don’t want to see them anymore—but she says don’t worry that to her they’re illuminating an That They Will Not Be Taken That Way. Though I am still worried about saying Them But for Her Sake I said them Anyhow—and when I walked away And I said Goodbye It was Like I felt So how confident And then I heard from the next day and she was saying again that everything was all right .
The Backyard Stinks__All of this Rock-hard dogshit is Laying Around—no one ever cleans it up—the Fresh dogshit really Stinks But the Smell Has Been diminished To a Great Degree On The Hardening Stuff. It Takes A Dial To Turn The Light, and I want to Do that so that I can Make The Room a lot Brighter Than it was Before It so dark in here that I could Barely See The Pictures that he was trying to Show me.
He is Fucking
Trying to Show me them
So why won’t you fucking
Let me look? The Front of The House Stinks Too it smells Like The Dried Skin of Enormous Whale Which I don’t like the stink of and I think that it smells So Bad. I didn’t know why it has to be a fucking problem And I don’t Know why you Have To Make it One I know that you don’t care I mean I know that you do on the contrary Saying that you don’t is just a Defensive mechanism Your Fear is that The Person Will Become Attached And say these things now but Then They’ll Abandon you and not Care Later… I can give you my word that I am not like that but what good is my Word. I can’t Prove that—I won’t care Sometime—but Things Have Changed Now The Tables Seemed to’ve Turned I can’t Believe That I am Solving A Problem For Somebody In Else Since I never thought that I would Live to See That Day Since I remember when my own Problems Overrode Me To Such A degree that they Diminished My Confidence.
How do I know that I can still be scared?
Some of them were wearing black Coats Which were Long and you couldn’t see their Faces Because Of Their Hoods… And They Got Out of The Cars In Rain Near The train Platform They Cut it so close that they didn’t have to Worry Very Much—about Waiting, The train arrived With in several Minutes. They Gathered into The Train As The Night Air was Cold and Rain Started Dropping Down And They Tried hard to Avoid Stepping on The Stinking dogshit that Was Strewn All over the platform. Some people wrap wax paper On their faces and let somebody Shit on them—they even Fill their Open Mouth With The Paper so That They Can Take Shit in It The Point is To Feel The Warmth Of The feces—but if you’re Going to be degraded to Such A Degree Then why not Just Eat The Shit itself?
Asses Stink because Shit Comes out Of Them!
She says, I can’t believe that she said that out of nowhere we were just sitting on a Couch and that was what she blurted out I didn’t at all actually care If she wanted to Say Things like that then she’s More than Welcome to. Right, You know that House Guessed Along With The Hippopotamus, they made the same Guess When they Played Board Games Together—Jessica Says that her Favorite Games Do not Involve Boards And That she does not care about what love is—what about when Vera Shults Discovered an outer Body of Water Somewhere?
Fin Of Four

5. Where Bull Fickle Met Herman Escure
Oh Go On Up The Stairs—but most of the people that I know are not as Generous as You Are They’re not as generous as you or I could Just Lay Down Here For A While But that Wouldn’t do me any Good I told her So I may as well go home and sleep and then I will Come Back Later. But I guess that it doesn’t Matter Now Or Maybe It Still Does—yes I think So, If they say anything about Me Then Don’t Believe Them—Said Jessica—but why would they say anything Anyways I Know you a lot better than they do But most of The People that I know Wouldn’t have enough Balls To Say Anything About You to me And it wouldn’t Make Any Sense To Say Something to somebody who is a Good Friend Of Yours Because I am never going to believe them and I don’t care what they Say. I will not go down the stairs because I know what a long way it is Says Jessica—The Cement Walkway Near The Water is falling in—because it is So Worn And It Has Been There For so long—I know that there was a boat Docked There Before And I went down to it and I carried A Baby With me said Jessica but I know that you decompose there You Fall To Pieces Yourself And why don’t you Care Because they just used me they said that they needed Me and it turned out that they really Didn’t but I don’t Care About most of The People—There are two slidingboards that are Near where the Hippo is Fastened In The Yard and Many Of The Children Slide Down Them And this startled the Hippo at first But Now it Has Gotten Used to It—did you say that she’s Followed Me Here Oh Go On But it wasn’t mine Said Jessica It Really Wasn’t And I am Going to Waste All of My Time trying to Get the damn thing out of the backyard to the front of the house—we layed under there and we laughed Then we Saw The Men Playing with Their Cocks And we didn’t Know what they were doing—why Were They Moving Their Hands Up and Down on Them And they Had Pictures Of Rivers Near The Pillow Next To Them And Something Sticky Squirted Out on The Prints. What should I have Said What Would you like The Cause Of My Death to Be? Vera Slept On the Lawn that night she didn’t want to Go into her house—she thinks about that now when she Wakes In The Apartment With The Window That Looks Over The City—and She Lets Her hair Drop From The Balcony She Likes to Throw Strands Of It off But I heard their Was A party That we were Having for all of those people that were Going Away…. My baby Said It liked My Breast And there Were Lights Painted Around The Nipples—I felt the lawn Take a stab at my Arms Come Floating Down A River Slide Down Them—slide down the sliding boards that we put up so you Could Come Down Right By The Hippopotamus And it is Hungry And is Munching So Much grass—at first one night We Let the birds off Of Their Branches And their Were Red Wires and Leaves All around The Cages Which We have to Trap Them in She Lets The dogs run everywhere I think they Sleep Longer Than She Does So I don’t Know why She even Needs Them The apartment That She Wakes Up in every Morning What was it that he said to her—what did he say up to the window When he was below her in the city and he was actually really far out there—in some alley behind the shops he yelled up to her Actually he yelled directly over the City All of it and he hoped that it would deflect off of something and Be Sent up To her. I never managed To get through all of it But I know that they spotted Something When they were on the deck they just saw it through the Telescope but didn’t bother to lay claim to it Then—she slept on the lawn That night and she never forgot that day on the bus I have Heard parts of that Story it sounds Great She Needs him around for sex The Room is lit rather dimly And There is a big Hello Given To their Fortunes Before he puts his hand up in her crotch And feels Her Sex Drip into his Hand It is You it has to be I want to know if it is That is what she asks him as she’s on top—I don’t know if I can settle for the things that he has said about us—take them in and show them the mess that we’ve made Of Course There is a lot of Something Else—an Ass Makes Shit It Doesn’t Make Anything else—be careful how big you stretch the hole because it is that way for a reason Biologically Speaking—so when it is Stretched Too Much to a point and Size it Bleeds And It is So Much Bigger And You can’t control the Rate that The Feces drops out—if you have to shit then you just may end up shitting yourself. What The Hell are you doing now Just Bidding Your Time—Come Down, Right Says Jessica When Herbert Called Her He Said all of These Things in different Voices And he made a fool of The Telephone too.
Fin Of Five

6. In Which 16 _ Moons Appear
We Spin on a plate that is right below our heads we’re fastened to it or that’s how it feels—he told me to please not contact anymore unless there were very straining circumstances—but the times when we talked before it wasn’t out of bad spirits those Things were All Good—I will make sure that I’ve got the time to do everything when I get there—and I am starved from this List of These Errands They’re Quite So boring I was Asleep out here when she Drug herself by and she fastened something to my door that I was happy about—right below Our Something moves from underneath the door We have to move like we’re not so fucked up—we don’t want to pretend that any of what we were is gone. This time he was trying to lay his head on Her Breasts—they were being revealed really well as her shirt Rose Up—but I think it is for the better that it will be the last time that I see Jessica But my head spins at the Thought of not seeing Her. There’s This Black Spot and two bodies are laying there With their Hands on each other—And A Huge Missile impacts—tears the earth up and casts the bodies aside—maybe you’ve got to breathe Easier when you’ve seen some things like that collide—even though I am fine why is there a Look in my eyes like I am desperate—The Thought of Seeing Myself Makes Me feel like I am so sad—there is an error in every type of Communication Or Correspondence—one of the people involved Misses the beat Eventually and That’s when the error arises—What Do you do when you don’t hear from them and then you wonder what they have got that’s better to do than to talk to you—tonight I have got so much to do that it is hard for me to talk to you—but don’t worry because no marring must occur because if it does then we can never see This Like it was Before—and we won’t be so trustworthy to rely on each other. Who Do You Think? Not me I am not doing something else—doing none of which you expect me to be doing. We as People Propel ourselves so fast into things, that is one of the problems. Right below a Small space—two pieces of wood Concealed By grass—that was where the sound was first heard—it was a small yelping but then the boxed was opened and something a lot wilder came out of there—more than we could expect—It Runs So Fast and we hear the sound of its feet against the earth and we See The Streak that it makes but we never really get a good glimpse of it—it comes into the towns sometimes and it is always Hiding behind a certain spot and making people very afraid—she Looks into the dark when she sees Little Gleaming Slits And she thinks of what was Promised to her—she hears it say Eat The Oyster and it just feels like the chance Encounter With any man—why does she want to keep us at a distance but pull us close at the same time—has this ever happened before? I don’t Know—he said—it seems like some part of his Life That he does want to tell you All About—but he doesn’t for some Reason—remember those Slits That You saw in The Dark and The Little Colors That Gleamed out of Them—some way there They Seemed as if they were moving at the rate of a heart beat—I don’t think that he promised Anything—she says but everything is a promise that is the problem There is No Problem—But the problem Becomes Having Been Attached Long Ago And then not Caring—I need to See You I can’t Wait any longer She Says—Nobody really Wants to Alone Anymore—it makes us all so sad—some Times He Seemed Distant More Than he Could Believe—near the back The Streak Came Again—its feet his so hard against the Ground That Its Enormous Size And Strength were Alluded—I Looked At Wall and I never Saw Pieces Cum—I just saw The Streak of Wagon And it knocked Down A Set Of Stairs—and Where The Hills Fold Like A Vulva A Railroad Track Comes Out underneath—that’s where the car moves along and makes so many things happy I didn’t try to lay my head on her breasts But I put my mouth on her lap—and when I got inside there was phone On The Floor And it Rang—She Says I wonder What you’re Thinking about these days I Have To Say things that are a lot different than what I thought about I saw you a lot—she says that she wants to say something More—but I say that there is nothing left for her to tell me that I don’t already know But I will listen any ways. They all become Links She says To Me—when I saw The Streak Come Near The Town And I saw The Steps Collapse And I thought about You And How You Like These Big Nights But now it is Just Past tense—Oh Why I said It is ridiculous But I said that I was sorry that I said because I really knew what she meant—and I wouldn’t have thought of her though when the steps fell down—I admitted that and she said that she didn’t take as an offense—I said that I was glad that she knew what I meant and we ended up talking for a long time—about structures and Birds that Bite All of Their Feathers Out. We both wondered what could be done about the streak—it is just that it’s everywhere these days and it hurts both really bad—because of things that she thinks of when she sees it—and for me it is just bad that I have to know the things that other people think of when they say it it’s not that I have ever seen it myself but maybe I have but I have problem telling the differences between lots of shapes so if I have seen it—there is the possibility that I didn’t know what it was. It was so hard for her—but she said that she appreciated that I didn’t make hard and it had nothing to do with me—it was just the feeling that she got from it—how can she look around And Wonder So Much about This Lost—The Streak—Knocks the wheels off of wagons—and Then He’s got balloons that are spinning with the agility that he is capable of moving with—his speed it is just amazing, The Vines Are Thick Sometimes—And People Can’t even push them aside if they do then all that they find are just other vines so there is no point in trying to clear everything out—but just right after She said that she didn’t care about time—that it didn’t matter—there was a great security to her soul when time was just plodding and she forgot for that minute and she acted like she could remain where she was and then the way that these things were fused together in this space was simply soothing—but the vertical plank began rising upward in the space where it was positioned He was going to be crammed in there—He had a rash On face and his skin was Peeling off or the fine layers of it were—they become very delicate white flakes And they just drip down—so he had to try to conceal his face while the Plank was Going upward—but he was able to get off from it—he landed on the hard dirt—and then he walked down the narrow lane—when he came to shed he knew that was where all of the paintings were kept, they had cloth thrown over them and he kneeled down and removed it and he brought some of his favorite Paintings into the direct light and he sat on the floor of the shed with his legs folded and looked at them for a long time, he just admired the way that they’ve been painted—he looked at how the color had been applied—he did this for a long time And then he Put The Cloth back on them and put all of them back in the spot where they’re always kept he wasn’t supposed to be in there but he was So careful that he was sure that no-one would ever know that he had been. The Streak Comes Out Too—it rumbles the floor of the shed because it moves so fast—that it knocks the paintings Down and so it doesn’t matter if they were put back in their place of not—If The Plank Were Able to rise enough then maybe the streak could be caught—it could be possibly be trapped---that would be the end of all of this trouble—Jessica knew that then So many Things might not fall over—like they had before—can I call you back I said—but that offended her even more—I don’t want this and either do you—but one of has too and no matter who initiates it Then it is Still Going to be Terrible For Both of us—here is something so bad that there is no way to make it good—Both of Our Lives Getting Ready to Disintegrate—He Had Quicker Fall This time when the plank Dropped Him—it rose half way And Then it started Dropping down It Fell So suddenly That He Landed on his Side—and he hurt himself pretty bad—there were marks himself—he saw that when he sat inside letter on and leaned against the dresser—with his shirt off—then The Light Was Cast All over His Body—he Ran His Fingers along his wounds and he flinched as he did so—the paint had started to crumble on the paintings which he had liked to look at so much the ones which were in the shed—they had just been there so long—it is too bad that they can’t last forever as they were—but he thought what if I put them somewhere Else—and he looked at himself very strangely and he didn’t Seem Like He Understood that at all—I mean he didn’t really need to know who Was He Just needed to Know Why He Liked those Paintings so Much—he couldn’t believe that it was going to be this hard to find out—he came up from behind the rocks and the sun was going down—near the water and that Made Feel like he was in a Dark Shadow—everywhere things are shaded for him—and another person wakes up somewhere different from where he does—so maybe he should have thought less about that and maybe more about what mattered—but he went out and he waded in the water and then he swam out a little bit—and he floated there ‘til the sun had totally gone down—No One Needs to See me Until I disappear He told himself—so He Lay himself Down on The Stones Near the water In Hopes That he Would Disappear After being Out so long in dark—he lay there for several hours and Nothing Felt Different—it was probably into the middle of the night when some things Changed—he heard A Sound come off the water That Seemed Like it was Being Cut—Something Was Skimming across it and at a fast speed—he sat up on the rocks and he tried to look out in the distance and see if he could see anything out there—but he didn’t think that he would really be able to since it was so dark—he looked for a while and he heard the sound still—it was coming really fast—and he noticed that he could make out small gleaming slits they were like tears in the fabric Because the Distance across the sea Was A Wall—the came close and Skimming sound combined with a heavy Breathing Like Something Gasping for oxygen-even the rocks where he Lay As Big as they were Started to Move From There Spot—they shivered and they Shook—and he was on them And rolled since they were smooth and slick and there was nothing to Grasp onto—he rolled off of them right into the sea At The Same time that the Breathing Was So Loud And The Skimming sound Know Seemed Like The Sound Of Incisions Against a slowly penetrating surface—They Collided—The Streak Hit into Him—right into—it had used his body as a kind of Launching Board—While Doing so it had Taken His Head off—That Plodded Somewhere probably Back On The Shore It probably Rolled into the sand and if it did and stayed there all night then it was probably Carried out by The Tide And Maybe not found.
Fin Of Six

7.In Which They’re Next To Each Other In Their Lonely Bed
Do You Know anyone? Could it be someone—I don’t Know said Jessica—down The Two Hills When You Go A Little Further They Seem To Merge and Be One Hill—that conglomerate—was where she layed her bag Down—and Patches of Grass Were Around it—sometimes if it kicked over a few feet she could Lose The Bag in The Grass—She would Not See it—I have to go up the street because I am really hungry-could it be someone—I know that it could be says Jessica –you’re an hourglass thinker—are you sure that you sent those things to the right address—because it is that they’ve Never arrived—don’t you begin this with me Asked Jessica—though it seemed to her like she was left out—I don’t know where I layed the case down but I knew that after I did that I wasn’t going to see any people for awhile—I needed to be involved with myself said Jessica—but it could be someone—down the fold of Two hills a bunch of things Run out But we have to Ask ourselves What do they prevent—the color orange is something that they get rid of all of the time.
It Couldn’t have Been Someone-the color of The Oak and The Contrast against the Orange Was Intense How Did they Trap Themselves Up. You must not have sent that to the right place because doesn’t it look like it never arrived—the easiest days for me are the ones where I just stay inside all day and I don’t do anything at all—I am unmotivated to venture outside—he says—but I know people—it isn’t like I don’t know anyone—I am just not down for hanging out anymore—I would rather hangout by myself than with Most people—The Important Spot in The Grass Where She Dropped her Bag—she did find it later—and there Were makeups missing And A Mirror Was Gone—I hate the way that they jump up and down and then everything scatters—We End up getting rugburns on our legs—from skidding across the carpet—I am sure we can change our minds—they say as they walk to the Bar—they walk over the little red bridge—and they hear the water run underneath I know why the insist walking over it so quietly To Not Stir Any Noise—but before the can get across the Streak is Heard—She is walking Near the top of The Garden Coming Down With Blue lipstick On—She Would Like to Go Down on Him but she says these are Things That You’ve Got To Ask for your Friends to do—she says that you’ve been friends with another girl—and she says that it is one that I know too—everybody else was going out and doing things and he stayed in the same small spot in His Life—he didn’t want to go out and Do Anything And No One Could See Why after they Heard The Streak They Understood—they Saw The Streak Too—A Blue wave That Cut Over The bridge Like A Simple Ripple.
Fin Of Seven

8.In which Noah Pinnot Finds A Clam
She Said that she liked having you so much in her life—so you start dreading the time that she won’t say that if she doesn’t care anymore than it is going to really bother you—what if she cares more about someone else—but you know her too and you see her all of the time—so you have to let her have the room to have other people in her life as well—I can See that it is really bothering you says Jessica—let me know if you would like to talk more about it—and I am glad that you called back I would rather sort it out than make you Let it bother you for the rest of the night—she said that she thought that you liked having her a lot in your life too—then she realized that you were just done with her—what you thought that everything would be when you walked in There You Found out Really fast that you were Wrong About that—it wasn’t what you thought it would be at all—now they sat so still near the light and one of them reached over and turned it off—see how dark that it is but what is there that they need to see—what is there to say, I hated he said that and I realized that it reflected how boring I thought he was—he had awful teeth and awful clothing and he never really paid attention to anything that you said His friends were even worst Than him—they were all chumps they were definitely the average Guys—they were Boring and they talked about the most Basic things and they found the most tiresome things to be funny—Now, I hate the way that she was too when I look back On it I See all of the Things that I don’t like about her at all—she had to have all of this space but she doesn’t give space to anyone Else Everything is A Flaw to her But she is without flaws I Once Wanted to tell her all of this how angry I was and how much I hated her—but now my anger has exceeded that point—I don’t even want to say anything at all and I really can’t even stand to be around her ever again Maybe if I am lucky than I will never have to see her again in my life It is Her Fault She made this so hard. They Always saw themselves as better than everything But one Thing that they didn’t Know was Who they even Were So how can Think so highly Of themselves and at the same time Subject themselves to Such intense Neglect—Everything is fucking horrible and all because of People They’ve made it so hard—their horrible faces are There Looking at me I Hate Them and I hate everything they’ve ever said—after I didn’t see them and I didn’t care then I realized that I have never wanted to see them—I think this is your fault because you didn’t know how to deal with any of this and you set up these ridiculous ideas that were supposed to deal with, well you made like this so I don’t know why you’re asking me again to Correct your mistakes what do you want me to say for you since I see you’ve got nothing to say for yourself.
Fin Of Eight

9.In Which Curtis Bellini Dreams Of Gold
The Lake is Frozen—
I know That, because it is Winter—
If there’s a few inches of Snow Then I can Probably walk across it—
I won’t have any Problem Keeping My Footing As Long as there is Enough Snow on The Ice—
I am just saying that to inform myself—
Where was I when I asked where my home was—he Wondered But he was Never Going to be Told again he did think He Was So sick of It of just doing nothing and there was not A Single Aspect of this That He Wanted to do Over.
I really don’t give a Shit—
You See That I want no more Of this Nonsense—
Let’s try to veer from that if we can—
You told me that you did not feel free—
I wondered if you meant that when you said it—
You Know I have not thought about that in a long time he said and After I waited Awhile to finish what I am doing and it still seems like the same thing but I went at my own Will and there is nothing that I am sick Of Doing There’s a few inches Of Snow On The Roof Of The House And I hear a small body sliding down on it—it crashes into the gutters and it even tears the roof off pretty much and I didn’t even Have Time to Talk to you—where was I when I asked what was Going to Be Up There The Trees Were Abnormal And You Couldn’t See What Was coming Up ahead Of You Because of the way That The Road Rose Up—You Just Saw How it Kept Rising Around The Trees Sometimes their Branches tapped the windows and the sound that it made caused me to flinch in a way—I know there is a town where nothing is Going on But I have a Problem with seeing things anyway other than this way I can Almost Deal with you All of Time But you’re an Adult and You know how to deal with things too. He Turns Over on his Pillow And He Dreams Of Gold Being Underneath The Bed But he reaches his hand under there and all he feels in water—his fingers are so wet but there is not a change of Perspective in His Unconscious mind I Believe that I have been down there a few times But he was never going to Change—so you see why I want no more—how do we deal with this? I don’t want it to be that everyone has to get together to try to get things to be brought back to how they were before The Thought of That Clearly Bores—There is quite a large snake In The Garden And I have Seen the way that The Grass is cut up—those roads that used to Be covered Up—that was where it happened and She Says that this is just a whole loop that goes around the city he is one of the best people for coming up with those things he even slides down the slick Mud on His Bottom—cracking Really Hard And He Flinches ‘Cause His sense of Balance is off—but I know that he saw it as an opening and I detected a rumble a Profuse Rage in How he believed that he could ravage Every Inch of her I Detect it And I see it.
Fin Of Nine

10.Where The Strange Case Of Mara Was Activated
It’s you, you came through again and you wanted things this way that you could not be scared of me—Don’t worry about me abandoning you—in any case I think that I’ll most luckily stick around—Says Jessica—I am Not going to let you go—you removed certain things to make yourself this way—I don’t think that I can respect that—I am involved in many fruitful activities but I don’t feel like responding to anyone anymore You came Through But you wonder again which things that you wanted—Who is this Girl—he says as he holds Her Picture—her name is Mara She is somebody that I knew a long time ago—he says—but when asks more questions the response that he gets is that he needs to leave right away—how did you build all of this These Pictures They’ve got your whole Life in Them—I Know That He says But he says it differently then he said it before it seems like now he is more apt to Talk to Him—they do talk for a long time and for Free He Is not scared And either Was I—I know that It meant something then When He Said let me do it for you and he Reached His Arm Around My Body and he had it on the back of my neck—now you know my name and everything This is Not Different He Says But then he Says This Part Might Hurt—He Said don’t think that only a Pussy Opens his asshole For other Men—have you ever had a cock up your ass before—his uncle used to say Something strange to him when they’d sit on the porch in a rocking chair And they liberated Themselves from The Sky I am no longer involved in any other activities How Did you Build the porch where you-two were sitting—but It makes me bored to death Again you want things but you don’t specify what they are I don’t Know what you want Me to You About It he finally Says Make Yourself Ready For More Questions. Certain Things that you’ve got just to bear they seem so funny But I am A Person So Full of Ridicule And I keep Lashing every tiny thing and I don’t know where You Are Certain Things Finally Came To a Stop it was time for that to be because I was tired of depending on Them don’t Worry about me abandoning you I Was Not really Going to He Says I was Just tired—who is the girl in The Picture He finally says for you to bear the same thing As Her—she was someone who could not control their life so the ate a bunch of things and they Bleed And they Choked And he ends up saying that he’s Going to go to a house to meet a Girl that looks like a woman—come On Guys This Is unacceptable—you just can’t smash things down like that—but around The Place That he knows That He Only Dreamt Of Because he Feared it so much He Realized That He Was There And There is a man who holds a rock and he stands on the Top of The building and Near the telephone Pole People were Trying To Fly He Thinks That is So Pointless Why Do They Want to do things like that, but death again Why Do you Think To Say Cum is unacceptable The First time I dreamt about the building I was hiding on an opening therein its roof I know you’re bored, silly and all around a pretty terrible person—is that all that I need to know—or you could possibly tell me more. The Next Building that he dreams of is not one that He fears But one where he was a long time ago and he was happy there maybe that is why he thinks about so much, don’t ask me anymore if I am mad at you it is a stupid question maybe there is some way that We Can Still Save Our Relationship The Time that he dreamt about sliding board Was There anything that Jessica Could Do to Dream about The Hippopotamus—I don’t think that she wants to dream about him anymore I am sure that she lives here and works here—I waited And I was So On edge that I crept on a Sheet Beneath my Lamp and I just used my floor as a pillow—but I did receive something from her that day it was good to hear from Her and the time That I had was great—I let myself Down by Being so attached It had Come to the point where I could not function Correctly Unless I heard from her—so therefore I had made a mess of my Life—this time I dreamt about Running down a street and my feet were bare and I saw Him again He Came up to me and Ask me How I felt And what I wanted to Do—I had to tell Him The Truth that I didn’t want to Come Back There With Him It is Stupid Question I mean For Him To Even Ask me if I Wanted to I have No reason to See or Talk to Him Anymore I don’t think that he Understands You That’s What Someone Else Says But maybe the question is Really What I wanted to Do I had to Tell Him That I should have said early that there was not too much that we had in common and I didn’t think that we should see each other Anymore Right then He Says that he was finally feeling Comfortable—People Do Care About Each Other it is hard though weeding out the ones that really don’t care—says Jessica Sometimes they’ll hang around for a long time and they’ll pretend that they’re friends Back to My House is Where I want to Go Says Jessica And I am going to Go there and sleep for as long as I feel like Sleeping—I was about to write you a letter But then I thought I didn’t Want to reform The Connection Well I wrote It Actually But I never sent it—I hope that is correct but I know it is ruined Now that I told you.
Fin Of Ten

“THE ENDLESS: dream of night.”

Dying—Act One—
Death Seemed To Bring to Mind The Image Of A carnival For Her. She Thinks that She Walks Through A Midway And People are Yelling On Each of The Sides of it. He didn’t Seem To Think of Death Like That—he thought of it As Going Blind And Being Hit—he remembered Being Struck Really Hard A Lot of Times And he Still Had Marks on his Back from When he’d Fallen recently. The Mark on his Left Shoulder Looks Like it Was Left By A Claw, Three Sharp Incisions That Dug into The Surface Of his Skin. No it Was Left By A Knife And it had to Be Drawn Over his Skin For As many Times As There Were Marks. I Wasn’t Tired But I couldn’t Keep My Eyes open When I tried to Look At Things It Seemed Like there Was no Point—I couldn’t Focus Long Enough To Bring Objects Together. I had my hand on My Forehead And I did See a Lot of Forms Separating To Some Extent So I guess that I could Call Them Things. My Friend Told Me To Give Up On People He Said Don’t expect them to Call And to Come through for you Because they’re Not Going to, at this point I believed Him—it seemed to be True As far As I could Tell. She is great! Isn’t She? He asked Me And I told him that I thought that she was A good Friend To Have.

Death Seemed To Bring To Mind The Image Of Bliss To Him He Wanted To Do it Really Badly To Himself And he… Thought it out… and He Wanted To Work up The Guts For it….. But fuck He couldn’t Do it Like that—Not Messy, there has to be another Way To Do it. He Thought that he’d probably Slit His Wrists And Let himself Bleed To death in his Bathtub—what was funny was That The Thing that Saved Him was Thinking about This Bad Novel That Somebody He’d Known had Written and how they’d Not Let Off Until He Read it. He did Read it, really He Did—he Read all of it, Actually, It Was Too Fucking Bad to even read—but he Felt Obligated Because He thought Of Himself Being In The Same Situation—if he wrote something Then He Would Want Somebody To Read Through It Too, So He Did it not because he Liked the Person Who wrote it or to make himself feel good but because He Felt As if He owed it To Himself—to prove to himself That He could Come Through. Shit, I Couldn’t Steer Myself Away From Thoughts Of Death—I really Wanted to Kill myself—and I looked for reasons to Do so. I Selected all of the Situations from my Life And I made it So in My Mind that they all went Wrong—and I thought Of The Pitiful Places I would be in when experiencing Their Outcomes Which I had Imagined Too, All right, This Was it Now all I’ve Got to Do is Work The Courage Up To Do Myself In Now I thought that Hanging Myself Would Be Good Though I did not Have A Strong enough Cord To Hold My Weight And I didn’t Feel Like Going Out To Get one—I still couldn’t Focus Right So I couldn’t Think of Where I would Go To Retrieve One—Then I figured That I Could Go Out to The Garage. My father Kept All Kinds of Things out There—worthless Objects—all I would have to do is Sift Through Them until I came upon something Which Was Suffice—perhaps I could Hang Myself With a piece of Extension Cord? A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Garage—I Fell Down. I hurt Myself Really Badly I Must Have cut My genitals On Some Rocks—I forgot What A Long Walk it Was To The Fucking garage…. I don’t Know—it hadn’t Been Through A Field Before So I didn’t Know why it Was Now—maybe There was A Better Way to Be Killed Then From Bleeding Out of the Genitals—The Criminal On the tape Talks About Killing me Too, He Says He thought The Best Way To Do it was to Smother me With A Pillow But He wasn’t ready For The Way That I fought Back—he says I hurt Him Pretty Bad—when I Threw him—I cut my Own Genitals Before…With A Penknife Actually I mean I Cleaned It first And then I made slits on My balls And I stabbed The Shaft of My Penis Too…. I can’t Believe How Badly I Bled—I tired To Stop it With a Towel But it Didn’t Do me Any Good—I ended Up Dying that Way I wouldn’t Have Figured On it But it Was Quite ingenious I concluded, there Could Have Been no Better Way to go Then Cutting Up My Sexual Reproductive Organs Then I thought that the image of Dying Reminded me of The Party—it was Fucking Stupid! I hated It, I wanted to Leave The Whole Time So I went Back In The Corner By Myself For A while—People—noticed Me though I Was Polite and everything But I Was Irritated By Talking with Them—so went I Upstairs to the bedroom And I Laid On The Bed, Took of my Pants and Looked At The Scars On my testicles To See if They’d gotten any Better, They Hadn’t.

The Grass Was Still Missing in The Area Where The House used to Be—after it had been torn down—there’d been plans to build somethingelse There but The Plans Never Really Panned
Out—Nothing Ever grew Again There Were Just A Lot Of insects Sometimes When the weather Was Hot—they All Festered in That Spot—they Fucked and Then Died Too…. Death made her Think Bugs, Of Her Skin Being Eaten. Are They Gone Yet? He Said In The Top Bedroom Of The House—She lifted Up A side of the Blinds And To See For Him—No She Said They’re Still there. These Men Were Walking around In the yard—They were Pounding on The door At First But Neither he or she wanted to Go Down—to see what they wanted—They’d Walked Around the Perimeter Of The House But they Saw that None of The Doors Were Unlocked—so They Left After a while—but they Were Looking Up At The House And they Probably Saw Her Peering out from behind the Blinds. They Left A note on Door That She Would Find Later. She And He Waited A while And Then They felt that it was Safe to Go outside—It was Late Afternoon And They Decided To Walk To Town Together—talking The Whole Time passed The Time So fast That didn’t Mind The Distance that They Had To Go.
Every Store Was Empty And The Streets Were Too—they Couldn’t Understand Where Everybody Had gone—the doors of The Shops Were unlocked They Found Out when they Went Up to Them. They guessed That If that’d Ever happened that they’d Go in and take What-ever they Wanted—but now that—that Was Really Happening—they Didn’t Feel Like Doing That—they Didn’t Want to Take Anything, they just wanted to find out where Everyone Had Gone. Behind The Bank—There Is A Path Made Out of Stones—And Dirt Is smeared all over them—it’s come off of Shoes—That’s The Path That Everyone had walked Up—To A Field That’s where they’d All Gone—every Last one of Them, A Big Rock Is There In The Field It Must’ve Fallen Out of The Sky—during the day everybody had heard a Loud Crash—and That’s When they Went to The Field—And That Stone Was there, It Hadn’t Been Before—There’s A Painting on it—It Is Just 3 Black Rings, a inner white circle And A smaller Red Circle Painted Inside Of it—When They Came To stone They All Killed Themselves—they Hoped to Make it Clear That They Didn’t Kill Each other—their last wish was for it to be apparent—that Their Wounds Were Self—inflicted—Even Funnier Was That Back In the Town That Was Deserted now, she and He Ended Up going to The Carnival—Pawing Each other on The Midway And Not dying, though—People Were Screaming In The Bedroom—And They said is he really Dead?

He kept begging for it. For his life He—pleaded For Them To Have Mercy On Him—they Stood Over Him—and They Held Bricks Right above his Skull, they were About To Crush it—To Separate The Skin And Leave The Bone Exposed—he asked me what’s Happened To My Arm? I don’t Know. They Have urges Too Even Animals Do—But He Couldn’t Control Them—He Was Tired Of Having to Move The carts In The Parking lot all Day—he Was Fat And His Face Was So Swelled Up—His Eyelids Drooped Incredibly And The Look On his Face never Changed—He Kept seeing another Man Who Was Horrible Too, He Was deformed—And The Expression on His Face Never Changed Either—He Kept Seeing Him Buying Pornographic Materials—always Women in Lingerie—and he Figured that he Cut The Pictures Out But he Couldn’t Imagine The Other Horrible Things—he thought That He masturbated To Pictures Of Little Girls Tied Up—their vaginas Were Dry But The Head Of His Cock Was So Wet—it is Easy To Lust After Women Who Would Never Want to Fuck You In Return—Always Rubbing His Groin With His Hand Down His jeans He only Had 3 fingers on it. At A Video Rental Store He saw A man Whose Face Was Horribly Scarred—Come From The Room Where All of The Pornographic Tapes Are—what horrified Him More Was Very Old Men Who Rented Them—the Thought of Them Masturbating to These—made his Skin Crawl—but What Else could They Do Since their Sex Lives Were Over. He Was Friendly To This one Man who Always Came in and Got Them—he just had to Block-out What He Was Doing with Them…. Congratulations! You Are Now An Addict of Pornographic Material—he Must Have Thought. But he Tasted Mud A Different Time When He Was Thinking about Murder—she Looked Like A Doll—or like a Ghost—somewhere In between Both of those actually…. He kept begging for His Life Even though he had not made much use of It Yet. We’re All ready Die They Must have thought—he couldn’t think of What it must’ve been like to Feel That Way... He Wanted To Go On But to Really Do Nothing—he couldn’t figure out why He Even Wanted To Live Any Longer—just Fester Here; I Was Glad Though when He Killed Himself I hated Him, all right I admit it—but I can’t Believe it—I would not Have Thought that I would have Disliked Him so Much.

As if she Were Doll—Her Face Painted White—black paint around her Eyes And Wrapping eyelashes—Her Very Red Lips, they were Pristine—The Moon Beat Down, it was Full and it Bled Out over The Evening—she came down to kiss his face Near The Stone where Everyone Had Died before—she asked if they’d died in this spot and he Answered Yes—Dogs start Panting And then they want to Fuck—There Was Blood From The Asshole—and he Licked It With His Tongue—He Smeared Excrement On The Stone That Rests In The Field where The mass—suicide Had occurred, he smeared His own shit in The painted Circle—and then He Made Cuts into His Wrists. When she Saw The Blood She Wanted To Throw-up—it was Disgusting—but she Crouched In circle Too, without any clothes But her Face Was Still painted Now it seemed as if she were A Ghost—didn’t it? When Clouds Came Across The Moon—making its Brightness Less Distinguishable; I hated him once before But I Loved Him Now and I acknowledge The Fact that I Need him. He Hates Anyone Who doesn’t Acknowledge The Fact that They Do and he Wants To hurt Himself Even More—it is Never Them that he wants to Hurt.
It is as much your decision as it is mine—she says to him when she holds his face—and the clouds pass on And the Moon Is Bright Once Again. He couldn’t Decide What to Do—now he didn’t really have time to But he Knew that he wanted to be held as he died.
Fin Of Act One

The Stars Disintegrate Tonight, all of our relationships Become More Serious When We’re Called To Attention On Them. I don’t Have A Death Wish he Thinks, He Saw The Priest’s Dog Run away Remembers that he left it out But is This Anyway To Talk to Children. The Boats Are Turned On Their Stomachs And he Sees The Holes That Are Rusted in them. Jessica Ties A Yellow Ribbon Around her Neck—Before She Leaves On her Horse—She rode Past Where Dead Birds Were Nailed Into A Tree and their Blood Was Freshly Running against The Bark—Then The Grass Shifted into Barren Dirt As She Rode On—There Was Nothing Just a Few A Streams Which She Crossed on The Horse—She Didn’t Know what She Was Riding into Or Why She’d Started On This Journey; Coming Back To Me—this is Who This is supposed To Be About—I have Nothing To Say For Myself That’s My Problem—Surely There Must be A Way to Introduce Myself As a character Without Relying on a Method I have Used in The Past. I Am Stuck because I am not sure what that Should Be—Are There Really Any Stories Left For me to tell about myself?
Any Rainy Day You’ve Got to Use Something To Make Yourself Happy Says Jessica, Even Though She Said that she didn’t Know what That Is. The Floor has automobiles Behind Glass Cases And Light So that The Curves Of Their Craftsmanship Are Brought to Attention—It’s A Gallery But there is no—one in It—But She Walks Through—and Notices Kittens In Some of The Corners Tearing Newspapers Up. The Gallery Of Cars Last Awhile Until She Comes To A Room where She’s Able to See Through The Floor And See What is Below Her—She Sees Piles Of Books Stacked Very High And Also Miniature Castles—There Towers Were Cleverly Ready To Penetrate Her if She Would Fall Through The Floor—I don’t Fall Through, I Go Out into The Street Where All of The People are and Then I Blend Into The Crowd—I waited On The Corner To Catch A Bus—and I Paid The Fare When I Got On—and I stood up while I Was Riding on it—I hate Buses, I never ride on Them. He Asked Me if I want to walk Up town And I am Not Really Sure if I Want to—Only If we’re Going to Meet Jessica—We See Her Standing there Near The Next Bust stop We’ve Not got time to Say Anything To her Before She Gets On The Bus—My Foot Has become Deformed—The Skin Is Twisted on The Top of it So it Resembles A Face In A way—he squeezes the skin Together Sometimes To pretend that the face is moving its Lips. They Went to The Same Boring Bar and He Told Him Things About Misery—They Didn’t See Jessica There So he Went Off Looking For her.
We come from
A Very Pure Race
Purer He Thought
Am I better Than some of These People
But I will break Ground that is New
He Rides His Horse Along The Road to
The House Always before His Family
Has Parties, the guests Have To Stop their Cars
So Not To Startle The Horse
The Two Of Played In The Dirt and One of Them Picked Of A
Board That He Thought He’d Smash Toads With, He Ends up smashing Ants—The Nonstop Kitten in The Background Keeps
Clinging Onto The Table Trying to Pull Down a Wire With Some Sticks Fastens to the End of it. Is he The Kind of Child You Can Be Proud of?… He Didn’t Think of That Before—didn’t think about it now actually Either—The Turned Over On A Sharp Turn—it just didn’t Take It Correctly—Broke Through The Guardrail And Rolled Down The Hillside
Banging Against Rocks—All He Thought about Was Escaping And now he Had His chest Sense At That Point it Seemed Like no one Else Had Lived—The glass Near the Window where He’d Been Sitting Had Been Smashed—The Bus Had come to a Stop and Then rested on its Roof—He made his Way Out and saw that his Hands Were Still Bound—He Smashed The chains On Some Hard Rocks—broke Them And Stumbled Off. There Was A wound on his brow And as it Bled It Ran Into His Eyes—and Worse Was The Sweat That Formed On his Brow And How It made its way into The Wound—and stung horrible—he hoped to Come Along a Stream Soon—He ran over Rocks that Became Sharp And More Threatening And splashed In The Puddles Of Muck Around and in between them—We Come From A Very Pure Race—She Thought So how Would She Have Anticipated it If She’d Have Known That She Was Going to encounter him—When She Saw Him first He was Unconscious Near A Stream, his Clothes torn—and The blood on his Face Was Not Becoming a Crust—she was Frightened At First—But Out of Compassion and Curiosity—she Got Down From Her Horse—He She Stood Above Him—and looked At Him Laying There On The ground—They Were both Startled When He opened His Eyes Up—he wondered if maybe he’d Died After All When The Bus Came Off The Road—He Didn’t try To Hurt her, And he Didn’t Seem Threatening At All To Her either—She Knelt Down Next To him—She Had A Rag With Her In some of The Bags That Were Attached to The horse—She Soaked it in The Stream And Wiped Some Of Flakes Of Blood Off Of his face. He told her he’d Been In Accident Some ways Back—and She Asked Him if he wanted Her to Go for help and if anyone else had been hurt—he told her No—and She Understood in Way—That if she did it would be in his worst interest.
So We Went off looking For Her
Because She Never Arrived At The time
That She Told Us that She Was Going to
Arrive—He And I Walked Up The Vertical Streets
And We Saw People that we Used to Know in some
Of The Shops They All Asked Us Where She was
And why she wasn’t With us
But Neither Of Us Knew what to Say.
She crawls Into The Spot Behind The Refrigerator, she is small enough to squeeze herself in there and She Thinks that it is Still the Best Place To have a Private Conversation.. I waited in The Living-room For her, With The People We’d Met When We walked Up The Street Together—I Tried Not To listen too Close To What She Was Saying on The telephone—because it was none of My Business any ways Because of where she’d Positioned Herself It was Hard to Make Any distinct Sound Out as Well—In the Living Room They Kept Offering Me Sweets But I turned them down and I hoped that she’d be done talking Soon So We Could Go—when she was done and we left, we walked out the Door But We Were no Longer in the Area We’d been in when we’d Entered The House—this alarmed Me But I didn’t Say Anything Since She Seemed Not To’ve Noticed—I asked Her What She’d Talked About—but she avoided The Question and She Only Wanted To Talk about The Tree Branches which were Starting to Droop towards The Ground—their Tips Could Almost Brush against The Dirt—Do You Notice That She Asked me—And I said Yes Something About it really Affected Me Too.
Everyone Loves The girl—Can You See That Train Burning Up there? The Battle Was Fought In The Wetlands—Men Rolled By On Little Boats and I saw Bodies Floating—back in his apartment He has a picture Of 2 boys squirting water at each other in their underwear—they’ve got dark skin and The Sun is very Bright The Contrast Is arousing to Him. She’s says I can’t think of anything That involves pedophiles Because I think of them getting me when I was a little girl or them Going after my younger Sister—it never Happened The Battle That Was Fought in The Wetlands Was not Fought for love but so we can survive—The Track which gets me home is on an old downhill that some people will probably be Living I must go even if they must toss things at me—A Traincar Waits At the Bottom to Be Boarded By Anybody Who Comes Down the Hill—there Were Boys Wearing Hats Made From Raccoons But they too occupied At Killing Bugs to want to fuck with me So I Hurried Down the Hill—to board the Traincar—I took A Seat In The Back—there’s A Girl In A Short Skirt A Low Cut Blue Top And She Has Got Long Brown hair She Comes Around To Serve Us Drinks—She Sits In The Seat Directly in front of me and is facing me—At Moments She Doesn’t Really Say To Much—But she Drops her Lip and She Lets The Pupils In her Eyes Disappear One Moment They will be gone and then they’ll reappear In Several Seconds—my hand touched hers when I took the drink from her that she offered me then I knew that I was in a theater Here Was a Situation That I was Always In—in the Balcony Of A Cinema And An Unattractive Woman Wants To Kiss me Or Rub Up Close To Me—I always leave the theater But then I go into another theater and No Matter where I take A Seat That Same Woman is Sitting Next To Me. She Says Can You See that Train Burning Up there I agree But I don’t Know what she’s Referring to I Don’t Honestly See any Trains Burning Up. We Opened I Suitcase over The Pavement, water Poured out of It—And So did A Small Alligator Which became A man As Soon As it Was Exposed on The Pavement For A few Moments—I was a little Nervous I had to Explain to Them That It was My Father—See I said He Likes To Turn Into an alligator And get into Water At Places…. But Sometimes He Refuses to Turn Back and when he fails to Cooperate I have to Put him in Some Kind of Holding Box Full of Water And Then Try to Talk to Him while he’s in there—try to Talk him into Changing Back. It wasn’t a Rosy Sky For Him—I mean My Old Man, or at least he told me He had a Mean Old mother—She Sprayed meat On her Walls And Wear A necklace Made Of Skunk Holes---he became an Alligator in The First Place So he Could Get away From her She Was Adverse To Water And He Loved To Swim So He Couldn’t Think Of Any Better way to avoid Her Capture. Then There was Philip On Old Browning Road—he Keep Rats Enormous Ones In Cages and he Complained Me and he said that my Father Had Stolen And Killed Some of His rats—he said he found them Cut in Half and the slime of Their Innards Was About. I didn’t See My father ‘til a long time after The Alligator Incidents Had Went Their Worse Way—he had not wanted to Talk to Me Or Call Me—I just Some Him Once when I was Getting off Of A Bus and Looked At me And Said Do you See the Trains Burning up In the Sky, Damn it What the Hell Could he Have Meant, I didn’t think That I would ever Find out but I Did. When We were Crossing over The River To Home in The Train Car And I was distracted By the Girl’s Pupils The Car Caught Aflame—Well Something had happened in the engine to Cause the fire—after it was put out we were Just Stalled There On The Track waiting for someone to come and Rescue Us—I watched Her Do that Trick with her eyes for a While Longer—And then I looked Out of One of the Windows and I saw A Shape Moving in The Water Below Us—It must Have Been An Alligator Probably My Father Could He Have had A premonition—at least from his Point of View There was a Train in The Sky On Fire—I made another phone Call This time after I crossed A Bridge and I saw a Woman and a Child Sleeping with A Bunch of Dogs—I called The Police And Told Them Not because I wanted to Have The Woman Arrested or Anything But Because I thought Someone Might attack her and her Child. I was Going to Be Kissed Again by the ugly Woman In the Theater She Says Don’t You Think I am Telling you The Truth—before she Could Kiss Me I saw another Woman Walk down the Aisle Whose Skin Was So Wrinkled That It Seemed As though It Were Transparent to Me—Like I Looked Through her eyes ‘cause she’d been beautiful But This other woman Who Was So ugly Had her Tongue Down My Throat—and her fingers in My Hair—she Said if you’re Going to Have a Fit Then Don’t’ Swallow your Tongue I will do it for you….. This isn’t Cool Or Funny I began Thinking I have to Get out of this theater—So I Walked Out on To the Street But It Was So Bright Everything Like the Blindness You experience When you’ve been sitting in a Cinema For Hours and Now you’ve Got Your First Brush With Daylight—I tried to Keep the Sun From Blinding Me But I got Stopped By the First Man You Know. Jessica Helped Him From the Ground And she Said that she’d Take Him To safety—though he Was At first adverse To Riding on Horseback in Moments He Decided that there was nothing Else that he could Do so he Climbed Up next to her And he Enjoyed Gripping tightly Around her—he Thought She Was So Thin that he Could’ve Broken Her in Half All he would have to Do was Squeeze Harder—but his thoughts were Drifted from that as the two of them Rode Harder towards The Falling Sun—they Wanted To Leave The Forest Before The Entirely Fell and The Path they were on was Swept out from underneath them. I can’t believe that these are all memories Now—These Houses, these People, these Places that I went In My Life Now they’re just things—things, things, Things—I don’t Know what to do with them I must figure out how the Fit into Some Place in My Life—They’re still bright they’re Not Fading But they’re not Blinding Either—One of them is being kissed For the first Time—now I regret that because the back of my head was Pressed into Mud—Cutting of the Apple Was Like The Penetrating and Entrance of an Orifice—When The Dismantled The Clock On The Kitchen Table She Stuck her whole Hand Up My Ass—and I Had To Lick Her Sex In Return—there was This Gunk And Juice that I saw For the First Time—When She kissed me She Held My Hair Tightly In her hands Almost Pulling on it And Forced My Skull into Rock And Then Covered My Entire Face With her Mouth.

Which one of these houses do you live in? She asked me, I didn’t want to say—Nice Little Things Dissolve—a different world will show you new places—invite the other one over to have a meal. The first time I heard her name said she was wearing a Long Dark coat—I saw The Back of her, her Blonde Hair Was dirty—the next time I met her, She wasn’t who I thought that she would be—there were a bunch of Old Women the Camera Was Scanning Across them and they all were being interviewed They Said that they Belonged to The British Legion—they’re ladies of Political Persuasion. I met Her in The Living Room and we Shook hands—she was Surprised When She Met Me—I wasn’t Who She Thought I would be either—maybe we Can Take a Walk Somewhere—she said no one is going to See Us—but I said why Do You Care? She Said They Can’t See Us…. No one Can. It was Like No-one wanted to See US / How long Have We Been Riding He Asked Jessica—A Long Time She Thought But she didn’t Answer—he clutched her Tighter It Would have Really Been Lonely if he Would Have Rode By Himself. He Remembered Back When A Piece Of Skin had to Be Stretched in Four Directions So The Hole in the center of it Opened AS Wide as Possible…. And Then An Oval that Was Connected to Many Different Pipes—layed On a Steel Tray—With Fluid Lapsing Underneath it.. He Felt a Dull ache In His Testicles And He Reached Down To See what it was and he Discovered A Lump there He Panicked At First—then he decided that maybe it was Just a Third One. He Didn’t Need to Worry As Much, but he needed To masturbate As Much as Possible—he Massaged His Penis Until The Come Jolted out, he Caught it in a Little Cup And He Drank From It—slurped it Down Really Fast—You’re Allowed to Attend Too, surprisingly They’re all Dressed in Normal Clothes—and the Stood Very Close to One another—they Chant Indecipherable Words As He Stands Near and Altar Drawing Stars—The Woman He Came And Layed Down to Be the Altar Was Far From chaste—she Was Actually Well-aged—He Had Her Urinate into a Cup—That They’ve All Got to Drink From—little Stars: There were Little Stars on Jessica’s Shoulders Someone had Put theme There Badly With Ink—He Smelled The Sweat That Was Falling Over Her Back As they Rode Even faster Now. We Found old Soldiers Who were Not Griping and Going on—these men Said there Was Nothing at All that They Didn’t Like. Then we Wondered if you Could Tell Us How Many People That You Figured Had Roughly Died—Then It Came Back Again The Skin Was being Pulled Apart With So Much Force That there’s an Immense Pain—Not The Worse He’s felt but the Worst in a Long time—Which Do You Recommend Tell Me How I can Relieve This Pain and I’ll do it He Said—He just Has To Lean Over Something Solid And brace Himself—and the Harder that the Skin is Pulled The More Fluid He’s about to Lose—when he Lays Down his Heart is racing So Fast that he Felt As Though he were Going to Die—He Was Surprised that he Was Scared at That Point. All of those time that he Said that he'd Wished He’d of died—right now At This Moment He Regretted that he’d said that—now he Realized that he’d not meant It—or maybe he did But If he was going to Die Then He wanted it To Be on His Own Terms It was his Life to End—not God’s Will that Should end it… But how Could he Bring God into This—him have all people, when he’d Sworn that he Did not Believe… Maybe He lied about that Too? Assert your present Rank, sergeant Or assistant Sergeant Man of Colors it is An old Saying When you enlist—6 months, but hold the Expression—how fast were They Going now on The Horse—it is Like the Were Riding him into His Grave—but they crossed Over The Last hill and They Were Out of The Woods He Didn’t Clutch Her Back As Tightly He Needed to let Go for a Second to Stretch his Arms—but As Soon as he Let go that was the second Right There When He Fell off—and Impacted Hard On The Ground. Who Is the Boy On the Stage Now He Takes Sticks Between His Teeth He Bits Hard Then another Man Who wears A Gray Coat Stands Right Next to him and after the boy has bit as hard As he Can Down on The sticks the Man takes Them From His Mouth—and Looks And Sees Which Ones Have Got the Best indentations—She didn’t Notice For A Moment That he’d Fallen—that He was No Longer Holding onto Her—she kept riding and Then She stopped Her Horse and She Turned him around And Rode Back, retraced The Steps They’d Just Taken Just Moments ago—sure enough he was Laying There, Choking on his Blood—he Wondered if he was going to die and He Thought that it was Ironic that He’d Survived The Mess Of the Bus turning Over—and Now here he was Dying while he lay on The Ground, haven Just Fallen. There Was Chaos in his Head and he Couldn’t even Tell what Jessica Was Saying To Him as She Was Standing above Him—There Was Just pounding In his Head and He Kept thinking of These Soldiers Who were Standing Around Talking For a minute they Were Young and Then a Second Later they Were old men. What Did they Do for Privacy, what did they do when they all got so tired of Living together—he wondered. Then he thought why did he care, he’d never been a soldier So why was He Wondering About them And Why Did he Care About their Conditions of Living….. but He Knew Wanted to Distract Himself From the Pain he Felt—his whole Back Was Just Like a Blotch to him Now—he’d lost What it had Felt Like before As Soon as he’d Fallen Off—an evening of Life In Independent Retirement Was that What he Thought of The Soldiers At The Points in his Head When he visualized them as being Old but still being With One Another? Hundreds Of days And Hundreds Of Men—he saw Them all die in his Head and He Thought it All through and This Had All only Been a Few Moments—Jessica Was Gasping now She Tried to Lift him Up, to move him out of The Spot—but she was unable too—He Thought about The Matadors—in his Mind He Saw Them Slay Bulls and He Thought Again About His Skin Being Stretched And He Came Down On his Jaw—he Remembered—Between Some Plants—Someone Entered him From Behind, he Was On his Stomach on a Cold Table Top—and There Were Other people there Who Were Cheering as He Was Being Violated—He Saw A Sketch of a Matador On The Wall While he Was In fear and he wondered Why This Bull Fighter Was A Woman, who is right himself or The Crowd—why did they Hurt Him—the Girl’s Lifts Him Up, or she tires to—if she Knows His Name Then Why Doesn’t He Know Hers—not Jessica But Somebody-else—there are Red Curtains, Bright Red… You Can Bank on That—believe that they’ve Always Been Hanging There He Wondered if he Was Still her Friend she Said Yes---they Had Never Made love Like this before—sitting Up She Came Right Down and she Fit Her Vulva Right Around his Cock—the Way that They would Move Would Determine How his Cum Would Flow—and The Same Could Be Said For hers. The horns Locked Close and he Gained Many Pounds that Way—but there weren’t Any Men that he was going to Join in Death—he Would have to Die Alone—Aren’t These Shirts Beautiful He Heard a Voice Say—it seemed Honest and Kind but then he was in an infirmary—and he was Being hurt again—when he looked out through bars he Saw Most Of the Small Boats Helping the Bigger Boats Come into The Harbor—Make No mistake as the central Figure of this Spectacle He Must escape Somehow—but How Does Move Through Everyone—now they’re assorted and They’ve Got Different Tactics—all of their Expectancy Is Overwhelming—If he Planned on Really Getting Out of Here then he would Have needed A Plan—too late for that He’d Not Had One—he Must get away from this Extreme Situation of Discomfort. It Was So Easy To Cum—with another Man—they Jerked Each other Off and Their Cum was All over Their Laps—He Remembered That Now he Wanted to fuck a Female but that Took Sheer Courage And Skill and He Couldn’t Bear the Fact of vaginal Penetration So He Asked if he Could Enter Her From Behind She Declined Him and insisted that she Must Be entered Directly From the Front—But he could not Maintain his Stiffness His Cock Fell Limp—he had to Jerk Himself Off later that night when he Wanted to Cum so badly—They All happen Here—he said and he Sent Letters to managers Of Bull Ranches and he Asked Them Why they Were All Breeding these Creatures Just so they could face their Deaths Soon—Masturbating When their Was a Thunderstorm Was as Essential to Him As A Hotdog At a Ballgame—They owners of the Ranches Sent Him Back stickers With Smiling Faces—that he Snorted Millet off of. He has a Good Hand For it he Thinks, but only For Taking men, he Fumble Everywhere When he Tried to Take on Girls—Now the Bull Enters The Bit And a Red Circle Comes Down around it, three other small Rings come And Lock onto it—He Thinks that he Has been in The dark After he Kissed her and He jumped off of a Boat—He Fell Right in water—I Will escape He Thought But it all depends on the Knowledge that I Gain.

He sat like he was A Child and he Slapped their hands and he shook his head and he Made A Really Stupid Face. I have Seen him So Many Places But he Seems Like a Fucking Jerk—I won’t Fail you He Says I must Come Through—nothing Bothers Me There is Nothing that I cannot Promise To myself—then waking up In Grass—that Grew Over Him—he knew their would have to Be Hills That He would have To Walk Over—I must Hold Onto Myself. Why Do I care Again He Thought as he Wanted to Die And he was ready to Let himself Die…. It’s all in your mind If you think there’s trouble then there Probably Will be—it’s all about what you think—a lot of Dark Spaces Where Maybe there was Nothing but maybe there Was Something waiting there. He was Sure that Streams of Color Where Not Going to Shoot out of Them In Fact He Never saw Any Bright Colors anymore There were None Here they’d All slowly Muted And then they’d Ceased completely—The Stone: He Remembered He had Come From there—it Seemed Like, Back when the whole town was deserted he remembered that Time—when he Walked With her And It didn’t Seem Like it Had been a Long Time….. It hadn‘t been A Long time But the Dirt had already started taking their bodies It Hid Them In The Grass At First—but everything Was Tested For Precautions At First—all of this danger had to Be Taken Care of—but it Grew Over Him as Well and He Started to Not Care—then his hands hurt they Just Ached For days—and he Lay Them Down On A Red Piece Of Wood and waited for Some Kind of feeling to come Back into Them. It would just be a While Before The Feeling Came back into Them—when he Had Them Open And he Could Feel Nothing it was Like He Had no Kind of Power over himself—but nothing Was Frustrating Either When He Couldn’t Have Power Over Anything, he didn’t Need any. There Were Ships and Streams Of Color That They Flowed Through—sails, he saw—Those Boats Moved Incredibly fast he Could See as he Got Closer To Them It Seemed Like The Water Wasn’t Full of Them But it Still Wasn’t Short For them—he Wanted to Jump right into The Colors And When he thought about doing that it Wasn’t Hard. To really Do it Would have Been Something Else—He Worked On small Parts of His Idea By Himself For A while He Thought that He could Have It Done—he Walked Over A Bridge And then there Weren’t Any Boats—it Was night—he Walked over the broken cement And He Saw The Yellow Staircase That He Had To Walk Up to Get Back to Where The Cars Went Bye—but It Was Really Dark and he Couldn’t Figure that out either But someone or other was waiting Down near the Yellow Steps and They Held Onto him as they Talked About Nothing—but he couldn’t Figure it out Still and He Wondered how the Boats had disappeared So Fast And How The Colors Had Left The Water. He remembered saying, I think, that he wouldn’t Wonder any more about The Boats But that Was Just a Lie that he told to the steps—They Kind of Had A Power Over Him Since they Shook and Assumed their own Pauses—you’ll be surprised to hear this, He Screamed out at them To Shout Back They Threw Blades Of Grass—but those fell To His Feet and they Were Just Weeds That Had Been Chewed Up—they were Cud—now—And the boats Lay Deceased in A Shipyard—he had lied when he’d said that it didn’t matter to Him What happened to The Boats He Said that he only Wanted to See her But Now When he Layed Down here Near The Birds He Wondered What She’d think if he was Just Going to Kill himself—he walked Through Everything Part of What Seemed Like it Had Been Alive Once—now there Were Just The Remains Of The Buildings He wanted to Say that everything looked Dead But he heard that You Get Killed in here for saying that.

If The girl before you had been cut-up then you’d resemble her but now everything is in a different Place—all of the way out her on the ridges and he has to wait while he rides into Town. The two of Them Left that Night In Rain but it Wasn’t Very Late Actually He Wondered if she’d ever rimmed anybody before—and it didn’t seem to pleasant to her to see somebody’s asshole staring back—but Her Sex is where he wants to Be—He Says Please Open Your Vagina For Me! They’re Skeletons and Believe me it’s no joke—they come Through The air and I think there is a Cloud Exploding Behind Them And they Don’t care about what I do—they talk So well together I see that they don’t need me I guess that I would just seem like the outsider—he Remembers Going Up to People Before But it didn’t Seem So hard—what if it was all a Dream Completely.. That Would be a Funny Surprise But he is Sure that it is Not As He lays in Puddle Bleeding Well there wasn’t A puddle Before but All the Blood Formed One. If you See Him die Say Hello To Him for me—he says and he turns the boy away and He Sends Him down the Wooden Steps There are only about 3 of Them And they Go off of The Porch The Boy Continues out of the Yard—he says That We Just wanted You to know how much we liked your son—But he Doesn’t Care Though Even Though He is gone—if it Doesn’t Matter to Him Then it Doesn’t Need to mean anything to Anybody Else….. Once you’ve gotten used to being on the Boats You’re Not afraid anymore There is no fear To Have You Think sometimes about Falling into The Water But you Know that it Doesn’t Matter at this minute you’d Just think about It When it Happens—He Continued out of The Yard—and Down the Lane—He Fought A lot Later In A Shack—he Lay on The dirt Floor and Had Rifles under Both arms… he was ready to Clutch The Trigger—He Looked At their Feet From the Crack Under the Door… he could tell when the shadows peered Through and they Obscured The Sunlight—Then he Fired And He Heard some of Them Scream and he heard Bodies Hit The Dirt Really Hard—he wanted to Run Out shooting Firing his guns off that was the only Way that he Get out of their Alive But he figured that Seemed Ridiculous When more of Them Surround The Shack—what Could he Do He May as Well Blow it up or something He Would rather See His Life Ended By Himself Than By Them—We Didn’t Want to Have To Redo anything in The place But when we got there The People He Had been there Before Us they Had been Gone For so awful Long, But they Didn’t Get to Anything.. The First night that they got there He Fell Ill and He Lay On The Couch, his ears Had Blood coming out of them and everything that he heard Seemed to Echo. It’s Like my Shadow that I see and I try to Step On—he stood Barebacked By Red Poles And He Fastened A Jumprope Around them He Used it To raised himself up in Down in a Place that they Called The Trees—he never told her that he liked Her But She Must Knew When she helped Him out Later She Found out Of All of the Creatures here; it is Like they’ve Turned From Animal into man and then they’ve Changed Back Again But Not Quite Some of The Hogs Still Have Human Legs and So the Deer and they Squeal as if they’re in Some Horrible Pain and it echoes In his Head and He wants to Make them Feel Better he Wants To Free them from the Pain they’re Feeling—They Surround The Shack, he doesn’t Fucking Care—at all and he goes Out Shooting He Can’t See Through Some of The Thick Smoke—leaves are blown Around And he Feels Like the Boy Who Stepped down from the Porch again as if he Were The one That Dreamt it all. The Street ends there, where the old yellow Van Was Parked He Remembered Noticing that Some of its Doors Had Been Removed In fact there Was only one Left But Now Since the others were gone and he could see that there was nothing inside there seemed to be no point of Opening up the door that was Because Now It Didn’t Hide Any Surprises. He opened it however and he was in the pit With The Pigs And Deer they Wailed even harder in Pain—So Loud that they numbed His Ears and he Heard nothing He Saw There Like Images That Were Burnt In But were Slipping out somehow too—He Thought I Stop This Pain and Close all of the doors once again—but he Had No Luck he was Stuck there in the Swirl Smoke And The Gun shots He must Have Felt The Bullets Burning in His Skin—He Wanted To Scream And He Was On fire—The Alley However Was There and The Yellow Van And it had all of its doors so he hid inside it and Lock them So No When Could Get in there with him—but he found a Small Latch on The Floor Of the van when he was hiding behind the seats—he Opened Up and The Colors Poured Forth—the Brightest Most Gleaming Colors He’d Ever Seen All of those corners Where he’d Thought Bad things must have awaited were Brightened And now he Saw that There Was Only Vast Space in There On its On It Could Cause No Harm By itself—All of it Disturbed Him And he Wanted to Close Latch because he felt like he didn’t Like the Colors After he had let them all out But they Shattered The Van’s Windows and they Smeared Down the Sides Of It and they Bleed out in to The alley and they even washed down the Hillsides Before The Penetrate The Top’s Of Water—When he Got His hearing Back the First he Said to Himself Was O Come And enter Me—if only he’d have known Before that he Was Going to Speak those Words Aloud.

He Wakes Up and he tries To Put Pieces of His body together again—he holds half of himself in A blanket—Well the Pieces they’re are not fitting—“Marianne. Please Well Get.” None of them fit—he sees half of himself as a skeleton and He Masturbates To Orgasm, ejaculates on A Cutting Board and Sifts Through his semen With Dental Floss Soon Discovering Pieces Of Gold—the plants Can Defend themselves So Well that he takes Them out of the laboratory But it isn’t until He gets to The Cave Where He finds Marianne Somehow—her body had been petrified and She Was Wearing Some kind of Period Costume—holding stones in her Stiff Fingers. He finds himself to be the first great person that he’s ever Met Then How Come He Talks About Things that he Doesn’t Know. HE Ejaculates Again But then on the leaves Of Plants That Nothing Blooms On He sat around his house Not Wearing Any Clothes his Testicles were Like Ice But His Penis Had Warm Blood flowing Through it—though he still Decides to Rub his balls on her Labia After they are warm again—I am Tired of Smiling there is so much pain in my eyes When he invites himself.
After All he decided that he is done smiling and if everybody else is Seeing it Then he Doesn’t Want to. I don‘t believe that empathy Means As Much as experience But either one of them can turn you bad—see what they managed to Do—they made it so you really can’t talk about Your Own Life—maybe you’ve not wanted to—You Are, You Are From Me. Love is so undiscerning He really Finds out that he doesn’t like women at all—excluding the few exceptions He can’t think of anything that he has to Say To Them—there is nothing there; there was nothing to Say to Anyone—least You May Understand That he Sat And he Had nothing To Say—they lead us all to being regular—but he wondered about regularity and about Empathy—but They Didn’t Go Together either—He says that they understand So Much then why don’t they try To Save Him? I can’t remember what I was doing but I think that all of these things just fuck you Up—But I am not going to deal with it like that in fact I hate the common reaction of running away with something instead of dealing with it—Everything is Put Away—but there is still a lot of Hoaxing to Be Done—perhaps the whole Thing in Fact except for the parts that they really can’t Explain—you have to Run Down there While they Run down There Too—A Small Space Behind The Piano was where he Hid—after he’d bled as much as could below his Feet Then He Saw that he did not have a rag to wipe it up with—Those People that were really Fucking Stupid It was obvious you Could Tell really Easily—because they were the ones that even Lacked Gut reaction they Really Had Nothing to Say Back—it was Simply First But he Ends Up hating Them all and he Wants to Get Away From Them He never Wants to be there Again—it’s the Worst he says When you’ve got nothing to say To Them all That Was When he Knew he was in for it—I don’t Know but I think that they felt the same thing the same awkwardness maybe he thought it was something in Him—but just as well it May have been in Them—Everything Seems So far No Matter Where He Tries to Stand—all he Can See No Matters What he Looks at, Is A Great Distance—further than he can conceive of in His Head—Maybe What He Would have to Conceive of Would be Hate—he couldn’t Even Observe Anything Either—Then he Blamed Himself Again For Not connecting—he should have known that it was just someplace different It was When he found himself in a Situation Like This One That Was So Hard—They had all been to Him—he Nowhere to Run Even the Spot Under The Piano The Blood Just Flowed there So Thickly That He couldn’t Laugh and he couldn’t Fucking Be Bored Either—Was It years? It might as well have Been, When He Returned There However he was Startled to See That All of the same things as before were Still the ones that Remained Unsaid—I Will Never See Those Eyes as reach out from that Face—it was just Nothing He Knew Problem was All of These Spaces—but Now Time Had Continued All of The While He Still Had His Conception of It—but it didn’t matter Now if he said all of those things—they were so Unsaid That They May as Well have never been Dreamed Up—he dialed a number from Somewhere I thought and It wasn’t that he needed to Talk It was just a reaction that he remembered that Number—he put his fingers Along The Buttons on The Phone—but He Decided To Hang Up before he let it Ring—maybe He Used to wonder Why that space wasn’t there For Anybody Else—How Can it really Be Something that can’t Conceive Of—he Thought of More Roads That he Would Have to Venture Down.

Making things for himself allegedly Without the use of science, in front of his house He Has Got Huge Sails Tied Up In the wind and They’re Fluttering.. In The Wind—He Wants to Pull Them Down But they Get Torn when they scrape Along the side of The House—IT Doesn’t Matter it is unknown to Him now as are all of the animals…. Their Bones Are There—all standing up on A Separate Box Which is Filled With Dirt—believe that he Should Walk around and leave Water By The Boxes—as if He Were Wishing Good Things To The Bones—it is not unknown to him, however—the Level of Pain Which he Will have to Go Through to Get This All Taken Care Of—he has a separate Box that’s all Filled With Glass And Parts of The Bones which have Been separated From The Skeletons as a whole—are reflected in Some of The small Jagged Shards—There Are Wheels on all of the Boxes and He Pulls Them All As he Straps The Reins To his Chest—and Walks Along The Corridor—he’s Sure that he Is Unhappy And He Hates Science Even More Now—He Hates All of the animals Because their Bones are So Heavy and He Had To Pull Them So Far—And All The glass Started Sticking to The bones But After he walked around he Left The Boxes By The Water and He dropped The Reins Directly in The Grass. Allegedly wandering off without caring about anything—he is somewhere else and now he knows that it Matters and He Thinks of it In Relation to How the Life that he’s Living here Affects The Opinions of Other People He Wonders What They Think about Him And his life—But He Doesn’t Care And He Doesn’t Want to Be Compared To Anything Else Anymore—He Fills A Lot of Red Crates Up With Dirt And Sees This In Relation To How He Wonders About The Affects Of The Glass Cutting The Animal bones—Seeing It as Brittle And Then it Becomes dust. You Made A Bad Plan And the matter is still unknown to You And your level Pain—allegedly He is Accused of Leaving His Father But he doesn’t Need To be Compared To him anymore—you need to Give Those Things Back—rings of Color And Ribbons That Come Underneath The Circular Piece of Wood that he Sits on, it doesn’t Move Either Way But he Sits underneath of It—and The Ribbons Create Its illusion as They Move Underneath it—he worries about Plans And Schedules and How is Going to Correlate Things around what he is Doing in His Life—and in relation to What other People are Doing in There’s At First He Thought That He Didn’t Need Very Much of Anything…. And Wandered if He’d made a bad plan—but when The Small Ants Covered The Round Wood—he Quickly Got off of it when he felt them all over his skin—and all he could think about was meeting her—at moments his life is Nothing Without her and at other Points it Does Mean Something To him—He Felt So severely Sad that he couldn’t Figure Out what mattered And he felt like his Life Needed to Be Jotted Out On Paper For Him—he was tired of long Blacker Dark Days—he Got up and The Sun was Already Gone And he Decided there was something that he needed to Do About that. He Went to His Black Closet Door and Took Out a Red Ladder That He dropped vertically down through a gap—where water ran underneath—and right down there is another entrance—the door to the next place where he has got to be—he lodged the ladder quite well but he could still feel the water lapping up on him as he slowly scaled down it—to the next door and his feet were on the cement—he kicked the ladder into the water and he saw it swept away—He entered the Door—There was A Large Brown room with glistening Dark Finish—The Stuffed Corpse of An Eagle Hung down from the ceiling—he went In There and he Could No—one—there Were Two Blue Doors At The Other End of The Room, he opened Them and proceeded Through, steps leading up and another Set of Steps That Was Leading Down—he felt remarkably Calm and He found himself Able To Focus Rather Well—He Felt Like either Set of Steps Would take him to somewhere Of importance—He Went Down A set—and they Lead To That Spot Behind The Piano Where He had hid So many times—there was a Pile of leaves there In Place of The Blood He Put his hands in And Found A Small Red Boot That Must Have Belonged to A Doll, he Placed This in his Pocket—and Walked Out From Behind The Piano He Was Now In a Long Corridor And So Much Writing Appeared On the Walls—he Found A Magnifying Glass That Made Him Look Like A Skeleton When he Put his hands Underneath it—he Did Smile thought to See His Fingers Look Like bones.

He thought of the Time which he longed for when he could shrink his body so small that he was able to fit it underneath the piano—he wouldn’t need To Hid Anymore… If does then he’ll hide inside of The Piano he thinks that would be A Better Place To hide—there are not any rings on the door—luckily so he scurries off into his own mind—Has Got anything for himself?—it was self punishment all of The Things that he denied Himself of. One of The Sets Bones Got out of the box, it became huge and it jotted Right up in The Sky—and He Was Really Taken With it—he Saw it Trying to Tear Kites Down As Children Flew Them—Have You got anything else For me…..?… No the set of bones said back to him and he was alarmed by The amazing Size of its Teeth All of The Kites Were Hit Down So hard By Him He Didn’t Care—get the bones out of The Sky and Become Huge Yourself, grow right up there with them—he could not do that—so instead he used the ladder And Truth of the Matter was that he was more fucked up then he could have let onto—imagine this heat and How Uncomfortable He Felt he Didn’t Know how to get anyone’s Approval He Was Alarmed By Heat—boxed in all Day and the worst Thing is That You can’t Live By Your Own Free Will—here is the place which Boxes You In You Must Realize that you are Never Going to Be Happy Here—the Darker It Gets The More Severely Sad that You Become… It is Like a Good Luck Charm All of This Generosity That You Feel—everybody is only being Kind out of Pity—So What About her—where’s She Gone?… She is Not Here Anymore I wonder how you Feel About Closing that Chapter—and for yourself the Matter Becomes That You’ve Got To Get out of here too even if you don’t like her now—you did before and would she have wanted you to remain there? You must get out of here—you must find other things for yourself—you know what you want—to live freely, well here it can not Be Done—He Climbed Up The Ladder and He A very Smooth Hammer that he Was Going to Crush The Skeleton With He Would Have Get His Footing Right So As Not To Fall off—but he felt water Coming up on his legs and then he Fell In The Doorway Of the Room where The Bird Hangs—he ran through it—and He went through its other doors—this time going up a set of stairs instead of Going Down.

I do not need to know the names to remember all of these Children, he was thinking of the suit that he wore as he left one morning—it was yellow and its cuffs were orange—they more so ask you about yourself so there is nothing to worry about—there is no fucking joy! That is so much the end of all stories about him—a miserable wretch—but another dream where he woke having slept about fifty minutes and Thinking that it had been days that he’d been out for—he had a problem-- ..Guessing incorrectly…. Black Walls that will not be broken gently—and it was like he didn’t fucking care. He Avoided Everything Then he found a blanket on The Surface of the lake—It Was Still Floating and it had not sank. Soft Skin Sunk in—and the body was just in pure pain—the center of his back felt like jelly and it didn’t matter if he was propped up. If you saw What it really Was—then you would have ran—they all 3 stood by the edge of the lake—and they tried to dry the blanket after they had pulled it out but they couldn’t stand taking any time the smallest increment bothered them—it was such a hassle—he waded out in the water and he stood there holding onto a pole—and he realized he hated things being described by people As their Lives—that was meaningless to Him—for it to be described that way—he layed down amongst Shit—and he wanted to kill himself—he couldn’t Decide what he despised more his Weak limpid Body Or the Foul Odor which poured from Every Opening on Him The Streams Of Color Which were Spewed Throughout The Streets—he Tried to Dispose of them Quickly He Wanted To Get Ready For Death but he was still floating he’d not sank—he May have guessed wrong when he thought it was his time to Go.

“The Pride Near The Rhinoceros Home.”

A Minority—Chapter One. The Gravel Howling Hand—Lightly.
Hoof Deprived of The Blocking That Was gathered From Cement—the air hose Bit Off The Tiny End… Of The Grass Black Chanteuse. We all sing for The Air in the Club—for the halt and the pale Speaker And The Mortification When wisdom does not have a pretense… I bit off More Than I could Chew With People that I could depend on… Said Ezekiel He Stole the Passport From Out of The Envelope—the Music Was Sad And We Came Through The Tunnel…It’s So Dim Inside, the air is Fresh And cold… And it runs up and Down on Your Skin—Glass Slithers Rub on Feathers… And there’s An impossible Bridge to Reach The End Of.
“The Light, The Light!”… Exclaimed Dora When She Was Shaken awake in her Bed… There Were Robbers…She thought that the house was being Robbed.. She Heard Footsteps And Screamed For Serge To Put the Light On—Rays Cast Red When they Came out of The Round Emeralds On the Lamp’s Top.
“I Love You!”… Exclaimed Daphne Zorn … as all of the snow was melting on the lawn…. The One Snowman that had been left Sitting there.. Was Melting Slowly into a Pile of Mush…And Its Carrot Nose Had Turned To Rot—and its Arms Had been Strapped on With Wire—there was a cage around the snowman’s Head And It Held A Magic Wand… It Melted Down and its Slush Ran over Rotten Leaves—there Was An Illustration Of The Last Supper On Daphne’s Wall… And All That She Wanted Too.. Was The Self—illustrativeness Of It.
“You Should Know what it has to offer me.” She Exclaimed To Herbert As He Sat Next To Her in Bed He Had A Candycane Colored Staff That Jotted Up From where His Erection Should Be—it Spurted A Catherine Wheel.. Then it Burst Like The Greatest Roman Candle When forced into the Hollow Frailty Of The Diving Bell.
“Fight Bad, Fight Bad”…. Exclaimed Daphne As She Ran her Hands Over The staff And Gripped The base Of it With Her Smaller Fingers And Soon the Sparks Were All In-between her Knuckles—when snow Fell Fresh A Few Days Later After The Temperature Had Dropped, There Were Hoof Marks All Over The Roofs Of The Houses… In The Lot... And Some of Them Led Up to Daphne’s Door. They Just Started Where The Snowman Had Melted…. And then they Came Slowly Up to the Door And it Looked Like Very Small Steps Had Been Taken. This Frightened Daphne Very much And She Decided To Break an Egg open And pour the Yoke Onto a Crown Made Of Red Cherries—and Green Leaves—she wore this on her head.. And then She Fell asleep Watching A Clock tick Heavily.
“A Red Stool Was Hidden Behind The Door And I just Had To take it out—I remember in the Summer When The Lawn Was Fresh That I put The stool in the Spot where The Snowman Had Been And Then I Followed The Hoof Marks Up To The Door…And I Sprayed My Urine On The Steps.” A Goose Emerged from The Puddle of Piss And Its Wings Flubbed Away The Stench—and the Goose Exasperated More Possibility And Then With All its Might it Wedged Its Feet into The Screen Door and it let out a Squeal And that Made Daphne Come To The door.. She Was Wearing A Long White Dress…And She Looked Horrified When She Saw The Goose Lodged in the Door Seam—she began to pry It loose And it Fought to Free itself Too As She Was Doing This—and she Let it Go Onto The Yard It Ran Under The Red Stool And Disappeared—Daphne Menstruated On The Porch Steps on The Spot where The Goose Had Fluttered Out of The urine Pool. Let them crawl out of the wooden bars when they’re still trapped in The Cracks—do you think that None The Less It Means Much To them. Now We’ll Need Nothing Else.
A country Illustrative Of Myself But It Does not fear me Or Neglect My Presence, It means Much Less To me then there’s the Key of What it meant Before Time To Believe me That I wished You The Best Hope. I Am not Disappointed in myself As Much As You Are.. Disappointed in Yourself No More Need for Crying Out Daphne Put On A Blue Sarong And got in her Car And Was on Her Way To The Grocery Store, However Light Came Through Her Windshield And Then The Azure And A Circle Of Flowers.. which were Very Purple And Boys Threw big Stones Into Some Black Water.
“Please help me, I am in Trouble.”.. “There’s Really nobody else that I can think that I would ask for this favor.. I am depending on you to do this for me.”… All the Light Pools Were Rinsed off the Cliff, there were So many Fish Falling out of The Waterfall that it didn’t even seem like water was dropping and flowing it just seemed as if There Were Only just the Fish. The light made its Way back from out of her windshield And Daphne Pulled off To the Side of The Road—she found herself Gasping for Breath And It Felt As if there Were Rocks Inside of Her Lungs—and Feathers Being Rolled Over Her Ribs. She unfastened her safetybelt And Got out of The car.. Stood Outside And Started Vomiting… Feathers Poured Out Of her Mouth and They Were Blown Everywhere—it was As if A Tornado Picked Up too. Daphne’s Car Was Launched off the ground, Was Gone And She Stood In The Purple Circle Of Flowers And Then the Azure Was Its Brightest—Stones Hit The Water So Hard.. And She Put Her hands Together Supremely Cracking her Knuckles.. She was Sitting On The Toilet Seat.. And Urine Smoothly Flowed From Her Vulva—she Smiled And Then A Volcano Spurted in the Backyard.
“Real Breakfast With A Bear-and a Suit Of Nectar That We suckle—There’s Roots Doused with Kerosene And Then We’ll Let Beetles Crawl Over Them Before They’re Lit. I Am nauseated To Even Think of Them Being burnt.” There Were Formations That The Lava Was Certainly Formed Into Some other Way So Much Has Gone by Us And Then Real Breakfast There Were Statues Of Huge Geese Out in front of the restaurant and I had that Dirty Morning Feeling When I Wiped Grease And Oil off of my Nose And I Felt That There Was Still dirt Behind my Ears…. And I Had The Bigger Flecks Of the bread Caught in my Teeth.. And then I went outside in order to speak To The Geese. “Got just one more minute and Then I am out of Here.” Said Daphne, she Put on her Shoes And Walked out of The Door And then Down Her Street But The cement Seemed to Stop and her Street Became Dirt—water flowing profusely out of the Gutters..But it Works Backwards From the Lack of Rain It Overflows When rain did Fall That Water Just Sat in there And Didn’t put itself To Good Use The leaves Floated On Top of The overfilled Gutters…And Then there Was The Way That it Ran Down The gutters Too And it flowed onto the dirt Road.. —And Made Mud— Does That Mean A damn thing to You?… Hey Mate …. One of The Boys Has To take a scrub-Brush to the Other Boys Back—and then he bites the Places Behind his Ears..All we Get is one night..Holds His hand at the base Of Staff And Then The pine Needles Prick The Flesh —Some Day You’re Going To Fall in love With A man— Does That Mean Anything Made All of Mud—Those Guns That We Strap To Our Sides and We fasten Them Like they’re Our Safety Belts.. We Load ourselves To the maximum Place With Pounds Of Ammunition—and The Man with the Longest Leverage On his Belt, he stands on a Sprocket Plate That Inserts And Un-inserts Itself Too. Just to look through the Lens The Tank is Like A Rhinoceros—it munches at the feet Of Daphne When She Stands in the invisible Lawn Spot Where The Snowman Was… And Then She Herself Dwarfs The House And She Collapses On The Lawn..And There’s No reason why When She Wakes Up that The Grass that Is pressed into the back of her Not Going to be hot..the Ants which are in it..they’ll dig into Her Flesh —all Mad Flub— —All Made Gone—
Fin—Of Chapter—One—

Chapter—2—Earthly Creatures—Westing And Graham.
They Continued To change Me, the hours that I was Awake-For the Longest Time I would Go without Sleep—and I realized what Was More of How I was alive—Part of the Room is Hanging Down on Me—like the curves of the Corners Sweep in and They Pin Me There. After I feel the Buzzing –More Like A Hard burn in my Chest, That’s When I Too Sweep into The Sleeplessness And I am Happy To be Awake.. And Have The Night—there’s A Quiet And a Peace And it’s Surprisingly Comforting—I want to Pour A Lacking Water In A Hollow Bone Made All Of Mud—They Continued To change Me, The Streets that I walked Down I started Speaking Words Very Softly… The Whole Time it was Like I watched Myself—I remember When I got up in the afternoon my Face Looked Pretty In The Mirror and So Clean Just As We Speak—I Want To Treat Myself Good from Now on… She Never Says Anything Bad I.E. that she would want to Control Him—His Life That He Wants To Change…Is Wanting Him More Now…. The Skin Has To Be Cleaned With A Sponge And The Burn Is Slightly Severe—some of then skin Is Gone…and Permanently Red Stinging And Painful—they continued To Change.. They Raise The Back Part of His Body Up in A Harness… which Tilts And Then He’s Leaned Upwards –this Pivots To Keep His Upper-half From Touching Anything… Where He’s burnt They’ve got to Keep That Away From Pressing against Anything.. They Flesh has Disintegrated So Much…New Skin Had To Be Grafted On… His face Looks As if it Has Dropped And Fallen Off His Face—and then was Moved Back Up and Smeared Over—There’s A Little Bit of Hair Left on his Head—in spots But The Skin in His Scalp is badly Singed. They Continued to change Me.. I looked White When I Looked in the Mirror As if someone had Painted A Powder On My Face…and My Eyes Looked deep Black And Beating… --I wore an Orange Shirt when I left from the house and I had To Put myself together To Walk all of the Way Home—luckily after Going Through The streets Behind the Shops, the sidewalk Leads Downwards And it is Easy For me To Quickly Carry Myself. They made you this way and they put you in this bad Mood, Daphne Zorn wears a green Dress With Purple Flowers On it—and she Has Stars Peering Over Her Face—“I am A Champion”.. He Says to Himself in his mind While The Harness Is Moving Him Back Down To the Floor—I feel what’s left of His Skin When I Press the Pads of my fingers onto it…. I do that Gently Because I Know How Badly it’s Damaged—the flag of the union is the blanket on Daphne’s Bed. Pipes Flow Up from the Mattress.. And Split The Cloth Open—Daphne Snugly Lays Between Their Sprouting Up In Heavy Slumber—she slept Naked—with just A Dark Green Sheet Covering Her. Because I Know How Badly she is damaged From the Time When She could not Sleep—when the Floors And Walls Curved Up and They Trapped Her and then she had to Run out To The Streets And Get into The Car where it’s Parked And then Eagerly Drive Away… but everything She Did was in style—she woke up on the bed and she felt the Need to Urinate… She Walked into The Bathroom.
“The night does not Go Quickly, Ever!” I said To The Face that I saw in the Mirror When I Was in a Restroom Somewhere along the Side of The Road—in a rest-stop. Then When it does go And you’ve sat There Through all of it.. You Realize That The Morning is New… Newer Than You Ever Could Have Dreamt It To Be…. “The Night Does Not Go Quick!” Here’s The Thing You’ve Got to Understand That Daphne Was in Trouble and it Wasn’t A Problem she Could Solve—in her sleep she walked past the houses in the square And Up the steps Of The Town’s Most Important Building.. and She Collapsed There And slept, Found herself There Again in The morning… What if she never hears from Herself again.. ?… Then what will she do.. She Hasn’t Had a Problem With anyone else.. They’re All Problems With Herself.
If you look over the Path You see That The Sea is in the distance—and Then Down a Pair of Steps Which were Made of Stones—Then The Path Just starts Descending… And we moved Slowly… Before We Stopped to notice a Jewel At Our Feet—the cloth hung open Around Daphne’s Shirt.. Her Cleavage Was Dropping Out. Elusive Lights Flashed Over Her Nipples And They Hit The High notes To Illustrate The Depth of Her Face—she had wisdom There That Most Do not Have—and she was lacking Some experience.. but thinking it out to herself Was How She Felt That it Compensated. If you Look over the Path…You See The Sea… Sometimes you Sit in the Dirt and Rub The Stones Between Your Legs—to keep from being seen.. he felt like he may have to keep from being seen for the rest of his Life….his body had been marred to Such an extreme This time he saw a Different Face in the mirror…When he Looked into it… It was So Bad To See All of His face Dropping Down… “Be Over, Be Over”.. he Said in response to his Life—on his back the skin had been redone and it looked more like flashing lightning Streaks…. Of splotched Scarred Skin… out of his Window in the corner He Could See Streaks That were Made by The Seaside—and he could smell it right there also … And He Stopped For a moment to look at himself one more time before he opened the window and stepped onto the ledge…put his feet onto the ladder and descended Down…there’s a small ledge of Solid Mud And Loose Stones.. where he stood after coming off the Ladder.. then there’s another path.. that leads down to the sea, it’s very steep And there’s garbage Strew to The Sides of it…. He descended Down this Too… And he came to A Clearing Where a fire Pit was also strewn with Trash… he proceeded By That… And Then Another Flat Clear Path Leads him To The Beach—he Felt The Sand When He Got down on his Knees and He ran his Hands Through it…. Then he Remembered his Face in the Mirror And he Remainder of His Marred Appearance... Before He Laid in the Tide.. but he Only Stayed there a moment …he got back up and he Proceeded Down More of The Beach—til he came to a Cave That Was made of Rubber.. He saw A Desk With A Fruit Bush by It When he Looked inside And A Single blue Light-Bulb illuminated it… He Walked inside of the cave and sat down at the desk, he opened a drawer which was on it.. and he Took out a red cylinder And This Had a Screw-on cap That he Removed… And he shook the cylinder And Held it upside Down And Small Apples Came Out onto The Table …They Had Spiders Crawling on them—he Took the spiders in his hands And Ran outside of the cave…With them… he put them on a stray leaf and Crushed them With his foot before they could get away…. They were smeared on the base of the leaf… which he Rolled Up and Put in his Mouth… when he swallowed it—pistons Rose Up From The sand And They Had The Sculpted Heads Of Serpents—their Eyes Were Gashing Purple Jewels.. Conveyer-belts.. Came From Their Metal Jaws.. And Many Spiders Were Sent On Them… They Crawled Over Him…And smoothed His Scarred flesh.. He Felt A Warm Feeling.. And he Fell To the ground.. And He Passed out when he heard The Sound of a Cork Popping Off A Bottle…then He awoke And the spiders were gone from his Body, he put his hands over his Skin And felt that it was Smooth.. he Could look Down at his chest and see that the mars Were Gone.. He Ran His Face.. And it Seemed Like it Had Before it had Been burnt.. He Ran into The Water.. And Looked At his Reflection.. He Was His Old Self Again.. It Was Good To Believe.

The burns are all over him—they cover his body—he puts damp cloths on them—since they only hurt the Surface of His Skin and They Didn’t Disintegrate it—he has his burnt arm laying on the dresser—near where the window is open and he sees morning light shine in on the burns—he keeps receiving A card that Says all is Well…. Saying Hope All To Be Well, the burns are on his back and they hurt very bad so he decides to lay on his Stomach—he tilts his head so he can press it into the Pillow And His Lips Touch The Cloth of The Pillowcase—he dreamt of Being Very Still When He Fell Asleep There. A puddle of water was Very Absorbent of the pain that his burns brought him, they cover his body—but he sits on a red chair near very high windows it is a really good assumption that very bright light is going to suddenly Shine in—I have not heard from you in a longtime…. And it’s good to catch up with you again.
Cracker Murals—enhance the Long Circular Waste—Basket
Residential Lease—dated first day of April 1996—landlord leases tenant The “Following” Residence With One Bedroom At The “Following” Address: 17 North Eel Street—Brixton Mills Iowa. The burns are all over the bed too The Mattress where he received them is Still There, just the Corpse of It.

Approximately See Wonderful River
The Winter is Closing Over
Approximately Speeding
Chanting Loins And The ice Splitting

“Chant the Chant of—amour” Says Daphne—I could do so if my hands weren’t crunched from Abuse That’s been Done to Them. Ode To My Body… Ode To my body “Would You like to help me watch it fall apart”…. 1. Exterior—Daphne is wearing the green dress with the purple flowers on it and she is sitting on the Blue Block-House And She Folds her legs and she hunches Over. “Chant The Chant Of—amour” Says Daphne And My Hands Were Crunched Under The Wonderful River.

Approximately See Wonderful River
The Winter is Closing over
Approximately Speeding
Chanting Loins And The Ice Splitting

Brixton Mills Iowa 17 North Eel Street 15236
“The Chant Of Amour” was recited By Daphne Zorn—born 0-11-80—and written by Dora Zorn—also Born 0-11-80—Would you like to know more? Then Write “Zorn Circumference Latters” P.O. Box 15236—Brixton Mills Iowa.
Approximately Sea & Wonderful Rivers
When the winter was Closing over Daphne Was wearing a stockings which were white and Deep Black Socks—she wore red lipstick and dangling earrings and she was use to a magick kind of Strangeness She Was Proud of The Things Which she could Smile At—her Skin was Smooth And it Had not Been Touched, yet.
There’s a Round Lump on my arm where The Biggest Scar is—it looks like a giant spider Bite—before the Ship lands—in one of the fields near North Eel Street; Burns on my legs and I have to rub a Thick ointment on my thighs and I am going to have to tell you something—hurry open the daylight it is the Crown On my Arm Where The Round Lump Was I was Much Hungry Do You Have Any Food—I crushed Leaves And I rolled them up and I placed them in—between my fingers And I was Expecting the person that I left When I was here Last Was The Person That I would be coming Back To. Now I Still Expect to be the Central Person in your Life No Matter Who You Go Through—no matter who-else but I Am The Closet Friend You’ll ever Have I expect.. But I Don’t Wear White Stockings OR Deep Black Socks. There’s just round spots on my Arms Where I see A Man Looking from The Balcony Of A Room And he’s Been Looking all of the day as the Kids went Back and Forth in the pool—we even raced each other to the deep-end And Then I pressed my tongue Near The steps That Put you up on the cement Near The Ledge of The Pool where you’d jump in and The Mark on The Ground That Says 10 _ Feet Deep So you Know that you can dive in and not break your head on the Bottom… You Need to Give yourself A Few Feet or else You May End Up not Being Able To Walk Away You Would End Up Sitting in a wheelchair For The Longest Time Say Possibly The Rest Of Your Life… But on the pools that Are Above the Ground there needs to be a sign to Warn you From Diving into the Shallow End… it Shows A Man Crunching His Head And The other Half of his Body is Still Out of the Water…And There’s Little Lines Near His Head to Symbolize The Impact Against The Shallow Bottom…and there’s A red Circle and A Thin Line That’s red Going Through The Middle of The Picture… half of your body is still like magick after you remove the Other Part You Can Still Wobble Around on Your Hands if you’ve Not Got any Legs… then Presume that You can Act Like A Spider And You’ll Go Through Lovers Very fast ‘Cause You’ll know that it’s Honest And Eager To Fall in love with someone along the lines Of Yourself Or Some Such Like Minded Person.. Sometime I Want you to ask me Who My other Friends Are… Then when you Ask me About them You’ll see that you’re Just As Important to me as a lot of other people Are.
“I’m sold on this completely… I really love this idea—and I want to say hello so bad but I have not even Bothered To write and I never Want to See You Again.” That was what one of the correspondences said that was Addressed To Daphne Zorn—a lot of Others Simply Just Asked her What She Felt—and other times she went so long without Speaking with People…that She nearly Forgot who they Were. “The Day that I woke up a lot earlier than I usually do I realized that it was the night before when I last so you and it’s a shame that you don’t know about this day I mean the one when I woke up early and you’ll have no idea what happened to me on the next days Too.. Unless you Contact me in some way or another in order to find out…. But the reason that I don’t just contact you and ask you if you want to know is because I am afraid to take the chance that you may not be interested.
“I am Sold completely On your Dress” Said One Person to Daphne, they were Trying To Make Her Like them But it Didn’t work—something though about Terror… Bubbles Immediately Broke Apart And Beings No Doubt Drifted Out of Them… And I see That Daphne is as fearful as Me…or maybe she’s not as fearful as me is it possibly that we’re not Mad At all and we still care but we don’t have Any Desire To talk To Each Other Anymore except for once in a while … Not Everyday like we used to Talk To each other—when we first met We Kind of Found our Company to be Inseparable—it was once hard when I first had to be without Daphne—then in became used to It Everyday.. I had To Tell Myself that today I was not Going to See her… And I would have to Bear it without Her…. I had to Think that Maybe This is Not So Bad…. Maybe This isn’t The Worse Thing—maybe it could be Worse.. And I am Definitely Not Going to Be Insulted by it—maybe if I get so distant from her then I’ll end up doing a lot of things for myself.. that I could not have done when I was under her influence. I didn’t think it was so bad without her and I am as sure that she didn’t feel that it was bad at all without me—is it everyone who Leaves me And Her Too… My Life Is Better Though and I am Going to Put Her Here In the Sense that she guides and Remembers Me though sometimes I know it not. On the idea of wiping the dirt from me.. that is something that I am sold on too. “It is the gift that we’re not Given, Hope.” Said Daphne—when she left, she walked Down A Lone Street And Through Blue-Buildings And Lights Barely Flickered—“I Will never worship The Sun.” Said Daphne, “it’s Only Relevance is in juxtaposition of My Happiness At night, The Daylight I Dislike.” A bubble Immediately Broke Apart And Its flecks Covered Over Daphne—“what You Need is Your Own Secrecy.” She Said. The people in masks came by the dozens And Daphne Sat Slouched in the Chair—it was so soft and comfortable that you really sunk down into It—and she watched this parade happening around all the while struggling so much to keep her eyes open. Her head leaned so much further back and her whole body shifted and It Just Became So Hard To Keep Her Eyes Awake at All—they were soon closed—when she opened them the next-time—the remains of the parade were right there—masks were laying on the Ground And Streams Were Strewn About Having Been Shot Through The Air, “To think that This Joy Happened All around me as I slept is really a great irony.” She Said And she Closed Her Eyes Again and Embraced The Comfortable Depths of the Soft chair. “Holding a bottle in his hand, he always gave out the other half of a laugh at the end of each thing that he said—what bothered me the most is that would not take anything serious it seemed or he hid behind comedy to prevent pain.” In a clear orange room they washed off their bodies I had to walk past and look at them … their eyes were the smallest slits and they had little creases on the edges of their lips—and they gave up having any deep silence—they made as much noise as they possibly could but they did not know how to relate to me that was the reason that we didn’t get along very well. The discs that we push curtains over run so much deeper—I will worship the dark and how it fades me from every sad piece that the day makes possible—“How much farther is it?”… Asked Daphne.. Hoping that the answer would be that it wasn’t much farther—but she was bound to find out that it was unfortunately—there were roads upon roads—ways leading her to where she would never be And surfaces she didn’t want to briskly Carry herself Over.
“At night I dislike the day.”
“Whence No Sleep … Whence No Love.” Prove to me that these ideas will work and then I will try them but I can not go on a whim and I have no idea why you’d want me to—the night brought the water from the earth that they washed in—he poured it over sections of her body after she’d Soaped Them—and sometimes he had to Take A Cloth To those certain Sections since the Soap Had Been applied So Thick. But They Lay Together As The Glow From Lamp Was Balanced For How their eyes Were.. There Wasn’t Too Much.. Light Only Enough to Make it Comfortable For Them While they Were Here In the dark.
Disguise the sun to grin—tape the tape For Me. How long have you Been here?…how long have you Been Waiting here for me—everything is somewhat A Disguise And you Pull one thing or another Over It. Some ways Going to The Sea—very clear and Bright—Eva Is Very Clear And Bright—I can knock myself out and go on living like myself….as you know this is a bit much for me to handle I can’t take all of this in my life. What can I stand away from in order to get myself together….tape the tape for me “How Long have You Been Here.”
Said Eva—I would like to tell you that I am meeting with some people Tonight Regarding certain Ideas…I hope you’d Like To come Down here But I can’t believe that you don’t want to know me Any Longer I think that you’ve gotten so far away from me that when you know became so long ago that you don’t want to have Me Back—I guess I’ll take the easy to my Lifeline—Walking through the desert there were tall Red Rocks And Faces peered from the sand- sun is not disguised so it is allowed totally To Grin Like One Way It is Burning bright down onto Me—it doesn’t seem like I’ve been sleeping so much as of lately I have Been Just Walking Out here.. and I think that You need to Assume a better attitude About Things. Red Rocks And faces Peered Out it Doesn’t Seem Like I want to be here at dark but if I was it would be a lot less hot—and maybe I can maintain Myself A Little Better is Getting Over You so Hard. Daphne Zorn’s FanClub For People Who don’t Exist—they always got to be together on the first day of May of Every Year.. and what in the Hell do you have to talk about with me—I don’t know how easy the Occasions Are Is there a Smile From me That You’d Like Too?…. There’s a may Pole And it’s held here on the May 16th of this year as yet last year’s participants have been very unresponsive we made tea and Cake For People to give them more of a chance at having a social interaction but Nobody wanted to Show Up Why Do You think that You care I do not believe that you will say this to me and I didn’t know you At all Before You Came here….. Disapprove Of Me Do You?…. Well, I don’t think that I am Going to ask you Again Now I Sleep in the basement of the house And There’s A Flag Pole Leaning against one of the walls and then we call the room the dungeon And everybody says what kind of a Freak Everybody Else is… do you Have any time to Get together This Week The way that he Puts it makes it all come across as seeming trite and Boring there’s something to pity them all for though they’ve Still Got Each Other.

“She Knew Me Before all of this, Before hands extended and spines like those of books straightened—hands reached out and came over us but you Can Admit that She Put her Grip on you As Well—She Knew me Before This All Happened, it was like when she looked at me or when I saw her face—I only Saw My whole Lifetime right-there. At First Clearer Than I had ever Seen anything else—there was nothing else like the first time that I realized who she was—she stood with her back to me in a red dress—but she turned Around soon and she sat on a chair near long, long curtains with her legs crossed and with her nails—Being trimmed by her Teeth. “I’ll See You sometime maybe, I think”—she said. But I Could Not wait for sometime I would like to’ve known right then when I would see her again, she left and confidently smiled at me—telling me with her lips pursed that she would see me again—I captured Her Face in my mind, Oh There is Bliss In Seeing Someone like her for the first time—she went to get into a car and her light brown hair swung across her shoulders when she lifted a Leg inside Of the Car—Then She Was Gone—and I stood in the parking lot—with her all over Me. That’s All that I had on my mind, all bad, all good things… everything from the past Was then Totally in an Oblivion—Because She Looked Back at me As the car Drove Away And even from that far I saw Her involving Brown Eyes—and For a Long Enough Time That I knew that I must see them Again, sometime Soon.”

A Man who is apparently A Burn Victim Sits In a red Chair—in a bland Room—that contains a dresser Curtains and A Lamp Which is Turned On—Close-up—Of His Face—seems to’ve been reconstructed as Good As it Could’ve Been after Whatever degree of an accident that he was In—He Looks At Us And Speaks. “I Tried to Lay Under automobiles All day Long, I let Lubrications Drip down on me From The Engines—I was always afraid that the Car Would Drop Down On me—and crush My Legs—and sometimes I would hear footsteps Which were louder than the Music That Was Playing On The Radio—and then I would see feet walking around the car … a million feet circle as I lay underneath they Were Closing In On Me.” “Another Time, In the Parking lot of Sears—my Car Stalled and I sat there in the kind of Cold Weather… And I was Freezing—there were guys who were parked next to me—in a big truck that was risen very high off of the ground—I got up enough courage to ask them to jump start my car—and they did So—they were glad that I had jumper cables in my trunk.”

LIKE CATTLE—FIGHTERS DO !—A Victim of A Car Crash Sits on a Blue couch—to get more comfortable, he Stretches out and he’s soon laying down on it—Close Up of his Face—shows That it is Scarred Very Badly—and it looks like Graphs Have Been Drawn Up and Down on it—and Scars Are All the More Illustrated—by the way the lamp light illuminates him from out of the left corner of the room—He Speaks To Us—“So Do I, I really Think so… I Think that people can get along more simply than they would think so—take vitamins For Example—people would get along better if they took vitamins.. they Would Be healthier—taking vitamins would be better than laying out in the Sun—People Would not only Be Healthier—but since the vitamins were also aiding them to feel Better—they would also Get along More Well—since they’d feel More Positive and then they were less irritated by each-others Character Traits.”—then he curls up on the blue Couch and falls very soundly asleep.

I found out that Her name Was Muriel—she told me When I asked Her, it was the next time that I saw her—at the same place that I had seen her the first time—she was sitting on the chair next to the long curtains And She Was not sitting straight, she was bent over a little-and attentively examining her Hands—something that I liked was how approachable she Made Herself—I mean that It felt so easy just to walk up—I felt that she sat there seeming vulnerable Because she was hoping that I would walk up to her and start talking. There wasn’t another chair for me to sit in—so I sat on the floor next to her and I kept looking right into her eyes—we were laughing in a few moments and then it was like her eyes were burning Holes in me—the heavy Browns Of Them—were Blaring With Intensity—her Gaze was abrasive To The point of unrespectability—but then softness penetrated and her eyes became like bows in my hair and I felt her mouth on my neck—she put her right hand on the back of my head as she kissed my lips—we stood by some trees and we were barely lit—it was Still The Lights From The Public Gathering Place—that Hit on us—some ways that she stood.. she would be lit Better—any way that she’d be—I would just greatly see how much beauty shown from her face—she pushed me up against one of the trees and She still had her right hand on the back of my head.. she flinched a little when her knuckles were pressed onto the bark—but she Kept me pressed there—gazing into my eyes—it was as if a camera’s flash was coming from them the longer she looked at me the more I felt like I was feeling hazed.. Like A Bed And Then My Head On the Pillow After she’d removed Her Hand—the light in the room Came from the far left corner—her breasts pressed into my Chest—so softly—I was one with her there in the bed—We Both Came.

I picked Up Paper Birds And Kissed them—left their tails— cutting open my lips—and then I threw them over to the trash-can by the lamp—and the whole time it seemed like she was laughing but not at me—at how funny it was to be there—funnier to me too—it seemed like she was always Happy—she Kissed me again—and I started to weep Out of Passion and I Lost Pride That I didn’t feel singular anymore I felt like I was an extension or Muriel We Were the same person—it felt like. If I could’ve went anywhere I would have taken her with me and I would’ve liked for her to be in the room with me when I was going to stay in—maybe she didn’t have to say anything but that wasn’t true I needed her to say too much…. I needed to hear all of these words about the world and I wanted her to say how everything was So I would Know The Way That someone else was seeing Something—I Love Your Life, I Love Your Life.. I said—I loved hearing her speak about anything no matter what it was—she could talk about the most bland boring thing—but what is was like it was different Because The way that she would put it was Interesting---it was always Different From the way that all of the others Would Have Put it To Me. There’s not necessarily a wrong way to do things anymore—it’s like you’re living just how you want—and there are no certain ways—you just feel a flux in your Life and I felt that with the life of Her.

SOUR DOUGH—EASY GO—a Geisha Looks At You Or myself—the image of her is So Bright—her lips Pristine Red—and her face was painted by an extremely White Paint—smiling and attentively gazing at you Or Me…. She Does not Speak to either of us—what we see does all of the talking for us. “We Can’t have people in and out of here all day, coming and going like they don’t know who anyone is--the impersonal feeling is intensely washed in, how would you feel about people that you’re never going to see again—then what if everybody that you saw day after day was a person that you’re Never Going To see Again?”…..

“I Decided That From now on—I am not going to talk to anyone at all anymore.”
Wait and then magic words were said and they made up for what was Said Before but you were still half mad at me.

She Wailed At me in a menstrual Fury On the other end of the phone—She Screamed. She Said All of my flaws and she said all of the things that I did wrong—and I tried to totally Stay As Calm As I Could, I can honestly say that I felt calm Too. And I didn’t want to yell anything back at her—I didn’t want to tell her that I was mad too and I didn’t bother to say all of the problems that I had with her Too—I am done with this conversation but not quite I owe her as much as to listen to what she has got to yell I think that it is truly something worth hearing because I do value her as a person, anyway first and foremost I always at least liked her as my friend.

If I were to remember I would say that they built the mound from out of the wet mud and then they Placed The Wooden Pieces on the front and back of it. When the sun was getting hotter some of the wet mud seeped through the opened slits in the boards and rolled down the wood and was at the Bottom of the mound. It Wouldn’t be a Lie—to’ve seen the Foxes Behind the Mound—they were rubbing up against The Boards— “Someone who will come through for you Is someone who would place things aside when you needed them, it is you that they will take first.” Said Muriel—then she said that there were other People That She Didn’t Have to Reach out to—ones that she didn’t need but maybe she would be there if they reached out to Her. There’s a point where The Dirt Road Goes into the water and you can only cross if it’s very Low So you’ve got to Park the Car aside and then get out and cross The Stream without it—we parked the car there, aside. When we saw that we couldn’t cross because of how high the water was—and we couldn’t even really cross it on our bicycles—so we Took our Shoes Off And Carried them and Then Pushed Our bicycles through the water—and we’d put our shoes back on at the opposite bank—then The Road Continued. We got onto our bicycles And Started Riding Out—but we came to a place where the Road Drops—and Even Kind of Swivels and it leads down to Some Large Rocks But past them there’s Some very Green Grass—And exceptionally Bright Yellow Flowers. I had to walk over the rocks but when I stood on them it felt like I was sitting down—and then it felt like water was running down my back—I was standing amongst the exceptionally bright yellow flowers—clutching my Bicycle—And I saw A Piece of Dark cloth pulled over The Sunshine.
Muriel Was Surrounded By Jewelry In The Room—she Placed It Out everywhere And Then She Picked it up piece by piece and she had something to say about each piece—Her hair Fell Down obscuring half of her face And The Eye That You Could see Was Very Big And Bright—there was a Great Expression To It.
In the Wooden Case—the Pit is Filled Up With Sand—and the sand is balanced so that There Aren’t Shallow Spots—I Placed A Shell Inside of It, and I put a Leech on top of the Shell—and I Thought That I Had seen A Mountain Become a Little boy. It was Like They Told me to go Fuck myself. It was when I got up in the morning and I ran across the grass field—and I stood near the fence and the sun comes up directly Between this two peaks—you can see it rise between the hills depending from the Angle that You’re Standing At. Then I took the Yellow Cape From Where It Layed overnight On the Corpse of The Cow—and I Went back from the fence, placed my hand above my brow to block out the glare and then I would have a better look at the Sun. I was going back to the house—sooner, when I got down the paved road—I sat on the steps with everyone else—and My shoes Were Painted With White Powder—and Other people put their hands Down my Socks—we all rode out the same way after we were introduced…. We were obviously In for the Roughest Ride…. The vehicles—took us up a Hill that was kind of long—pretty soon I sat in the grass next to someone else—and I held two sticks in a roped off pit of Grass And my Life Didn’t Seem Like it Belonged To Holding these things—someone pressed up against me when I stood where the solid dirt.. rolls down vertically In A Succession of Flecks—when a gust of wind hits the dry bank—the dirt particles are carried very Far…. And I sank a little bit—when I got near the lodge—I got a prickly stone—banked over my eyes and I had to lay out on one of the seats as someone layed over me and put their hands on my Shoulders—And asked me if I could see anything—there were pictures above me when I looked up to the wall they were of people pretending To smile back down at me. Then it was all lit dimly in the Room where I had layed on the seats—And except for the fact that a piece of silver paper had been placed near flame—and then I saw the silhouette of a woman holding a Cane—and she’d Lash out at other people with the Stick…. Soon However The Silver paper started to melt down—and the woman’s silhouette was Also brushed away As The Flames Ate up the Paper—the next minute when I layed on the bed which seemed like it was made of iron—I felt Doorknobs Bounce on my Calves And I layed onto the wall in one of the toilets After I was Touched on the groin and I saw lip prints Pressed on the Walls of Toilet Stall And I noticed that it didn’t have any door and then I saw that anyone could walk in and See me And there was Something else that was also Humiliating… You Had To Take A Shower With Everyone Else—Worse Was That Some of The Faucets Didn’t Really Work—so you had to stand-on by one of the close walls while you saw someone get drenched and then you got splashed with the Flecks from their faucet as you shivered and awaited your turn to Get Doused With The Unpleasant Faucet Gush. When I layed back the next time on the iron bed—it seemed like I’d been drenched with water And it Would Not Leave from my Body—I could not get it to dry—even though I didn’t remember if I’d ever stood underneath one of the faucets but I surely did stand in the faucet room because I was able to recall how They Burst and Dribbled And Then How They Failed—but the water Somehow Glued me Down to the Iron Bed—when I looked up from the iron bed I saw A Picture Of The Sunshine With Netting Falling Upon it. The doorknobs were further into my calves—and then I fell very far down into the fields—where I thought I saw the fence where I removed the yellow cape from the deceased Cow—but then I was Removed from the iron bed And Then I had To Walk Up These Large Hills With Sawdust all in my Eyes… But what I saw out of the corners was waves Slamming Fish against Sharp Rocks—and I saw Bubbles That Carried Planks and it Was That Nooses clenched More Cattle As I saw dangle them From Trees but their Weight Could almost Crack off the Most enduring Branch And I Felt Like you’d probably Have to Tie The Noose From Around The Trunk And then lead it down over the Branch Before You Attached The Cow. When I reached the top of the Hill there Was A table Attached To a Pole and it was Going to Be Shatter’d By A Machine that had A long Pole And A Pivoting Arm—and at the end of the Pole Was A Solid Oval—That Seemed Like it Would be A Good Way To Crush Something If you were Set on Doing Such. I stood some feet back from the spectacle that was soon to be—the machine sputtered and the pole pivoted and the oval end Shattered The Table that was Tied on up High on the Pole of its own. All of the flecks of the table were scattered and some of them Got into my Eyes, that along with the sawdust meant that I was Almost completely Blind, in the Little Cracks that I did see out of I saw sailboats Rising out of the ground From Shipwrecked Graves—And first their Sails Jotted Upwards From the dirt.. And Then The sculls of larger Boats Came Jotting Upwards.. soon there were entire fleets, they were carried quickly on Currents of Protruding Rocks.. Whose Edges and Ends Split The Boats Open And they Were Just Pieces Too, Scattered Across The Grass Fields—when I got my Sight Back—I walked Over To The Fence and Found A Spool That Had Yellow Capes That You could Unwind From It—it was My Duty To Go Around And Place A Yellow Cape on Each Boat’s Remains—I did This And I Had Enough Time Left that I Could Stand My Ground and See The Sunset Between Those Same Two Peaks Where I always Liked To See It Come-up. They built another wall out of wood—and they carefully packed dirt inside of it—you couldn’t see in or out of it. Then I saw that I could see part of one room where all of the bags had been set on the benches and one of them came and removed something of his before he left. There were clouds right in front of the steps and they started ascending up them as I leaned back against the window—there he layed in the bed and even the light from the moon looked black—no matter how I positioned myself in my own room –he was still able to see me taking my clothes and putting others on—it would have been frightening but it wasn’t because I liked him so much. Another man who wears a white shirt arrived on his motorbike he had the back of it Wrapped with cloth and newspaper—My Patience was Tried Entirely…. And I found this completely Unprofessional… Dealing with Some Person Who Gave No Response To My Communication Attempts… And after they’d Taken me Under their Wing…I found out that as soon as they’d taken me in that I was completely at their mercy…. Muriel’s eyes Softened When They saw The trees… Some Darkness was spread on their White Trunks… The Branches became Arms And There Were Faces Sprouting up on them….. They Even Moved from their Spot on the Ground and they launched themselves at People….. coming down on them and hugging them against the Ground…. And There Was A wheel That was Colored White Spinning above a doorway that leads into one of the trees—it created a regular beating Color—he placed Down another Bag on The Seats…. In the Room that was Filled Up now By Clouds And Everything was All Good… He Bent His back over and Muriel could See How Thin he was… without a belt there would be no-way that his pants could Even stay Around his Waist…she saw this closer when he put his arms around her—out in the woods now—the white trees Really Sprung Up—Their Roots Were Ripped Apart When They Tore Out from The Earth—and the white Wheel Spun so fast—that you couldn’t even tell that it was spinning just seemed like a bright trance white tone. Muriel Sat on the steps that Lead up to the school—and she smoked Cigarettes… another girl came and sat down by her. They Talked for a moment about the swings behind the school and about gardens before they realized that they’d probably never See or talk to each other again….but that wasn’t ‘til the other girl got up and left. As Muriel Sat There Smoking—she looked over at a fence in front of a house which was to the left of the school—a dog was barking by it—in the yard that it enclosed. The sound of the barking became distorted, it just sounded like it broke apart Too… before she could hear the Barks in their entirety—she sat there on the steps as she lit up another cigarette—and perched the end of it between her red lips—it was kind of getting cold now—there was A great chill in the air—and she realized that she’d like to move from her place on the steps, she got up and walked from them down onto the sidewalk.. she carried herself confidently but all the while she was definitely in another World…. A halo of cigarette smoke formed around her head and then it turned into an entire cloud which completely Encased her Head And Wiped over her face …. With her legs in stockings.. and her red coat and skirt—but a cloud over her face—if their were Small models of Cities in front of her then she would have Crushed Them With Her Black shoes and continued walking Onward—later she walked into the street—and used a loose piece of pavement to wipe the cloud from her head.. remove it from covering her face….. did he realize when he didn’t want to see her? He should have Known that he’d not feel confident enough of himself to spend anytime with her—he felt like in her presence a demand was placed on himself—that he had to be somebody that he couldn’t be It is so rough… the feeling of hills over your legs….. it was like they pumped into your Knees when you pressed your feet into their earth—and the ones that were rising up higher and higher, they made sure that you had to step just as hard—until you got a splitting motion in your legs—these enormous people who really climbed up so fast on these hills And they Made their feet into Ships OR The soaked their Toes in the waves that cut out from the earth—their were these slits in the hills that resembled Vaginas And They secreted These Moist Waves—currents Like Those From A Vaginal Climax—they Covered your Feet And left the harder Chunks embedded if you had any loose Skin In between your toes. The people wore long red coats that came over their hands because the sleeves were so long—and They Had Castles For Heads, they simply Just roamed These Hills With The Tide Of Vaginal Waves Cloistering Their Feet. All of the bridges in place of her mouth when she opens it to kiss you—she puts poles to create space as rims on your Tongue—and She Wears a pack full of mud near her labia To create Moss—it is too much for me, or it seemed like it was at first—but after a longtime I realized that I was able To take A lot more than I thought at first—take the position of the bed for example, you lay your head on the pillow and the window is up next to it—there were drapes keeping the sunlight out.. and it happens to still be too bright in the morning-time—but she always kind of lays down, supports her head by utilizing her bent arm—and then pushes her back into the wall—and she lays there calmly on the bed in the morning—sometimes depending on how the moonlight is—all you’ll see is The Silhouette Of her—but she is smoking cigarettes So you really do see puffs of Smoke gusting through the Dark. Do you really want to Sleep here, There ! Do you want to sleep anywhere and what in the hell do you think that you can get done, I know that I cannot do anything without her—it felt like that at first… Now that she is gone it is like I will never get anything done—you can make it Through, is it that you too can make your way through a simple phrase—I can’t find you in anybody else’s room—and I didn’t know a penalty I don’t know anything ‘til after then, now it is all about me—it is all about Me—I am solely here And I felt like I was admirable towards myself But when I saw her I knew that it was not true there was nothing at all admirable about me—I felt like I was less of a person when I was with her—it was like there I was , and I knew how I was below her I was simply not nearly as much as a person as she was—I am below her…. So Much—it was strange at first to know that I was so much less—and she was far greater… Than Anything else—if I had to choose between her and everything else it would be her that I would Choose…. When I look’d over from where I was sitting—I saw her there standing at a table—she wore sandals I notic’d that as I glanced down to her feet—and she wore a sleeveless shirt in the spring… the straps Ran over her shoulder Blades… But she didn’t wear a bra.. she had small breasts and it was true that she may have only needed a T-Shirt And Not even a bra—it didn’t seem like he was interested to read anything else / see That The Cord Kept Her Shorts Up all he needed to do was Pull it And maybe Loosen it In order To Let Them Down—he would Take Them Down over her Thighs….And he Would see her Sex Exposed.. Crickly Fine Black Hair Covering the folds when he ran his fingers along the Seams; it was never this close to me before—the large prolonged spout that spewed out the rusty water—it took it far enough from the bed of the Creek So that It Could Come To me—it came in-to me... Now she has Been Gone for 3 hours, I said when I jammed the metal Joustpole In the Earth And The moss Separated… Made little spots on the earth—I am only trying to help her but I don’t think that at this time she’s able to see that Clearly.

“Unclean the Robin Egg.” –April—5th
“insert the binoculars onto your eyes, look over the wooden porch to the river and where it looks like a seam and there’s these two hills—I saw a metal piece rise out of that seam I thought that it was a ship coming up out of the water at first; swimming in water that was Deep—and a raft that they made looks like a horseshoe, I wonder what I thought that was?.” They Lighted the curfew from off the four aces and then they moved themselves to where the mirror shows the vile one standing near the shops holding a big Blue Reef it looks like a crown of flowers that was made out of duck feathers—I realized that I wanted to see my mother but in a city that neither of us were Familiar with—when We heard her voice it always made us happy and we didn’t need A Friend anymore, I mean that we were not in need—what it was that your mother Can make you Feel. Remember before when you didn’t know what something else Could Be…. And she held you as if there was nobody Else, like she wasn’t some other person. April the 6th Now we talk about other people, the cement ramp takes us around the store’s Corner—put your right hand out onto the railing—you’re holding onto the metal as you move along. She kept repeating / I am really glad that this work’d out / I am really glad that this work’d out / I am really glad that this work’d out—it puzzled me as to what else she was trying to say to me and when she ask’d how otherthings were more direct and some things were less stressed when they should of significantly been—are there things that you stressed that you also knew that you’d have But Then you didn’t but you did too I mean I did but I forgot what to say. The Squares from watercolor we left on steps to have them Poured on with the Rain They’d Be Soaked. As Muriel takes a bow she puts her left arm out and flaps the Long sleeve of her Cloak.

“My Close Friends I only want to talk to them Where I saw them And Then I leave off and I pick Up where I went off It’s like being crushed under a large waterfall when you can’t get the beat of something everyday on a Schedule, there are not anythings That We Care About doing?”

She had roses thrown at her and she deflected them from her Face By Using the right sleeve of her Cloak….. what the.. hell would the Point Be… to walk around after it’s over and act as if we don’t know one another…. She Would say To me That I was not what I.. thought that I Was; it is impossible to lead a healthy Life,

WELL—WELL; HERE’S SOME THING WORSE…. There was nothing pleasant about him—his face was soar with pussing acne and his teeth were stained a damp Yellow there were even Large Blemishes in between his Shoulder Blades…. And he had what was a very ugly face, it would have been repulsive even if you take the acne away. “Do you hear yourself when you’ve come home crying Again.” When you stop and think about it this might definitely be the Worse Thing to Be Asked.. but there are other things which I think are also bad—like trying to renew the love that we can’t have for the unpleasant odor of his body….. No-one knows what I mean… I can’t believe that… he can’t come through for me on even the slightest thing there’s no way that you can he expect Him To respond…. The walls were created like they were winding up and theyre a bright blue—there’s fire-escapes coming down on all of them—but there’s a Green Pole.. with a bright orange light that flicks on and off at the top of it and there are all of these bugs swarming around. I had another bad time with her, it was in the car where I tried to hold her and kiss her neck—that was Bad. She left from the car and walked into a storefront and then I followed her but she pretended as if she didn’t know Me. It was like he was in awe when he saw her and he realized whom she was.
“This Girl is Beautiful!”
She had roses thrown at her And she caught them in her teeth—white fluid poured out of her nose, ran down her neck and splashed all over her cloak.

I will make sure that you never spend anytime with she and I together the way that she treats me is unacceptable And think that it may alter your own opinion of the Kind of Person that I Am.

There’s a slit cut in the red silk so that blinding light pours out—the light alone is seeing something it’s like a matter of the act of seeing; the Light Knows What it Wants and it is going to try its hardest to get that. This time they tied my ankles to someone-else’s and we had to walk up the hill carefully or else we would have fallen and gotten hurt. There’s someone sitting up in a tree holding a Rifle… And Trying to fire The Biggest birds down from the sky which they can fire down. I had to take my hand and press the sides of the slit together because the light was so bright that it was washing everything else out in the room it was the most blinding light that I have ever seen—the silk was laying in the center of the room when it was opened and shot Out, the light shot out… it also depended on how small the circumference of the room was and the ceiling was very low you had to get down on your knees in this small room it was very uncomfortable And you did this all in order just to be blinded by this light.
When you came out of the room after you closed the slit you could see in the dark trees that Sprang up in the section where the lot had been it had been turned into a forest.. and there was a straight path leading from the Room and it went right between the Trees And I got on it but I felt that I would still see the light again… the path started descending and it winded downwards as if on levels… You know when I looked up from the level that I was Standing on I would see other people coming down on the levels that were above.. me they got closer to me and they still didn’t realize that when they pinned me in that they Totally Pissed me off…… it means something to me but not everything there’s just these things that I have to do sometimes and I am sorry if they hurt people… Now With That Said.

Where she sat on the floor with her legs Bent, that image of Her is Deteriorating—fluid comes rolling across The Plate And The Bottom part Of The Print absorbs.. it and is wadded up ‘til it crumbles, Could That Have Been My Life? I Thought about it for a long time… And I was A Little Upset—but I could not slap myself Without the reasons for Insinuating that I was Going to go from here and To some Place So Far away Where My Life leaves Me Unknown. The Stars Are Coming Out—night Upon Night—when all of MY Images Are Covered By Blackness… Then I See Them Washed Away By Even More Soaking Fizzles… They’ll be swept up as you know. A Person that you both know Of, he’s so sorry about what you had to go through to Do Have All of this Finished Or At least He Says That HE Is. Where I layed Back on the Bed.. And I felt All of The Pressure pushing down on me… I could barely See The Ceiling… And The Lighting Was So Dim And It Became Dimmer, I realized How Hot outside it Was—Could This Possibly be who I am I thought As I Pulled myself Up. And Then I wondered, I mean I really Wondered if this Could Be my Life. And when I think now I see that it Never Could’ve Been. A Long burst Is Straight All over The Print—but I have not thought about what I will do later on and I Can’t See Any Sense of Worrying About At This Time—What is The Information Which You would Like Me To give, there’s no-one such as you and there is no-one such as myself. I Can Say That if it is What you need me to say… Though that is Probably All that I am Capable Of Providing. He Was Sitting On The Metal Frame Chair… With… The Plastic Seat And Back—he looked over and was Grinning.. I thought it was me that he was grinning at and I realized that it wasn’t It was the Woman Who Was Standing behind Me. All of The Man’s Teeth Were Rotten And it Was The Most unpleasant Grin That I’ve ever Seen. I Used to feel So Differently About her. I felt Like She Would be the Person Whom I would Turn To All of The Time—but I had to unfortunately Witness the Deterioration Of Knowing Her. Soon it wasn’t comfortable Anymore… Now When She Spoke there was a Distance In Her Voice…and a Large Piece Of the Understanding That she Once Had Of Me Was Notably Missing—so for me there was a distance From Her As Well—I do not Feel Like I Felt A long Time Past—I feel like I knew Someone Who Was Someone Different Then And when I see them now, I really Can’t See The Person That I used to know—I see someone which I could probably Never Spend Time With Again. But Maybe She’s Not changed Maybe it is I Who Has changed. When I went to her And Told Her So much—I Was More Of Something Than I am Right here There wasn’t Really Another Thing That I Saw. I would turn my Chair Around and she would standing behind me But why Did she get So far Away From me? I know At one Time And then at the Other Time I really Don’t How Can I Ever Say Why I think that somebody Changes; I can see a space Empty—one which is not filled by myself… somewhere where I used To stand, I put my feet Prominently At these Spots…And not they don’t fit there anymore. Anyhow I hope that She Wonders Who I am Since I Certainly Wonder Who She is Now. I have no Clue who she would appear To Be. Is that a swan stuck there on the ice—when I moved closer with my movie camera to take a photograph.. no to take Movies of it—at first it seemed as if it were dragging itself but the way which its tail feathers swung up seemed like maybe its legs were frozen underneath there—the people that were standing at the opposite end of the lake were not friendly they didn’t even answer me Back When I asked if the swan was Stuck, Somehow I was Offended When they didn’t respond I wondered what it was about me that these people didn’t Like ? The Car Swung onto the lower Street And Out from the Garage Where We’d Park it.. When you swing up two more streets and along the sides of Certain Lanes.. You come too. <1.> “I sat in the Wooden Shelter Constructed Like 4 Walls A Door on the Face of One There Were Ants Crawling on The Cement slabs which are on its Floor” My mouth Stretches As I pull the Tar From-out My Loins—I was Questioning Itching The Roll Off The Toilet When I Fermented Rubble On Top of My Groin… <2.>”The man that Enters by The Left Lamp Carefully Hangs His Coat On The Plastic-Pole That Was Where he was Told the Coats were Meant To Be Hanged. Jeff—Has A red Belt, coat, Hat And he Also carries A Light—It’s Green… The ray it’s Shooting Is Somehow Orange—“—Introduction— Forget Me ! Forget Me ! Everyone has the feelings sometime that they’re not Going to make it anymore ! Forget Me, too bad that I missed You. The Black Shirt Has Got a White Shirt Underneath I saw As She Opened The Buttons of it.. “Thank You it is What I am here For.” Puppies And The Pool Of Powder—Barn Dough Puddles Coincide With The Grass That Was Molded to accompany The Yard—Around the Edges Of The Pool…To provide a little bit of time For you to stomp Your Bare-Feet Before you Place them into Water. Because I don’t really think that you’d want to be able to get the mud into the water… And Make the Water Black. Why Would You Want To do A thing Like That ? She Took A Shower Around 6:00PM And Then walked down to the park and spread out onto the benches… A Long Time She sat there To See The Part of The hill where The Dirt Falls And where A Spring Runs Down. “Spring Runs Down” —Introduction—they laughed they laughed no-one every had a feeling that You’d Make it. I put the bunny back in the nursery with the hair pin that I took from the raven’s Wings.. And I fastened to my Shirt.. I will not Be Foolproof.. Then I scattered The Rabbit’s Stuffing in The Garden out-back after I tore into the material with The Hair Pin…And another Boy came through the Fence and Looked In it to See Me…. Standing there With The Stuffing Profusely Coasting down to my Shoes… As I held the Rabbit At Chest Level…. <3.>I will take you through the sand with me, won’t that be a time that we’ll have together—just you and me. I will try and find something that is a remainder of the “Spring Runs Down” they laughed they laughed I took out the White Bunny Rabbit from the nursery and I smeared tar all over it. And then I tore its stuffing out… And I scattered it all over the Floor… Or the Nursery Afterwards… I gathered it up into a Pillowcase… And I went from the nursery into the Backyard and I Poured The Contents Into the Small Circular Pond, out-back… When I went back into the nursery the cloth-skin Of the Rabbit remained and I lifted it up and hung it on a Plastic Clothes Pole… and Then A Red Light Shone out from underneath It… Jeff Was Standing There And he Had on A Gray Hat. He Tore the Rabbit from out of my hands.. And Stuffed it into His Pockets and I Had A Conclusive Break in how I spoke.. The Words Would no longer Come Easy.. To me they Just Spurred from my Mouth and they Stopped in my Lips and they Could No Longer Seamlessly Roll From the Tip Of my Tongue—when Jeff Put the Gray hat onto the Plastic Clothes Pole.. The Light Started Strobing and It swayed into My Blurring Mouth. “Perils Of Paulette—he showed us his side after he removed his shirt and he sat on the edge of the bed—the burn was really horrible—all of the nerves had been destroyed—he said that when he felt his side all he could feel was like a moss over wood—I asked him if I could run my fingers across the scar and he said yes! I’d never felt a burn Before—it has a strange itchy feeling to it—there was an incredible pleasure though before I kissed my fingertips—I decided that I would never wash my hands again because I had brought myself so much pleasure from caressing the burn. I told him that he was inspirational to me—then said that there were other scars on his body which he’d acquired during the same accident, he’d fallen into a fire when he was younger—there were scars on the backs of his legs and all over his ass—he let me put my hands on them—I kissed the scars on his buttocks—and I hoped that there were mars on his testicles as well—I held onto the damaged backs of his knees as I took his cock in my mouth—I moved my Tongue all over the tip of it and then I pushed it against the Roof of my Mouth—and it started spurting all inside my mouth—there was a warm taste to his cum it rather tasted like Salt—Water—his Cock resembled a Blue Whale—I saw it a lot because He sat on the edge of the bed stroking on it while he ran his other hand up and down on his scarred Side—he Shot The Cum all over his legs—or sometimes it Flooded into the tuft of his public hair if he’d chosen to Lay on his back while he jerked himself off. Spring Runs down—there is much salt to report near the sea—the Clinging that it does with the sea and the Rocks. I was terrified when they leaned me over the steering wheel—and they put a rod into my Asshole And Then When They tied me To The Clothes String.. They Made Marks With Orange Chalk on my Testicles… And they drew a pretend Burn On My Side… And Forms which resembled saw—blades up and down my legs. There was a dotted line—which she wrote her name on and she dotted the I in her name by drawing a heart—then she gets into wetter kisses where she has got tongues in her mouth—later she’ll get into Sex. The State: Arkansas –introduces Paulette to Starvation. I was a different man when I drove in my Dodge And I was Prime Old. Kick the Fan—that blows away from your Face—folded out of paper… And I Don’t Even Know Which other Shapes I was Planning on sculpting out of the same paper that I was Using When I molded it.”

Chapter—3—in which Daphne Writes a Cinema Script.
Those were the bells which He-Put HighOver the formations Of his tiny vamped room,-ringing as if they were HighUp on a Casket that carried his figure off,-stayed fermented,- “I did, can.. not,”-“Respect standing off the FirstTiming”,-Running speedily over to the farther homes,-plodding to Their fences,-“So I could get with determination on top of Where I see my name, what I had too in my blood, wait.. Don’t tell me, wait don’t tell me,-I’m gonered”,-As he kept Up on foot, the stars peeled over the footpath, laughing to Realize all that it is ‘round the time of night,-“You’ll roll me The scent I faced away”,-Then.. he.. got.. a hold of his Twirf,-“He could take me to the loss”,-“Do you cone over”,- “Jus’ ‘cause”,-flashed his smile unrepressed on the irreversible darting up of the pillar,-In DayLight stroved back to the home’s walls,-where he was in consolable company,-Bye, beginning of the NewDay,-I felt underneath Me,-Then his time here had managed InPassed,- “Andres Boharp”-loved to see the MorningPath-In a series of steps,-A misconception of happy Moments,-He had the tassel in his field of sight As he had quickly awoke, strolled onto the fields,- Trouble completely estimated,-3 reaches of where The houses were laid with invisible people,- “Slow.. Slow..”,-BottomPressed being ain’t that bad, if you were along with he,-Andres ducks, He thinks, underneath them, as the sky itself Disintegrates,-“Up… I said down”,-This is no Ecking lie, the day you die and the day you grow Old enough to get to that point were 2 of the bigger Downs of your life,-Lost: Andres slept there amongst the Curdled roses,-laid his nape on the stone circles,-It is an Extremely good sentiment,-smears his physical self in a Wolf’s paste,-can’t take care of his purpose,-then they’re Said as to’ve been down running amongst the fields,- Will I see your eyes,-He disregards that,-another card that he fumbles with:’Will We Hear From You’,-50-,I WATCHED 40MORE disrecuperations as I folded my Outstretched ankles onto the finestones,-Andres begins Working on something from a time ago,-Carefully, to Not lose what is his,-behind this nature,-He lifted his Nape BackUp from the stone circles as nighttime fell OnceMoreOver,-leaned BackOver the FootPath to take Quickly to merge past the houses,-NOW,-one of the Thoughts he searches for is a RealFancy: A blushing pool Of AquaRed where a CrystalPetal rose unfolds as the Sounds of mandolins ring thru off the HighWalls,-A damaged photo which had been prior in a locket, rests in the center of the rose’s bud,-It quickly fastens BackUp,- His eyes were the sole recorder of the motive of its exposure,- Finally he passes the last of the last of the houses, and he slips into his own home<>After the door latches behind him,-UpThru the leaning Staircase,-After that thru the hall,-His bedroom door Latches behind him too,-A trough of lilies sits over in the Room’s RightCorner,-The bed is covered solely by a sheet,-A table rests unsteadily on its uneven legs,-his dresser sits Too with only a mirror placed atop it, leaning ‘gainst the FrontWall,-He lies on the bed gazing up at the ceiling at The map of stars that is taped UpThere,-“Saturn.. don’t You know who I am, you know where I am, only time Could forgive me, pasts, me, couldn’t take it in the least Always from here, now,”-Surely it will be the same, he walks passed the StageLine mark which he draped over his ‘STARTEL’ pass,-Stares OutThru his window that he UpLifts,-Sends wishes to all OutThere who too stroll his FootPaths,-“Freedom and not much time, lets do Something, away to a wild”,- The OnComing Morn’ is not the duplicate routine,-He Stands on the remains of a ventilation shaft which was Protruding from the thick muck,-A WoodWinds course Chime seems to stimulate the knocking thru it,- “Where’s the stranger”,-“I heard the dream UpAbove the GasLights, I heard the tears in the DustHarp when I was hanging from my knees”,-up all around your street,-I am not a man who immediately signals beauty, so.. When you start dropping down, don’t look at me, just Stand there, so then you let me go,-The strangers creep Thru it,-Feels like rips in Andres shoes, caressed over his BareSoles,- MY PAST TIMINGS- Boharp, I’m all in the hell out of here, the safety measures And precautions were as taken,-YES, YES, YES,- I readily waltz the TwirfGrounds,-You’ve got to move on, Hear Ye let me thru, Hear Ye let me thru,-The crown sits off to the side of Andres, ready and too free,- He Yells, “Father this is too bold”,father when you lift me up in my youth,-Fix my love in the years that I planned this,-What I’ve had my eyes onto,-He Yells, “Father call my name”,- The squelch from the IvoryGullet OutLoads the ScatheRoar,-Then we’re asking just ‘Who’ is this person,- We find him like you or I,-Then what the hell for!,-The Gleaming Trio Trogg, one is the adversary, two is the Emergence of independence, leave number 3 as the Flame that etches your portrait,- HOW MIGHT I ASK Exactly Six ‘O Clock, “Andres Boharp”,-The PolarCaps,- He reaches down for the glass he sat by his BedSide,- Knocking it over as he does so,-Must find a rag to wipe it Up,-An echo breaks over the HollowMoor,-it just takes off And carries you so FarAway,-What were you waiting for All this time,-you should have chose this LongBefore,-Why did you not come here, You’ve given up on my life,-The figure of a child appears in the corner of Andres’s Room, bouncing a ball ‘gainst the wall,-Andres sees Himself walk across RedSand, fall FaceFirst into BlackWater,- Then the figure vanishes, the sound of the ball hitting ‘gainst The wall ceases as Andres Realizes the aloneness of the Place he is in,- I REALLY WILL GO: THIS IS KILLING ME Stay to repeat the same form and function of my ShellLife, Some , how can I say I’ll go,-I turn over from my Stomach and I discover a marsupial’s pouch has a appeared There,-It contains an assortment of jagged stones,-they cut my Chest when I lean back on my shoulders,-The clicking of songs Rings thru the room,-HEY, HEY, if you’ll StayOn the promiscuous presence,-What’s the doubt of the DustHusk, A mere haphazard for my SullenBottom,-A shelf sits there In the room with a number of jars on it which contain fluttering Butterflies,-Andres is lurched directly toward these, hears a Whisper, lies out on the sidewalk as if he were making a SnowAngel,-I wait to see,-Where do I go with the truth and Fate of my karma,-I am stumbling over my filthy hands, I Must clean the muck from them,-no time like now to splash Them in cold water,-As I am waiting to know this AllAlong,- Wait longer here and indeed the FarOff,-The lights go off In the hall,-There is no longer a friendly step to steer me,- I cower into the most shaded corner,-and too can only wait,- Then some GoodNews is brought as Vera comes thru the Only DoorIN&OnlyDoorOut,-Frail Sinking start of the mist-like Fall Evening,-Here she will serve her plank as the only relief Port in this home on a stem,-Here is the scientific ruse of the time that is taken from me,-Vera’s face is part of the KickedOut flites I have here endured,-She takes a place by me on the BedSide, leans back ‘gainst the wall silently, smiling,-After She is gone,-the evening becomes a FlashPoint,-A heavily Lifted flask,-‘O slip farther & farther away, ‘O hold on holding Lovely silver as the best interception of confederacy,-As the Evening grows on me, there is no better or no worse,-As the RainFalls PryDown pushing on the tree branches, -the pounce sound that they make is nothing new to me,-I fell finely AllRight,- and I have got all of myself back,- THINGS OUR SISTERS DID “Andres Boharp”, in a hat of straw walks to where the dragons sleep,-The mouth of the beast that can take RiverRun in a single gulp,-The stories to tell when he will hold her in his arms again,-The GreatMight is in the loins of the beast,-where the CityFalls, walking a distance out of his way, Andres Boaharp Comes to the SleepPoc,-The trunks of wood that lie around There are freshly singed by a gasping drivel of flame,-Now He Seemingly appeared younger with right or wrong,-He looks BackOut to a lawn watered by sprinklers half your size, half Your age,- What is this assessment of this,-Precluding Vera, I see her again, I’ve got to describe this as fleeing into a packed Audience,-In the swirl of hues, on the CropMark above the Frame she is circled by sprites,-They DropDown and peck her Cheek again and again,-She steps near a satyr who’s playing his flute,-Again, YES, YES, YES, the canyon devises the familiarity that I fill with the strange faces thru the house’s passages during the nighttime,-Its Wideness sets it aside,- There, I think I do fit here well,-Being pressed down the sides Of it where you’ve got to.., too I will be there,-With my life in my Hands, can you tell I only like the way you feel,-Do not look Back here, you’ll never catch me here, We’ll walk the banal Floor,-No… More.. No.. More..,- ‘O Great No-one else decides,-Andres discovers that his toes were bitten by spiders,- Leaving them with a covering of tiny BloodBlisters,-As he Soaks them in a basin,-Its clear water is colored slowly By a spreading separated redness,-I mistook a chance Or two,-He cleanses their burgeoning infections with Cotton swabs,-After they’re soiled, he places them in a Jar, and shakes them,-Then he thinks what the hell does He know anyways,-He is looking for perfection?<>The Sky again disintegrates,-Andres stands atop the bed,- Jumps from it,- Lands on his feet as he hits the floor,- Repeats this action over&over ‘til the sun rises,-Andres Boharp-fills a cantaloupe with throwing dice,-also He lodges a sword into a watermelon,-then he dresses In a suit of armor,- to duel with his reflection,-after Unprying the blade from the melon’s shell,-He throws it Briskly into the mirror which he stands to face,-its glass Goes to pieces,-He comes, strangely, his fluids against the Chain mail that guards his loins, his orgasm causes him to Lose his justbarely balance that he was maintaining while Walking in the armor,-falls on his back,-the metal holding His erection from protruding straight up,-this heightens his Orgasm but the sperm pulses from his PrickHead to the Side softly, constricted from the jolt which it would be,-Reknows coming to the soggy creek bank, by the DeepSpot, Slipping off his clothes, going into the water, he shifts form, Yes, as he’s entirely under the surface,-now he swims thru the Water as an alligator, “THIS INVISIBLE HAM MELTS TO YOUR BAREBUCKLES”, masturbates by hitting his penis against his Stomach, his chest resembles an icebox when finishes,- Yesterday… Yesterday… Yesterday…,--He too misused her-His intercourse with a pleasingly large woman+2twice his Age, brought her back to his wedge locked hut, where he removed the shrubs that conceal it, that keep it being unknown, she asks him to take off his clothes, as she too feels a stir molet in her vulva, he has soon got his limp prick ‘A dangle,- resembles a playingcarddeck blackheart,- he begins his start, lifts up the fold of her flesh that meets with her pubic hair,-presses his brow to it,-she crawls atop him,- as he falls to the big mattress that serves as the only padding of the wedge tent,-as they hurry their coitus,-he’s ramped,-and he comes directly inside her,-and their genitalia journey is as the traffic in the streets,-she too quickly reaps climax,-hers is a Niagara Falls secretion, he believes he sees a maid of the mist As it pours out on his cock,-is strewn over his belly,-flecks his Eyelashes,-gets a dampening in his bellybutton,-As so now, He remembers a picture taken by Brassai of a whore seated on A toilet in a brothel,-remember she was photographed from behind,-glazing image,-“THE ARSE KNITT”,-Andres appears beaten in the day after the sleeptime which he lastnight lostout,-He sees a figure come thru the field,-it stands at the border of the fencing meeting the grass,-he has got the interest to walk down and inspect this, as he does come on to the figure, he sees the dark visage which reflects the exact replica of his self,-as he places his arm out to this,-it clearly evaporates,- he is badly scared,-and returns for home,-as he enters the front door, he falls,-gets up to close the door,-starts becoming made of clay,- the pieces of him are deformed as he touches things and takes steps,-half of his physicalself is gone as he falls to the bowl of water by his bed,-he submerges his face, it disintegrates. Only the shell of his chest, chunks taken out from his left there Legs, part of an arm too, these pieces of him lie there on the Floor of his room. AWAKENING YOUR SLEEPING HOURS Quickly gather the dog its bowl,-here’s queen,- adorns Cypress The beagle with a halo of green apples,-ties miniature lights that Flick, onto his paws-“YOU URR, THE STOMPER”,”PLEASE”, “NO, PLEASE”, can we give it back,- to’notallet,- the quay find electric, we lie on the couch everypart of these evenings in blankets, capes and towels, a bunch of sparrows start to cry on that night too, had your high yet, Ahh, with a “SEE”, he could place his finger in his urethra. I’m repulsed at first and then fascinated,-ask him if I can do it to,-he lets me,-feels like a gullet swallow of golddust,-he comes after I pull my small finger out,-says-“IT’S LIKE FUCKING YOURSELF”,-I still can’t believe it,- “THEY PUT A CATHETER IN THERE”,- I guess why not,-he’s Had a female Stick it in while sucking him, he comes at least 13teen times When that’s done to him,-Edge closer to the remainder and-series of doves flingout of his foreskin, like for the next trick I expect him to pullout a series of bright ribbons,- the next trail Is our morning breakfst,-he cracks open 3eggs, there are living toads in 2of them,-a four leaf clover in the 3rd ,-When I’m not here he says he masturbates to a picture of what is supposedly a mermaid, but the detail is too poor, too blurred for me to make out what it really is when he reveals it to me,-So,been,so,long-Puts Ox horns on Cypress and has him walk over a toytrain Set,-takes a dollar from his fovea,-there whether, there show how you fell off,-“HERE”, hand the glass of the storm, “WHAT YOU D..O..”?- The leaving room, of panic, of drawings of the mesmerizing Book for book of the dreams, someone’s hours & hours, No fuse, Please Now Enter- There are a series of Red Toy Blocks over the floor in a scatter, the Children who inhabit the Nursery by day have requested that their toys be left-out, ‘fore They hope to begin the next day where they stopped on the Previous,-There’s a toy wooden horse, it is not a rocking horse, It is a horse that stands on its four legs as a decoration in the Room, When this nursery is empty there’s a PinkFilm that lays On everything as a protective covering, in this room too, wishes Are granted, to we who go by the guidance of the daylight, the room At night is simply off all limits, cannot be entered under any cost, The nursery here in its SafeMode brings another alert, its Shadowboxes have dolls that one can, if they stand by the door, Hear a slight fairy music coming off of,-Put your head very close to the crack beneath the door, there is, if you will, a symphonic ambient melody to that room, it hollers un-crimped, first stanza is a god ringing to my ears, if monks were chanting an ‘OM’, this has been kept somehow in this room, is it in the ‘Table of the Corner’-referred to as so for that it can’t be ever removed, Sometype of force just holds it in that spot,-TWO-on these times, In the house, one of the children wakes at 5:45 AM and goes to the kitchen, at this hour it is obviously empty of servants, this child is driven by unlawful hunger, burrowing up from deep down in his belly, he takes pans from the cupboards and he begins preparing meals, he’d wrecked a havoc, but now he’s grown so accustomed to doing this that he manages to do so without any significant mess, in times there’s not even a sign that he’s been there, as he cooks the meals he devours candies, that it took him a time to discover ‘fore they were treats which were hid from the Children, he rummaged through the HighUp cupboards and Discovered these marvelous sweets, after he stuffs himself with The meals, he cleans the pans and is then drawn to the music that comes from behind the nursery door, he falls asleep in front of it and is found always the next day by the adults who attribute this to sleepwalking, -THREE-sometimes in the nursery I see 3 of the Children stand aside one-another with their arms outstretched. Then a bright white piece of tarp is stretched across the room, one of them gets onto it, the others toss him in the air while atop the tarp, I see then a thick blackness go- over the walls, floor, objects and the space too. The room is one other thing all together. “Brontis Willems” –who gave an ideal Amongst these rooms, he could have easily kept his entire life inside of here, what puzzles me of him, is his discovery of the home’s omens. Part of the house is a maze, which spews endless directions, Each passage leads to a wideopen roomway, were a small Scale model of the next maze sits, though this is also an Illusionary state, these are mock layouts that represent what Is not in the next maze, there’s also quite a contradiction When one finds not a maze at all but a experience, a segment From living, Brontis discovers himself in a still-life of the violate Playroom, when a demon appeared and tore Brontis into pieces. He woke in a pit of cobras, crawled to a corner, there was an Incredible heat, felt like a sexual tinge coming from the terror Of the slithering of them, has the blue and yellow stung into his Eyes, he is not Him. As a dolphin he swam quickly thru the night Water of the an ocean, too long was the pleasure, too many positive miles to be true. Therein the CobraPit he felt the temperature sting, he entered, some damn how, coitus with a cobra, ends by biting its head-off, as its fangs cling to his nostrils, blood frothing, the poison from the bite, and he has enough time to live so he can un-lodge the snake’s severed head from off his snout, reassumes the LowPath, he discovers that he’s an accordion player in a asylum for the insane, thru a screaming dozen, he uses his musical gifts to turn them to a slow jig,-TIME FOR<>A SOMKING<>BREAK<>in the toilets, there are no doors on the stalls, inmates sit there defecating directly in Brontis’s field of sight, drops his cigarette while watching one man wail with constipation while seated nude on a toilet bowl,-using his top musical skills to free the inmates bowels, bringing out his feces with a pushing In on the squeeze- box. He disrobes in the Manor’s bathroom, looks at his nudebody -walks to his bedroom, does not put on his nightshirt, sits unclad shivering on a Red stool watching the moonlight break onto his Room’s balcony,-Lays on the Manor grounds strangled to death, with razor-blade slashes on his ankles, testicles and penis, a mirage of leaves dropping out as a halo over the scene of his Early Death.
Fin Of Chapter—3

Chapter—4—in which Daphne Writes A Poem.
“The Wolves”
They Came Like Runners Through A Sordid Autumn
They Came to here as thieves on a Gold Crescent
Through Battering Tally
The Seal of the Breech, Confirmed to Smile
In a figure They Came As The Creeping Light Brisk over all the Dead.
In the Land that was as Rows of the Sharp Wood
Complies to the Spreads of Teeth
Moving As Constant for Days as Wheels
What To Lose the Spool of Rotation
Come once Morning Angel that Rests ‘til the End
Has Brought Co-filtered News
Has stated the Spray of Yellow Decayed Tassel Bring them on the Foil, Make beliefs of themselves and a fool of them knowing.

They Have got Nothing Other than one Another
Have seen themselves through the starts and Ends of Days
Their Whole Time is Like A Cycle
They Come to know the Time from the Mid
The Blotch of all those packed, When we Do Stop within the Trees and it Smells As Though it were the Start of Spring
It is Still Relatively A Very Warm-Winter
We have made Friends and Along the Way We Have lost them
SO, All we can take as we Pass is a Memory of what we think would be and what was, could be aside a Grand-Dust Spilt But we know that over it All is Just Time, No Matter How, Measured in Minutes, Seconds and Hours—We Can promise things and Never Do Them, Never Exactly Carry Them Out—I don’t Know why He Now Does Not Feel Hurt.

“I Am Looking for someone Who if I will Affirm—Might be the saving grace of Tomorrow, Tough ‘til the next savior Comes through on the Way.”
—Then We Found—Nobody Just kicked Across legs of Dropping Grass, There Are No Longer People—

But We Have a Shot of Him From Torso-Up-He’s Not Got On His Shirt—A Scatter of Scrapes ‘Cross His Chest—There are very heavy Leaves Which Ran off a perfume like Salt—

Necessarily—Their Pact was a Promise—A Deal amongst Them—I Know The Sweet-Root which taste Like A Lime—Peaceful as He Lay Spread Without a Shirt on the Mud—

“Shh..h, Nobody is Here To See.”
—He Placed His hands As holds over her breasts—Fingered her nipples And Softly Kissed the side of her neck—As He Held her there, He Believed in the way of people that he had Forgot—Remembered them All—But the Feeling was not any Closer—Quiet—Lines of her Face—Making Love with her in the Mud—Yes, It Would be cold—Once More—A Snow will fall as the cover on the earth—In the cold weather nothing is any farther away—There’s a Gripe and a Rise to This Place—The Soft Hills Of Grass—And the Punctures on my Calves—Are Hardly anything that I want to decide on—Right-Now—I Could make a lot more of This if I choose—But I Will Never have Had Done Such a Thing—Never Could Spoil this Great-Place as Long as you’ll notice that my Name is never Spoken—It is Never Brought-up—I am below having Been Remembered Long Enough.

Having Climbed the Swing-Set’s Top-Pole
He Played in the dirt and his face is filthy—
He Fell On the dirt and in doing so, Stained his Knees—
The Light Moves as he’s Ready to come—in
The way home is out of his neighborhood Friend’s
Home and then Around The Corner—
Down the Streets as the Streetlights start to glow
He Looks upward to the tree branches
And Sees the Glow growing greater
The Hum and the Yellow
And Soon Everybody is Gone
Lights of Homes turned Off
Doors Locked and Shut
Blinds Drawn
Can you see Anyone
He Carries himself more quickly
Blow-Hard Breath
He Will Forget All Of This
He Will Never Recall the Fear that he Felt
Maybe he’ll Grow to become a Calm young-man
Will any part of his face show the fear that crossed his lips
Can you still read the Questions that You had
Going passed this, I have come far from it—Quite
I had the Watts of a Vision where all is over
Though time will only tell
You will have seen this world that is in sight
You’ll See it unfold
Placid Young-Man in a perfect way is one of the people who knows how to try
There’s still time to see how
It seems like a Dissolve
It counted then but later—everything was Gone
They Pushed themselves very hard—Broke the Skins of the bottoms of their Shoes
Is it, You think—Also Another thing that Dissolves
Once he saw a sight that represented Her
At least what he thought was her
But still he’s not come to notice
How so you conceive what you wish you’ve not seen

Again it is just start and stop but at Last
A Weakness
Then from the crumbled scatter beneath ice
It Will Rise again
A Soul Not talking
A Soul Being Pulled
Having the Sun pulled down over its eyes
Though They cannot see how this recompenses

What Michael wore was Brilliant Yet Simple
A long coat and thrill over his Body
Fastened back very long hair
He would walk , Stop, and for a moment he would laugh about Something that he remembered, a person so far in the past—was lost, may Have been only a Short-time Ago

A Sunrise which we Made Plummet
Too much or too loose
Nothing and he could not understand why he was on the Grass
Had a doubt, ounce of Fear
Came slowly to pass
He Expected this, though he was very angry as the others Believed that he was very hurt by it

Nothing Again A Rainbow in the then Outdrawn Sky
As He Passed the layer of Pronged Steel
Bolted Down
He Was Sure
He Had Been a Sifting Attacker
Hopeless Rusted fence
There’s What Grew lighter
Lifts the Role of harlequin from himself
Though does wake not able to breathe
Mouth taste like he will have a Cold
He let-down the lights in the room and the anticipation grew tense—as the muscles in his back did too
Can go out to the Night
Just holding the open window as the Air passed in it as his Remains for you to pick-up
He left behind part of himself—But you have something to Remember him by—The smell of his body and the flavor of his skin—They Came like shots of a Gone Trust—A facet of a place once drawn—Part you close, and you go on, and you go on—Shots of the right Destination Find their marks in the Winter Snow—More I think happens among them—Though it sinks in their hungry bellies—Looks to the North—Without You—I swear that I Distrust my own choice—

A Quiet Will Come from the Dirt and everything will be different, Here no lies exist—Carry us over a sting that is briskly Defamed—all and all—one more voice—Erthid lay wide awake—Though he Need be—He was still running—Jotted Hills that speak with Grass—He was Alright—Pressed his hands across the Grass tips as he ran at Closer terms—He Wouldn’t have to think that this has got to stop—

Erthid is breathing heavy—Headlights shine in his eyes—Glints—Moves back from the car that would kill him with one little bump—He’s Alone—An Alive star outdone—He’s got much inside—Sounds like what he’s explained—He cannot Explain any of it—All-So—Of Value—He Still Sings:
-up on the door-
-up on the door-
-You’re wearing what you blur and complain-
-Is that what you want-
“I am Brave” .. Thought Erthid. It Is long—the days are Quick—But around the time of night—he keeps moving—Darts his heels to the tip of Wood—A forest which is impenetrable goes now for miles—Which will Mean ‘Days’—
Erthid stopped in a place where the Skeleton of a cabin was—He carefully stepped around its splintered wood—Shreds on moldy windless Rot—In His Bare-feet—He turned-up their soles—Licked his thumbs and rubbed the dirt from them—That was then on his thumbs onto the legs of his pants—Black over the Tattered Green cloth—Pushed back his shoulders and he continued—Ran by a Lake as the Sun was going down—He saw the symbol of his own smile smeared across—Erthid kept thoughts in his head as he moved—Still Received long after all--“Who”—Now if he would see the faces of the people—Who would be Sure to not get a good look—He would look away if he spoke to them—A Son—Down—So everything’s Gone—Tense muscles in his back—Pushed face—Spurting hair—As He Falls too—Grown—But keeps going now on four legs—He can still Sing:
-Little Blackbird-
-Little Blackbird-
-Shelved the Lot-
-May will be as any
-Little Blackbird-
-Little Blackbird-
-Shelved the Lot-

Beams on the Towers as he is coming into the area—he is past the Wood—Maybe he’s in the civilized district—There will be people—It will not be easy but it does come as an opportunity—Erthid Saw Michael—He was Waiting for him as he came to the curb—Past loud cars pulled into the lots on the strip—Others pulling out—They both had a chance—There needs to be a greeting between them—They embrace even though they do not really want to—There is a way to do Their things. Have got to make ourselves do Them.

She was taken by the crud underneath his fingernails as she poured the Milk—Her hair placed back—Makeup under her eyes—She had Never seen anyone like them before—Wondered who they were—They did not say much—They would pay and leave—They were gone, they were gone… As they’d came—And they would hold this as a memory that they’d soon forget all and all—

The Strip is not without Flaw—Removing yourself from one lot and replacing yourself to move among the others—Erthid will skip socialization—He will Go around the empty lot—Put his feet over the cement—His voice remains stuck in his Throat—where is Michael—still Back there—A Way—There’s not much point to part ways—By Michael Having Looked back-So, might they have Done so—

Erthid—Like a Glass once reflects the raw rips of his flesh—Making sounds then going into space—Erthid saw very much in the Mirror with his father’s picture fastened onto it—We Are well—Again—The picture is of father reaching his hand over the Side of the porch in the home where—Erthid grew-up—How, Gone, Wouldn’t that be special—Erthid sees a strange illusion in the cracks by the dumpsters—A man only a foot high—A White Figure who knows the Hard Swoop—Erthid changes his attention and it is that he was lifted from that—Free of a partner—now—He Needs A Person Who He’s not Familiar—With Somebody—Who Will Make Him Groan and Fail him—One with Whom he can let-go—He’s Stolen Ties—Outwardly Questions on the sideboards of his emotions as he kept Silent—This is the best place—out here in the wilds you’re a free host—You’ve only become your own man—
You’ve Only become a small speck that can be Spurted all about a Bank—A Bed of rocks—Skips like bumps—I know a friend—Is indeed waiting—We know these men after a long time—She and I—Amber—Not Alone—Amber placed her black hair over—Her bust and was in a deck of torsos—Plain cheeks with no arms or legs—she does not want to go to too much trouble—She Remains the Gallant frame on the screen-door as she waits in the porch-chair with the light left on—she knows how things would not be—Can calm us by telling us not to expect the worse and the Good-Way Of Things—Right now Erthid feels beautiful—Yet Rallied—And when he’s Got Amber in his Feet—Climbing up under his toenails—Well, From here in the Woods he places his face in the Day—What at dusk—He Chose to Illustrate How I am suppose to Know—

The Street Bricks have had marbles Roll Among their Cracks—Have had water drip on their tops—Erthid is home, Finally, Enter by the wind—Wash the dirt from his face, leave the note after having ate at the table—Having gotten to sleep in a bed—Was that rare in those days—Are we’re leaving things unanswered—Questions to Erthid have had to bring up blanks—Boys hanging on the pole by the Grass—The drop of mud that falls down to the pit at the bottom—A Golden Puddle—Of Water—Hit their knees and hear chimes—Spit at their reflections to manage their dissolves—Erthid Also hung on the pole and lifted his legs from the Ground—Swung ‘til it may have gave-way—Tossed Downward on the mud embankment—Plummeted to the Golden Water—Found a mirror in the water—held it to look at his self—Changes his clothes before he leaves home—The morning came, and he was gone—Had brought money from the Cube He Kept by his bed—There’s nothing that needs to be said—And however people keep looking at him very funny—For a moment—They feel that they can be friendly—then they feel that they cannot—He’s not a Person which They Particularly Trust—They Feel awkward towards him—In Other Words—

“Here is the day—And I am gone.” Said Erthid—
Rolling ‘til my feet don’t stop
Wise and Hard
Not claiming to claw alone
A lesser thing
I might not be A person
That You laugh at

She washed sheets
And hung clothes to proceed to feed
Straying Kids
Hold them with love
‘Til the rocking climbs a 4th tension
A piece at the tip
Price of the Top
She hardly goes outside of here, Anymore
Though, Erthid made her believe That she was looking him in
The face
He took out a white kitten
Left it at the steps of her home
Blew on a Flute
So she would be less scared and not flapped to move Back with fear
He drops his upper-lip on the Welcome Rug
And presses the Scent of her bare-feet
Will the clothes still be hanging
Still be wet
If the sun stays up for a Whole day And night
Erthid does not like that
He can move much faster in the Dark
Across the line… Across the line..
Taste Tomorrow… I can Taste Tomorrow
Underneath my tongue
Erthid had, Has , He Has much to worry about as any other man; Later her face just claws its way to having its own spot by the window
Even Erthid Doesn’t Strive for that desired effect
He, in this case, Cannot pick or choose

-As Fast As-
-You Can-
-Catch Me-
-As Fast As-
-You Can-
-Catch Me-

1.Q—How Long Has She Been Gone?
2.Q—When Was The Last-Time You Saw Her?
3.Q—Did She Seem To Be Behaving Oddly—Has She Been Sighted Anywhere Since?

Is Stuck in the bottom of the water
In the place where no-one will ever look
I know you don’t know what I mean
Her blouse has become a friend of the ducks
I trust she took the necessary precautions
When we find the body
Then she will have a smile on her face
It is desperate to claw a bush
Beat the crows away with a metal piece
See her face half coming out of the water
That is luck

I put my feet
Into a perfect spot
They wouldn’t get
Stabbed on the bank-edge
I wouldn’t push the Horses into the water
3 pictures of my body and then a shot of the still-water

I put my feet
Into a perfect spot
My feet wouldn’t be
Jabbed by calms—I was a ruffled confused child
I moved without A Goal
When I got up everyday
I put my feet on a perfect spot
I know what is in-store

Hollow lines of static
I am glad they are shown like streaks that fade-out
A good-time that you’re having yourself
Hollow Lines like streaks of static that I am sure shall dissolve

She lays with her face almost into the Pillow
As though she could suffocate
Her lips are Badly swollen As she places on red lipstick
Stands by the mirror with one leg upon the sink and she smears a buttery gel over the blemishes on her thigh
Causing a little damp secreted white puss

I did have a better life
Then I didn’t, Thought Erthid
No way to accord to standards
Are their rules documented
Go a little easy
My mind is green I stated
Before I will go right from here

He would be moving again
In some way that his life was sending him onward
Didn’t know if he was sure why he continued moving
Erthid fell down
Though, Not hard, bruised his arm
Should show this to everybody who gets up from something
He goes under a natural source of light that is yet so bleak
All it illuminates is Erthid and the Hollow Forest
The bleeding course he can never stray from
People did not take it back
So even without blame
It does evolve firmly driven trust
I know what he was thinking
Of crawling under the porch For The Night
Their home, it was close by

Sleep there for the night
Near pipes or pieces of glass
A toy
A balloon rises from out of the sand
Where he layed the side of his face
It rose-up and a kiss was imprinted on it
Will have to move out from the home as normal hours are closing
So no-one close-by will give notice to him
She will raise her head from the pillow
Soon in the late morning
Erthid could taste dust on his lips
Maybe sand on the roof of his mouth
There’s a trouble
Under there with him
Below the house something slips upon his legs
Making a home across his chest
Though he feels the dank
A musk
Having not showered
Everything here that will put him anew on his feet
He will do this for a beautiful narrator
A muse he cannot net

A trap sprung open
But one that does not activate
If he were to place his feet into it
Erthid stood above the embankment
Thinking he could possibly slowly crawl down the side of where it drops
Had second thoughts
He will Have to take the long-way Through the course of lands

The same push
A black give up
Erthid has to put his hand into the door-frame covered by a cypress—peeled green paint—frayed badly—Erthid steps through and then it has become the middle of the afternoon—there’s camera tracks that push the Roll Of Brown rough-land—oceans in the face—

Take yourself
Down from there
I see red-trunks
Spilling to Erthid’s Feet
You’re like the prominent selection
Done on notice
Take yourself down from their flat-mats

Erthid found a cricket in his curls—under the locks of black hair—will have a banner on his home—to welcome him—he approached a man that he found his self unable to talk to—they were nearly to a stand-off—circling around each other---flavor in the mouth is clay—there’s the remainder of the car’s shell—the girl stood strongly in blue—as we see her getting smaller and smaller

So far away
I have never
Seen the separate
Long black hills
So far away people I dreamt from the cool springs
Along the plentiful miles
I return from where I came but alone Is how I go
A blessing ironed on my skin

“How far does this Road go.” ..Erthid was asked—you know, too far, too far—is all he says as he too must continue—he isn’t very curious, there is a fierce pact to Heaven—Erthid behaved strangely but came to life—Surprised—by the rising sense of place. My foe—my lesser pact to Enemies—a fat stomach—bulging folds of flesh—takes off his clothes and his belly would smack against his loins—paints a black circle on his chest and stands in a circle of Rocks—he paints in two red-dots for eyes and a red arch upside down for a smile—he put a crown of goose feathers on his head—stood in the circle—nude—he smashed duck—eggs with his bare-feet—and ate a raw piece of flesh—uses some of the dripping blood from it to serve as lubrication for his masturbation ritual—he would stroke himself to the point of his split and then hold off for several seconds—take very deeps breaths—and then resume the up and down motion—‘til splotching his Cum on the stones—a dribble outside the circle—plants around it just start to melt down—there with his large body and enflamed face—he glints his eyes—gets on all fours and walks around as a Wolf—going so far as putting on a wolf’s skin—he’s taken some ointment from the mouth of a possum—he placed that on his armpits—he could carry himself—so quickly—despite His Size—When he Ran on a All Fours—He relaxed on this occasion—will Go—to his Own Home—the one that he shares with his wife and their young son—slept in a warm bed—holding that Thought—he felt that he should cause much danger—he will go To The boy’s bed—maybe he is Small Enough that he can carry him in his Mouth—Smeared cold-red to dry the Next Day when they’ll run so far that he’ll never have to assume the form of his self, that of a man—Despite the sickness—He Can hide the corpse—I think—well first he gets a warning—there are beautiful children who also live in the trees—look-down to him as they send a Hex to his bad thoughts—he changes his course—to head to the waterfall—splits his lips on stones—hung from a chin-up bar but breaks ‘cause of his weight—So he could maybe place his head into an oven—if he cannot lead his so desired life—I would have never believed that—he would Have Returned to the Stone circle—The Next-Night—he would kill himself—his blood now over the stones—but Ants and Dragon flies got to inhabit his spewed stomach—laying flattened on the stones—a Small Flower Drops from his wide open startled eye:
Thinking this minute
Is he knocking about
The room above—smells
Of an unlikely boy
Close the wood-stove
From frightened kettle
“It was you, Erthid.”—You were still lit by the hall-light and I heard someone wanting to let you in—Renny—Dressed in her bed clothes—holding a piece of copper—keeps tossing frost at Erthid—lays on the bed with her—they come to inhabit a way of English—“No, I never saw her again.”—Renny, A ladder made much noise—on impact with the seam on the roof—had contact with outside him—Erthid—Don’t waste time—

A ball of cotton
A wheat house
Vanished ever
Vanished ever
A ball of cotton
A wheat hole
Vanished ever
After the smile is made with Renny Laughing at easy jokes
We pulled from the lot for what seemed like a duel—3 times to show—the image of Erthid stepping away from the curb—jumps down on glass—hard cutting his bare-feet—colored sand—like sources—and a sickbed for silly death-time—
You have been so sad
In so long—do you
Want anything for
Yourself—sounds of
Sums—have a side
Of Crumpets—“Cow.”
There were men in dreaded masks—they’re at the wall—they looked at them—and they looked back—their masks seemed like ones that were going to have to Resemble Wolves—how can they be of Service to you to kind of give you a fear—to send you off—on your ship—try if the may—they insist to persuade you—I have the fresh bait that is the making of a Trap—energy around the placid stones—they’re dug Deeply down to the Soil—there’s nothing that you’re going to slip off of them—but a strong black curd—and then, there were men with a Red Musk on their pupils, not Afraid to get their fingers wet—he can’t Be Reached there, He no longer assumes this residence—is it just Old Evil—Stunk and a bile—wake-up the Fresh Hand—of Leaves—Renny had Dressed in a blue coat—and yellow knickers—A queer purple skirt—will take the long way to School—‘cause she’d got an early starting—takes her smothered face from the Pillow, fast—‘cause she sets the alarm to ring Before anyone Else in the House—what kind of Girl—is that—Renny wears a White Veil over her face, Prance, Prance, show yourself to all the ones on their last—feet—get out of his reach—

Erthid like the male consequence of climax
Has to find a smothered chocolate pepper
Cleanse yourself
Be affectionate to your soles

His body was a transparent—maybe—a bright green—like the skin of a Reptile—he wore a Red-Mask like a Lamp-Shade on his head—First appears in the Fuzzy black—Removes this—A long Human face—very tasseled bright red hair—Returns to human form—he wore a black suit—but his face was Ironically Young—chant of the sewing women—make their company in the library—has a stage in the far-back for theatrical productions –he comes there steadily as the villain amongst their work—Rupert, We’ll Remember that’s what his name was—is Remembered for his striking appearance—the Mess of His Hair—golden room of Puddles and Poles—He has got feet that were Starfish—Rupert sees the chain of Masks—Red hoods—Shades, coverings—Knocks some of them off with a Sword—Discovers that they were only Melons—He takes the Shape of a Chilled Coarse Brick House—lays in the stocks in the field—the Soil is in rows and lumps—he was there with Renny—she wore a long-dress despite the hot weather—they’ll return to the House—and a large hoof comes through the Roof—is just right-there in their Room—Rupert—takes a pin to prick it and it quivers—almost tosses the House to the Ground in fragments—Holds Renny in the lumps of Soil—Tosses her around by the Stocks—a leg of a lamb—Rupert holds in his teeth—as he is transported—from the stocks to the womens’ sewing room—Leaves there and he goes to the parking garage—underneath—he unlocks the door of an automobile—that is painted a tacky Gold Glitter—Has Difficulties getting the engine to turnover—in the Quake of Dislodged transportation Rupert will Go it on Foot—Slams The Door, angrily—gets out from the Garage—he has to cross Grass Hills—The thought of having to walk a dark-strip in the Night alone—Really causes him Trouble—there’s the large plastic head of a pig—its wide open mouth—is like that of a tunnel for people in autos—it rolls them through—a large plastic deer head too, with an open wide mouth—Rupert frowns in the dark and he sees a white hog going past him—it has gentle blue eyes—he asks the hog if it would be as kind as to transport him across the dark-strip—Christmas Place—has got to obscenely large statues in its front yard—Santa Claus—And also a Snowman—Both are jotting icons or will become so—Rupert laughs as he rode past there at night—Atop the White hog—“Here’s To Comfort”.—The eternal spirit and the house sitter—A green diner—yellow suns painted on the walls—Renny makes Friends with enemies in the house ‘til that only works in Parts—She is not a surprise Guest—She is A Visitor—
I have friends
Of my own
We never shoot
Atop the rock triangle
Making bad feelings
With my own friends
Of the world where I
Sit everyday starts in
The middle
Atop the pit of snakes
Pick-up the other end of the battered ounce
Erthid put a silk bra around his chest—Held The Stiff prick between his legs and painted his eyes—pulled back his foreskin a-ways to spurt his Cum far as it would go so it wouldn’t hit the hood and Just Dribble out—Receives a Prick in his anus as he is on his back receiving strokes to his shaft from the same intruder—Rupert has Cum into Erthid’s Anal Track—Tore the rim a bit—Has Received Erthid’s Cum as it was flecked onto this Chest—Transformed into small demons—Have got strawberries on the tips of their tails—Take the shape of Children and sneak into the toilets to eat their lunches—Persons in transit—Undergoing hideous change—complex—contradiction—but they will reveal all of themselves—to each other—Passages to feet rules knocked to the Ground—the most dreaded place that you should not go alone—Laughter from childrens ghosts—the specter of the girl I see in the old classroom’s window—I must finish quickly before the somebody arrives—Or I Cannot deal with this feeling—place the flag in the tunnel of dirt—a swirl of insects—but pears—fruit floating out from his inflamed nostrils—Feels waves from the state-box—gifts of love—I carry them in a tuft of feverish mold—

Hear a cool transit
Hear a cool transit
How can you know anyway
Erthid moving—the roll of waves upcoming is passed like the motion of his feet placed on the sand as he moves—going to their small brick-house, Renny lies stuck in Bed—Erthid will come to find mummy at the sickbedside after having waited at the Tunnel—Head of the pig to head of the deer—will fall with all his weight with Renny lying there, come right down on her breast—Fill in the brush of her hair across her Forehead—Lookup in his eyes from where she lay—So Much Good—So Much Good—They Came As Sketchy Flowers In Showing States, Not Justifying Cover.
Fin—of Chapter 4.

Chapter—5—When You Don’t know how alone you are.
I didn’t know how alone I was
I didn’t know that I was in fear of being alone too
I didn’t know to Pack Everything Up, Dora.
Dear Dora,
They’ve abandoned us all and God has Abandoned Us—I’ve seen the Way The Are And it Really Offends Me.
I’ve tried everything and I am miserable there’s no cure for my heart. I know how hard it is to find people who will stand by you I believe that it is next to impossible, or only sometimes do I believe and then I know that there’re people that I care about and that I would do anything for. I hope that you’re One Of them.
I didn’t know how alone I was
I didn’t know I was in fear of being alone too
I didn’t know to pack everything up.
They’re with us, I mean the ones that really do care…and they see that all we’ve got is a really small thing and there are barely that many People That Ever Care To See Who We are—so the ones we hold onto.. Will Be They who Are With us. When I walk by the Front of the house there’s Always a man who ask me If I Can Drive His Car For Him and if I can Take him somewhere But I don’t want to Take Him anywhere but I do realize that he Wants Me To Only come with Him.
I didn’t Know How Much Fear I was In.
Give my Mind another Chance to travel On.
They Packed Up all of my Things.
There Was Somewhere That I Ended up that I’d
Already Seen.
They’re All With Us But Still they’ve Abandoned Us all.
They’ve Tried Every Way Imaginable To sway Me But they cannot Break Me Down. There’s The Hall That’s painted Brown and I notice The heavy Curtains On The windows, They’re Blue—and They Come Down To only An Inch Distance to Hitting The Floor. The Last Door on the right in the Hall Is What I see Into Next. There’s A bed With a White Mattress—and A Yellow Blanket But there’s not Anybody Sitting On it—and A Little Bit Of Light Comes In But The Blue Curtains are Barely Spread. Dora, the home is empty but it looks like people were there Before but no there’re not any objects that Look Like Personal Possessions More so Just Items That Look Like They’re Necessities—They Were All Here I bet, But Then I wonder Where Did They Go?….
Spraying The Sandals
Daphne, you should already know how alone we are someone as experienced as you I would figure already knew that—conceptually At Least. I Know Too… Though—So now is a better time then any to figure it Out—I saw A Similar Hall Except that it was painted Orange And there Were Heavy Red Curtains on the windows…. And On The Last Door Left I looked in and there was a desk And Chair And A Lot Of Light Shone in---In fact it Got So Bright That it Seemed To Stop Me From Seeing Everything. The House Nothing.. Not Even very Many Necessities. I wonder why there are not any here?….I am not Down in here Near the desk with Plans to Do very Much.
A Sheath And Dip Dried Doves
We’ll let love be the action.
Spraying The Sands.
We’ll Let daring Sources Take Action To fare The Sand.
Daphne You Should already Know How Alone I am because I have told you before and there’s no real surprise that I am unhappy…. The Basement Does Have Windows that look straight up Out Of The Ground….. And the Light That Vertically Darts into them… Makes Me Happy Too….. And its cast Over My Shoulders… As I stood Right By Those Windows…. Daphne I want You To know that I care About You… But I realize how alone I am at the same time.
The Crash.
One Of Them rolls Into The Separation Ditch that Divides both Roads It turns Over a few Times And there are Still People Moving around in The Back As Then it’s To Catch-Fire. There’s a donkey Near The barn When the Other Car Pulls Up and a hedgehog Rolling in the Grass—and Then the Flowers Were Bright And Purple….. Also The Gas-Station Was Covered In a heavy Snow During the Winter it was Still falling down when we pulled the Car in…. And A few Times We Slid Trying To Get Out of The Lot. The other one turns over to it skids on the ice and is deflected off of a safety Ramp—Daphne got Tossed Around—and she Was Laying In The Back Still in A Pool Of Her Own Blood.. With Purple Ribbons Crunched up in her hair—she had gashes on her legs—which blood gushed from too—she was pulled out of the car by somepeople that Stopped when they saw the accident... Shortly After They carried her bleeding body to a safe spot.. the car exploded—somepeople inside died If They Were not already Dead Then they Were Killed By The Fire And Explosion…. There was such an amount of Blood In Daphne’s Mouth That She Felt As if She Was Submerged And Had Swallowed An Ocean Full Of it… She Could Feel The Tips of Her Ribs.. Preparing to Pierce her Lungs. The Gashes on her Legs Were Spread Open Like Folds And They Burnt As The Blood Came Forth. Her collarbone was also broken—and it was jotting up near her shoulder, her Little Fingers Had Been Snapped On Her Left Hand. She Felt her Ribs move a little Bit and then They Cut into Her Lungs She Gasped Hard… And More Blood Came Out—she really could not Breathe At All—the People Who had Pulled Her From The Wreck Couldn’t Do A Thing They Knelt Down Next To her And Know it Was The End They Knew She Would Die Before anyone Could Do anything….

The next thing I will remember is a bunch of people laughing and a million pebbles seemed to fill up my lungs and I am very not well today—a dozen little hits And lushes Stars And Gash—Daphne felt the sidewalk fall into both Of her Sides—and her rolled and her mouth opened up really, really Wide—her lips which covered with Blood—their Sweet Cuts Pressed into the Cement Also—this is one of those Nights when I won’t be able to make it out alive—from My House.

“The Thing that I remember After that was That everyone started to Cheer and they rose their hands up really high to the air and the sound that they Seemed to Make was Friendly And they Didn’t invite Me Inside Too.. I had to wonder what it was that they were Suspicious Of. And I will Not Understand Why They Didn’t Call Me Back To Their Places… A Little Bit of Laughter I Believe That I Caught The Tail End Of.. Why Do We Need Some person to Tell Us what Our Relationships Should be—I don’t see how they could accord To Any Standard—Thought Daphne.” “The Feeling in her Lungs Burnt Harder—the Little Stones Scraped Their Interiors—the Feeling of The Loss Of Breath And Then To Cut To The Terror…Is Like The World And Everyday Her is The Universe, Here’s Everyday And everything Else. What I remember after that is that I saw a street that was Lined With A Lot Of Trees…and Then There Were A Lot Of Cars Driving Fast.. and You’d Never Believe Me What I saw Next… A Boat on The Street Also Coming Down it.. And The Doors Of The Cars All Opened And Hit Against Its Scull As they Drove By. The Last Time I Saw A Heavy Blade Come Falling Down From The Sky And Cut The Boat’s Sails Apart…. And They Too Became Pieces As Important as The Trees Which Went As Far As you Could see On Down The Street.”

—I was Planning On Doing A Lot More—
—I Was Referring Dora to So Much Else—

I told her to go As far As She Could Down The Street…And She’d Be Second Running And she’d Have So Much To Inline herself To… There’s Nobody Anymore who’s Going to say Anything Easy About You.

—I was Planning on Doing a lot More—
—I was referencing To Dora To Become Second Too, None The Less— The Bite You feel Of My Teeth On Your Tongue And Public Hair Creeps under your Fingernails And I Am Not Surprised Or Suspicious Of The White Burns That Line the Sweet Skin Around Daphne’s Labia—there were Those Tiny Pebbles that Broke Into Very Fine Glass As her Labia secreted them it Was A Sweat Smelling Secretion And One Had To Lap into it. How Long Have You Been Here Working?…. I was Planning on Doing A Lot More. I was referring to Dora Too—and when I referred To Daphne It Was Like I was screaming in a swamp—I don’t like the sex Part Of her—a Perfect End.
I didn’t know how alone I was
I didn’t know that I was in fear of being alone too
I didn’t know to pack everything up, Dora.
Fin—Of—Chapter 5—

Chapter—6—Some Of The Rest Tell Me what They See.
“I don’t really feel like Opening My Eyes”—said Daphne and I can’t remove the stones from my Lungs—and My Hands Burn Badly. The House that she Thought That She Would be in and there was one life that She Needed to Have Because she was dissatisfied with the one which she’d Previously Lived…. But Unknown to her, This one would have the same Results—“I don’t really Feel Like doing Too Much Everyday.” Said Daphne…”I have An Appointment That I have To be At.” Her Body Laid On a Towel Which was Spread out on Rocks near The Sea Shore… She Laid There Basking in the Sun in A Red Bathing Suit—a Red Worm Circled The Rock Daphne Wanted To Take The ends Of her Sun Glasses And Cut the Worm into A Thousand Small Pieces And let The Tide Sweep them out Separately So The Worm Will not Be Able To Reform—The worm’s White Teeth Scraped into The Rock Near Where Daphne’s Right Hand Was Hanging Down Near The Water—her eyes Opened From Underneath Her Sun Glasses As She Felt Little Pin Points Prick into Her Finger Tips….. “I felt Like I had to Open My Eyes, Before something Bit My Fingers Off.”…. And I Am sowing So many Things Back Together.. The Red Worm—lives In The Green Seabed And Eats Other Fish And Swims Between Girls Legs….. –Daphne Sex was the entry point to be noted.. As She Lay flat On the Rock—public Hair Jotted out from where The Bathing Suit seams Were Around her Crotch.
There Was The body of a red worm that had been worked on by a Taxidermist—it was mounted on The Wall above Cabinet Where They Keep The Checkerboard And The Rifles In the House Where Daphne Knew she wanted to live her life—in the back they fire at a target which is In reality a Giant Waffle, its Soft Spongy Texture Absorbs The Bullets Rather well.
“I Am Not Sad Nor Depressed.” Said Daphne
“I am Not Ignoring you or mad at you.”…Said Daphne
“But I don’t Have Time To Play.”..
“I have So Much That I have to Get Done.” Dora Accompanies her Because she Knows that it’s The Only way that she’ll get to be in Daphne’s company.. On A Busy Day Like Today... They Were Neither sad Nor Depressed, the house is so comfortable That all of the People Sat in very Nice Chairs that they Could Sink Their Bodies Back into—they drank from tall Glasses.. Their visages were Obscured From The Smoke which Profused and Veiled The Room which came From All of The Cigarettes And Subsequent Cigarettes—he makes it a Point to Never Repeat Himself—but it is Too Much pressure to make sure that Something Can Never Change—but none of The cloth Appears to be Attractive at First to anyone, they Just take it out of The Chest And Then The spread it out, they look over it and they See how Ugly it is…. And then The Fold it back up and Put it back into The Chest… The Finally Do Find A Bright Yellow piece Which is Nearly Transparent—they’re Very Happy with it, And They Remove The Red Worm From Above The Rifle And checkerboard Cabinet… and Then They Lay it on The Yellow Cloth. And Place The checkerboard Next to it, the pieces resemble Red and Black Worms.

—I am sad—
—I Am depressed—awhile Going over situations in my head—I reanalyze how they Went Wrong. I Am So Sad. Though I do not have time to Play—I will Tell Daphne That I cannot see her today.. Says Dora. Just Remember To Reach below the Stone where The Worm Swam And Didn’t Think that it could Change The Past… There’s enough of A Seam Between The Rock and the Floor that the Worm Can Slip Underneath it Before You can Catch A Good Glimpse of It.
—I Am Sad—
—I am Depressed… Nor Have I Grown up Now—
Awhile Going over situations in my head And I reanalyze how they went wrong—I have time to play with them and discover different pieces I have not been floored in a longtime… but I felt life rush up in me And I reached below floor where I kept the box of wooden figurines Then They’ve Gotten into things which were Regular for their Age—but I will Not Grown up—and I reanalyze why that is Going over situations, while going to Play—I feel them rush up in me And I Have Reached into Loneliness And There’s A Barrel Of Rings They’re All Silver None Gold—analyze A Picture of Daphne Zorn that Falls Out When I shake The Barrel Upside Down—she’s wearing a Green Short Dress And she Lays On a Towel That’s Spread out under a Blue Umbrella … Radar And Wisdom—she chants An understanding Signal And She Becomes Aware Of Earthiness as She wraps A Yellow And Orange Blanket around her. The Careless Days of Her Youth Disappear And she Rather Not Be here At All—she thinks About Dora And Also about the House Where She Thinks She needs to Go in order to live the life which would have a different Finale Than the Life That She Lives Now.

Besides The Table of Annabel And the yellow Cloth’s moist wrap around your body—Daphne saw that the red worm could be unscrewed into separate pieces—she took the checkerboard off The Red Cloth To Make More Room For the Worm—Which she was About to Disassemble—she unscrewed The Head First. Inside Were Green Jewels And Pieces of Paper, small, With fortunes written on them—she had a jar which she placed these in and then she unscrewed the next section of the worm—there were bullets inside—and there were also mushrooms, she placed them in a second Jar—She screwed lids onto Both of The Jars And Then She Felt Exhausted Although She Was Only On The Third Piece, she gave up on this—and screwed the first two pieces back on—she filled their compartments up with Sand—and Placed The Worm Aside The Yellow Cloth And Then She Put The Checkerboard Back onto it—And Played A game with herself as Both Sides Though Not Really Playing Long Enough Or caring to Win Either One. Besides Annabel’s Table There Was A lot of Dust in the Air and there was Very Little Time to Enjoy Yourself—Daphne Saw Many Feathers Floating Through the air and Some more of Them Looked Like Stars. She Was Lonely There.. Now That She Was in the House Where She Thought that she should Be—she no longer had any Friends that She Could See Once or twice a week. It became too self-enclosed when no one Came To See Her—all that’s here are the people who sit in the chairs—the slouch in them and they also rock back and forth—maybe you can make more since of it than I can—what does it mean to be there too, I think of the green and breathing, the green and breathing, the green and breathing—I felt very English Or Something When I saw Hills Soaked By Rain and The Sky was Gray I ran across The Rolling Hills and the Valleys… Crossed Little Bridges, leapt Fences and Even Splashed Through puddles But then the Sky grew Impossibly Gray—this really Takes The Cake—it is a kind of Loneliness that I never felt before I’ve been alone but I was not lonely—do you get me?…—I wasn’t lonely then ‘cause I still had people but distancing Myself from them on Some days and Choosing When I wanted to See Them.. .I could Decide wanted to See People and even if I didn’t want to—I knew that I still would but here there is no option such as that—there’s just going to be a long spell where I see nobody at all—the people that loved me I let go and so I don’t mean As Much to them now because they can’t count on me, I used to be there For Every soul now I’ve Let them All go—that was The Worst Mistake I made—I know more of that when I hear The Creaks of The Chairs As They Move On The Wood—the only souls are moving Yet They Remain Still, god And there’s No Dora… What Do I do now without her.. I was so accustomed to her that I just took it as a given that I would always Have Her.. but her presence her is As Nil and left Empty As it Is Repellent To me how My Life Lacks When Her’s Is Gone From it. If I am nothing without her then why should I stick it out any longer—when I saw hills Soaked With Rain And Splattered With Mud I knew that I needed to See her Run Across The Tops of Them—I can only Imagine it and not Really See it, Now I know What it Is Like to Be Deprived Of Something. There’s not Another Guest Where I thought My Life Should Be to Become Something other.
Dora Was not nearly as lonely the Days For her Filled up with images and Sound-Atmospheres—she heard plain loops of notes that were At Once Soothing and Convincing they Gave Hope And Comfort And Did Not Foretell Her That Any Loneliness Would ever be for her. There Was Nothing Quickly Shooting Down approaches And Everybody That Was Purposely Cold Became A Dribbling Vapor—Off From A Metal Pole That Even Had A Moist Fungus Blooming On its Smooth Sides.

Bracing down To Feel blue… And feel A Mucus in between my toe-nails And Then a spider that appears blooming on my bellybutton And I see My Life And I Prepare it to be pared Down, But Why?….. Daphne Had A Box of Balls They’re red and orange and Green and bouncing very high And there’s no reason why they can’t Being taken out of the box and then bounced against something else—like a Wall Or off of a table and then she put her hands on the seat of the chair for awhile—underneath her buttocks and then she sat on them there were not any questions that she wanted to ask—they’re merely Doing what they’re doing know just to bide their time ‘til they can do something Better. All of The balls Come out of the Box And they All Bounce At once There Are no Limitations to Discuss As They Hit and Bounce off of Everything They Also Brace themselves to be Blue. And They Feel Mold and Orange pictures of Flies And A Presence Ejaculating Out of Them After they’ve held Themselves for a while Then They Can’t resist Popping out The Go in all Ways But Mostly In Wet Globs that Land Around Daphne’s Bellybutton And Some of The Soggy Globs Even Cover The Spider Which is Crawling out of Her Bellybutton And You Know that Her Personal Life Should not Matter To You. She’s Not a friend of Yours in that Way. Here’s probably why I will go by myself I want to See You but I can’t Always Have You in my life And the Best thing to do is not to do anything else at all and I am Not interested in Sticking around here for all of my life. I am prepared to even stay here Without you Because right now Going somewhere else would be a bad choice… Make sure That it is All a Dream. An Orange Fly that Has A spongy Texture to it appears to be landing on a log—but it Flutters off as soon as it makes impact And Then it Comes right back down onto The Log. Presses itself Very Snugly Into It. It Likes Being Stuck there It Will Not Leave, The Whole Fly Melts into What Resembles feces And Then Disintegrates On The Log Where it Was So attached.

“The two tall buildings are side to side and there’s a walkway in Between them: I had a dream that I walked between them both but it frustrated me because there was another Mental Picture that I took from there. You know that I saw Her There Too, she was standing in the silver Skirt Running her Fingers Through her hair—she Should not think that anything makes her content—but I saw her by the two tall Buildings and somehow I knew that I had Just dreamt it when I went back there the next day there was no sign of her. But what kind of Person do you think That She is. I Will have to face all of This again Tomorrow, there May Be No One With Me… I’ll Have to Get up and take it on all Alone. Which isn’t Exactly The Easiest thing that I can Think of Doing At This Point. I Will stand by myself and I will not stand side by side to Anyone—how can I pay attention to the things that I need. Sometimes in another Dream I Stand between Both of the two buildings and Water drips down off the Bottom of The walkway And It Plops On My head—Then There’s liquid spurting out of all of the openings on my Body… And Making impact Against My Skin and Is Soon fermented There.”

“My God”… I have been Down There For So long That when I was able to take a breath Again I noticed that I had been buried for so long. I fought and I Pushed So hard Too… I had Noticed That I had Been Buried Down there And I hadn’t made any effort To Push Myself Up—I had to Do it alone Again Because there Was nobody below me there that was going to Take the Stride From Themselves To Put their Hands on my Soles—and give them a Solid Shove Upwards—my knees were Pressed Down in The Dirt Their Skin Was Becoming a Bit of A Tropic There On The stones Sharp Edges. Then My Blood Is Spurting Everywhere All over The White Pages Of the Books As they Are Wide Open… And Then Nobody Was Below all of The Fluid That Drained out of Me… There For So Long, When I was Able To Put my arms Above My Head without Feeling something Sharp Above Me… Then I was So Shocked Since that had not happened in so long, It was One of Those Situations Where I didn’t know what to Do. My Body was Healed Not stabbed.. On my Own it had Healed I got Up and faced Everything on my Own Terms And I Had Gotten Beyond Disappointment Now Living Meant Something Suddenly Discerning Yet Assured.

“Now I examine my condition”.. Said Daphne “But The Obvious Pieces of It Make Me Feel Like a Little Person.” “It’s like I really Need Cured But Some Very Bad People have come into my life and I Can’t Make Sense Of Any Of Their Intentions, I am suspicious of What They’re Trying to Do to me, in a way they’ve got me in a gallery of Sorts And they Raise a Curtain up on each Part of My Life And When They Focus in they Let me look back on my Own Little Details Of How All Aspects Got Warped—and then I ended up at The Gate Where I am At Now The one That’s Kind of opened and Closed At The Same time.. Maybe It’s Just Cracked a little Bit and its Hinges Are Shaken Loose, Those Screws In Them Are.. I mean.”… Somewhere Somebody Keeps Saying They’re Going to Be here.. And then they Keep Asking me How I Can Afford to face All Things As My Sole Representation of Selfishly Risen Switched-back Wonders.” “The Condition is like this I put needles and Nails Into my Skin and I sit and fret over the Pain. Then I Try To get myself Together and I have Problems Breathing… And I can’t Afford To face All Of these Things—but Maybe I can. Pieces of Them Are Not Plain To Me And I don’t In any Way Feel Like An Irregular Person but I don’t Want People Saying That I’ve Been Responsible For Doing Bad things That I Really Had no part of Doing.”

When I turn around I can face three windows and there’s sun shinning in through all of Them and Sometimes too Brightly into My eyes—I had no part Of Making it So Bright, I swear That To You—I Turn Around Though And I know that Those Windows are Always Going to Be there—As Fast As They Are three then they’re four and Then five, After all there’s later six windows that the Light shines into and they Even reflect The Shapes of Different Animals Sometimes too Brightly Seeing a Snake Curl And A Tiger Getting Ready To Pounce on something As The Sun goes down and I Shine Lights Near The Windows The Shapes Then Seem Like Shadow Puppets Or Just Simply outlines That I made With my Hands Before certain Person’s Pressed Them down So Hard Onto Felt. I Wonder about all I am knowing and I wonder why They’re Pushing me Away And I wonder if I can Think of Being Any sadder Here, But When I Thought of The House… Then I Could Make Myself Feel more Comforted And I thought everything was Coming at me, my Breasts, my Vulva, My Thighs, My Ass. They All Looked Like Some way They Needed A Mist Proportioned Near The Windows When I Removed The Curtains I Took A Great Conversing Forever And I Could’ve Made It far if I’d Wanted To.

In A Dance-Hall He walks over to where the streamers have fallen and then he stands between two glowing white lights—they put streaks up and down on his jacket—and definition is made on his face. He looks closely at the last place where she stood before she was gone, and he came to find her now—some way he was sent to—lines leading straight to open shutters but then she won’t be closed completely, either. In a series of flashes we recall Ester White—her blue flowered dress is pulled up as her head is held in an unseen person’s hand—their Thumb Makes A caress across her Lips. Ester White hasn’t been seen by anyone for since was seen at the dance-hall two Saturday nights Ago. People Now Wonder about her Death, possibly. Investigator Merwin Summers Has several leads which he can proceed On After the Investigation of The Dance-Hall, he looks over the last-place where she was seen, And Notices That Everything seems to Be Out of Key—The ceilings Are Dropping Too Low And The Floors Are Coming up Too High The Almost Resemble Drawbridges In Some Points. He walks over To where The Doors Are Smashed in Somehow—and he Tries to Pry Them Open—it Takes A Little Bit of Trouble and Then he’s In A Corridor That He maybe he significantly Needed to know of… Merwin walks Down It—sees that When he looks into most of the Doors—there’s Just Storage Room Inside—utility Repair Equipment is Stored inside most of Them. Then one room is of particular interest—it seems like it is actually a bedroom—after he budges the stuck door open, there’s an unmade Bed—and pillows that seem to’ve been pressed down by a heavy Head—and then there’s photographs scattered Everywhere—some of them show Ester White… smiling in a heavy makeup with barely anything on—another shows her putting a flower under her Tongue. And Then Putting Small Bells Onto her Ear Lobes—another shows a Japanese Man In A Tuxedo With His Arm Around her, she’s wearing a Blue Dress—and hat—they’re against an Orange Curtain—They Look Like They’re Tired Yet They’re Still Trying very hard to Look Wide Awake. There’s a chest In The Room, Merwin Opens The Drawers.. wearing surgical Gloves—and he Carefully Leaves Through The Materials Inside—Underwear—that Belonged To A woman… Maybe Ester White—he sees that as A Possibility—Lots of news Paper And Magazine Clippings Which Involve Burn Victims… Personal Struggle Stories—in the closet he finds what looks like the same blue dress that Ester Was Wearing in the photograph with the Japanese man—on the straps of the dress there are black and red birds—and he goes through the closet and finds a cardboard crate filled with other clothes—they are white suits Mostly, Well They were White But now they’re very Coated With Dirt Some of Them are Totally Filthy—he goes through them and then places them Back into the box. These Things may seem like leads or things that are pieces that Summers has got to fit into the bigger Puzzle—he sits on the bed for a moment—taking all of it in—there’s a fusion going over the muscles in his Chest—sweat running down him in the Very Hot Room—he leaves and walks down the hall to where he entered—he Plans To leave The Dance-Hall Now But As He Is, he’s Called Back inside by intuition—he goes back through the doors that he budged open and Back down the Hall—into the room where he found the remnants and Clippings that Involve Ester—he Went Back Into The Closet—and Spread All of The Clothing To The sides—and Ran His hands Over The back-wall Of It—And felt An Irregular Rise—that He pushed in with his Hand—The Wall Separated And Slid Open—he Saw A Green Room Before Him Where A Fountain Was In The Center of and Orange Curtains Hung Around The Room’s Circumference—he walked to the fountain seeing a Yellow Light Come From it—he Looked Down into The Water And Saw Ester White Under There—it seemed that she was Still Alive-he saw her Eyes Blink and Her Lips make a Smile-he stood amazed and then she Reached Her Arms Up And Pulled Him into there With Her—the yellow Light Jumped Around in an Irritated Way—the room itself breathed—and Merwin Summers was being taken through a series of ladders it seemed like-he was proceeding down Steps By more like The current of Water Was Flowing Him Down them as Ester White had him in her Arms. They surfaced on land that seemed as barren as a desert like stone hard mud that hadn’t been wetted in so long—he gasped and coughed water from out of his lungs—when his eyes focused there were Two red towers before Him—They Shone So Brightly Against This muck-dark Sky—In a Place Where Everything Was Shrouded By A darkening Mist—He Looked around But he Didn’t See Ester White.

There Were Cameras Flashing since Some-people wanted to have their pictures taken—while they were all dressed up like this—and the makeup that they wore made them look a lot happier—fake eyes, fake lips, fake cheeks, false hopes certainly too—this is where everyone comes down and pretends to be Happier Then they really are, Though that’s not to say that anyone isn’t happy Some People Seem as if they’re really beaming—but they don’t have to open-up in that deep of a way—so it seems more so ridiculous To Have Yourself Seeming Sad—Roger was happy To be there, Then he was even happier when he Put His Hands Onto Ester White—she wore that Blue Dress Which She Looked So Great in and everybody complimented him on what a beautiful Wife He Had. And He Thought that The World was Wonderful that Night as they danced and they laughed And they kissed on a Bench in the garden outside that night—To Love And To Hope And To how wonderful The World Might Seem At Certain instances. There Were Cameras Taking Pictures of Roger and Of Ester separately And Together-they heard So many Words and So many Different Sounds That They Never Could’ve distinguished Between All of Them So What They Heard Was A tapestry Of Sound—an Ensemble Sonic Chaos. They were happier than they’d ever be again though unknown to them—at least Ester Was—this may have been Where Her happiness started to Decline, it is all downhill from here. We’ll still step out from the porch when spring approaches and see something coming up the lane, that was what happened to Ester—she was rocking in her porch swing, and she was holding a Cup of lemonade in her hand—and she looked over off into the distance where the road starts and she saw a great mass coming up it—it was Bright Green And It resembled A Whale in a Way But It Seemed Like it Slithered along the Ground The Same way That A snail Does Its Slithering—it was husking and it brought a great heat with it—it moved so slowly over everything and it tore Fences Down and Submerged The Dirt in the wettest Sludge—Ester Stood on the porch for the longest time watching this form slowly Progress Towards Her—as it came closer she realized that it may engulf the house too, take her As Well—maybe she would see the end of herself and her surrounding as She Swallowed The Lemonade. She Figured that she’d have to run from the porch as soon as she could and try to find a sanctuary—but then she wondered where that was—maybe back when the Cameras Took Their Picture—and Roger Kissed her Under The Skin saturating Lights—And She Remembered The Moistness Of Her Skin under the blue-dress and the Trim on the Straps With The Red And Black birds—She didn’t run from the porch she Let the Form Engulf Her And The Home—it was Like Being inside a Growth—or becoming something from its inside first—It was So soft and You didn’t even necessarily Need To Breathe—you Lost Your Body although you Didn’t Forget Yourself—some-ways When The Mass Made You Part Of it—it Gave You Some leeway On Still holding onto The Precious Pieces Of your Life—one body Drifts up to the Moss And it sighs As its Lungs Collapse—and The Green felt Engages in the Bodies Orifices, converging An Intercourse Even With a Form That’s Forgotten To Live—Well a form that Lives No More in a Concrete Sense—but it Does Live because it Doesn’t Need To Breathe Anymore, Eat Anymore, excrete anymore—All it has to do is Combine Every image and Emotion from when it breathed, ate and excreted and as its orifices are moistened, stimulated and climaxed it blooms into a transcendent essence—a red color strip which slowly Flexes and tears away from where its fastened—it goes through and area which doesn’t contain any color and then once it is through there it merges into a bold orange shade of color and then it is privately in pleasure for a very long duration.

“Oh, No!”… Thought Daphne Zorn, “What Do I do now?” her car broke down on the road at night—she thought at first she should lock the doors and turn the flashing lights on. There’s just a lot of Terror to Being left Marooned In the Darkness. They chased the dog into the closed car-wash—there was still water on The Cement Ground of it—there were not any Jokes for them to make, they’d chased it completely with malice—in thought of cornering it and killing it, Probably—Daphne had been therein the dark and had not seen any other cars in a longtime—she started counting the seconds and they went on so slowly—she thought of humorous things hoping that they would help her fight off the fear—some-way she felt like she’d been made to be a Fool. An orange and green caterpillar was crawling through barren dirt, and he had half sleeping eyes—he came over a puddle that a red leaf was floating in—he crawled into the puddle, floated on the water—until he came to the leaf in the Puddle’s Center—which he crawled upon and fastened himself Soundly Asleep, Daphne Was Awoken By Car Headlights—they shone across her face—bouncing briskly onto her eyelids ‘til they Opened Up. The car passed her at first and Then Slowed Down And Pulled Aside The Road Shortly. She was Still scared and she couldn’t take the thought of some-person who may be bad stepping out of the car. The caterpillar Layed There For A Longtime And Slept Away Several Lifetimes, when it rolled off of the Red Leaf its Hope was that The World Had Changed. Ester White Was Near The General Store and when the town hadn’t changed much, she went there to get Soda Before She Came To The Dancehall that Night—she stood in the parking-lot To the side Of it Actually And Had the First Soda as She Watched Cars Pull in and out—She Finished The Soda and Realized That She had To make it Home So That She Would Have enough time to Find what to Wear And Still Get to the Dance Early. Daphne saw a Figure Step from The Car—as lights were Still Flashing on Daphne’s Car, she could make out that it seemed like it was A Man, just by The silhouette—she Had her Doors still locked Although she knew that in any case he’d probably Just smash Through the windows. They had the dog cornered but then Things Changed. He Did not Cower, he became Very Fierce—he lunged at One of Them And Bit into his Leg, The Boy let out a Cry. Blood Dripped From The Jaws of The Dog. He seemed even more Fierce, the Other Boy Now Felt Fear, he was not sure what to Do—he turned to Run out of the Car wash, but the dog pursued and the Boy Tripped—Falling onto his Stomach—as he Was Down The Dog Bit into The Back of His Neck. The man stepped up to The Driver’s Door Window—and He tapped on the glass—Daphne Cracked The Window A Little Bit, “You Seem To be Having A Problem.” … “Yes” Replied Daphne—“I can Give You A Ride If You Need Me To”… Daphne didn’t know what to do, should she trust him and how long would it be ‘til Police Or Someone else came by?… She Could not wait out her all night. “Maybe You can Take me to the nearest Town”…said Daphne.. “I would be glad to”.. Said The Man—Daphne Got out of The Car Carrying Her Bag—and they walked towards his car—it was still Very Very dark, but from The Light Inside Her Car She seemed to Get An Alright Look at him when he’d Tapped on The Window—they didn’t really say anything on the walk from the Daphne’s Car To his. Ester Wore a Blue dress That Night to The Dance And Its Straps were Trimmed with Red And Black Birds—she got a ride to the dancehall with Friends of Hers. Even though she’d tried to get there Earlier Than most people, it was already very Crowded When she did get there—she looked around to see if she recognized anyone, but to her Surprise there was not anyone that Looked Familiar To Her. Where The two doors Seem As If they’re budged together ‘Til You Use all of Your Strength To Pry them Open, that Was Where She Drifted to When No-one was focused on her, she kept a room down the Hallway—that she not taken anyone to other than Roger—She Went down the hall, found her room and entered…. Inside there, she took off the Blue dress And But on Clothes That Were A Lot more Comfortable—jeans And T-shirt She Sat on the Edge of The Bed And Took off her Make Up As She Looked into a Hand-mirror. She layed back onto the bed and she slept for a bit—the whole dancehall was silent when She Woke.. the Dance Had Ended—and she didn’t have the Strength to walk back down the long Hall. Ester Opened The Closet Up—And Pushed All the Clothes Which Were hanging in there Aside—And Revealed The Closet Wall where It Looks Like one of These Lumps Is Rising Up From it, that’s where she Placed Her Hand And Then The Doors Slid Apart For Her—A green Room Was Before Her—a large Gushing Fountain was in its Center—and There Were Orange Curtains Hung Around Its Circumference—from the Fountain A White Light Flecked Out and then Became Very Thick, Concentrated And Balanced—Ester Walked To The Fountain and Looked In and She Saw A Girl’s Body Floating Underneath The Water—her lips Moved And her Eyes Opened—she Reached Her Arms Up and Pulled Ester Down into the water With her—the Bright Light Clouded The Room completely. There were these green padded walls—and the floor was Like A Pillow and it Sank in When Ester Came down into The Room As she Was Clutched By The girl—They Layed On The soft Pillow Floor For awhile—‘Til The Girl Said “My Name’s Daphne”—Ester Wanted to Know where they Were—“I Don’t Know…” Said Daphne.. “The Last Thing That I can Remember Was That There Were Small Lights Flashing in my Eyes And I felt A Towel Tightened Around my Neck”… “I know How I ended Up here”.. Said Ester-- “There was a lump on the wall of the closet And I touched it The Doors Slid Open And there Was A Green Room, A Fountain And Very Vibrant Orange Curtains—Then I saw You When I looked into The Fountain Because I saw a White Light Coming Out of It” they sat together on the Pillow Floor—they Had There Arms Around each Other… they were Still Wet they Were Slightly Chilled—the Padded Room didn’t So Much Look green Anymore—the Longer They Sat in there, it Started to Look Very Orange—then There Was a Door That They’d Not Seen Before—it was Next To them On the Floor—Ester Decided To Open it up and She Still Clutched Daphne’s Hand As She Opened The Door With Her Other—The Looked Down And They Saw Clouds At First, what they Saw Was The Sky—They Were Apparently Up Above it Somehow—“Should We Fall Back Down into It?”…Asked Ester To Daphne…. “That May All That We Can Do Now”… Replied Daphne—Ester Proceed Through The Door first And Then Daphne Followed—they Expected To Fall Very Fall But They Were to their Surprise On Solid Ground Within a Few Moments, their Fall had Been very Short. They stood on very barren ground that was Dry And Untouched By Water For What Must Have been a Longtime… It Seemed As if it had been Baked in the Sunlight To This Chaffed Flecking Crust—there was sunlight at first But then Clouds came Floating In—Daphne And Ester Huddled Together Under The Blackening Sky—“We Must Proceed Soon”.. Said Daphne—They Went Moving Forward—And They Only Crossed more barren Ground. Soon they saw two red towers in the distance—“They Look Like they’re Close, but I’d Bet that actually they’re Very Far Away.” Said Ester. They still proceeded on the barren ground because they had to—but they didn’t know if they’d see anything else or make it to anyplace—those towers did seem closer now and that was positive to know for them—but Rain began to finally fall—very hard, they’d thought that it would fall earlier since the sky had been dark For So Long of a Time—but it Took its Time in Falling Down—it poured and Poured Like The Sky Shedding a layer Or Sweat—they Were Soaked And all the While They Clutched One another Never Veering From the Other’s Arms. Then They Came To the two Red Towers, Which were Either closer than they’d figured or they’d walked a lot Farther than they’d Realized—there Weren’t Doors on Either Tower—where you’d Figure they’d of been There Was only the open Doorways—Two Red Towers—though two women who’d not parted for the entirety of this journey Decided that they now would separate for the first time, they’d each take a tower—Daphne Would Take the one on The Left And Ester would take the one on The Right—they Kissed on The Mouth Before The Departed Through The Tower Doorways—Daphne Saw What Looked Like A gallery When She entered The Left tower—a Gallery of Statues—satyrs And Strong Beautiful men which were made of Bronze—there was real foliage growing in the gallery—trees were coming out of The Walls—there Was Ripe Fruit Blooming from Their Branches—And Daphne Felt that it was Her Duty And Her Lifesake To Pick The Fruit.. Since She Must Satisfy Her Starvation—and she Didn’t Need Her Body to Fail Yet. A tree with bright red apples was next to
A Statue Of Pan—When Daphne Reached Her Arm Outwards to The Tree Limb—The Moment that she plucked the Apple she thought that she saw the statue Move—she held the apple and looked at the statue very Closely, it must have Just been in her mind. She bit into The Apple and Tasted The Moist Fruit—she felt as if she imploded in sense being that she was so satisfied, more so than she’d ever been before, prior to this she’d not known such A Deep Satisfying feeling—after she ate the apple, she layed down beneath the tree and at the feet of the statue of Pan—Ester entered the Doorway Of The Tower on The Right And There Was a large Empty Metal Room When she Touched The metal it was Very Cold And it Stung Her Fingers A Bit—like frost That glued into Them—she Pulled her hand Off And Sucked on her Fingers To decrease The Stinging—She Walked through the long metal room to because she saw another open doorway at the end of it—Ester entered through that Doorway—she immediately Noticed A Horrible Smell—she Saw That The Walls Of The Room Were Covered With feces and An Assortment Of Feathers Had Been Stuck into Them Too. There was a bowl of bananas in the center of The Room—Ester Was Starving And She Wanted Them So Badly—she Walked Towards The Bowl And Reached Her Hand Out To them, picking up the banana—she was peeling the skin off of it and she felt so sickened by the feces smell that it was Hard To put The Banana into her mouth at first—she bit into it and then proceeded from this room back into the metal Room which she walked back down awhile eating All of the Banana—she left the tower from out of its Front-doorway—when she stood outside of it she looked to where the other tower should be and she saw that it was gone—she was so alarmed, if the tower was gone Then So was Daphne—there wasn’t even an indentation on the Ground Where The Tower Had Been—just that The Barren Ground Which was Still met From The Heavy Rain that Had Fallen—She Heard A Screeching sound up in the Sky—Then She Looked upwards—to see what was making that sound.

What was making that awful sound she wondered, but she didn’t see Anything at all when she looked upwards—she just heard that sound, when she listened closer she could tell that it was a series of sounds which were played over and over on a repeating loop, there’s no difference, Still she wondered who was playing the sound. Again her Thoughts became filled with Daphne—where was she, would she ever see her again… She Walked Over To where the Tower had Been That Daphne Disappeared In. She Looked Down at The Circumference Of The Ground There—she noticed There Was A Small Slit In The Earth—She got on her knees and Looked Closer at this After She Saw A Flower Petal Ejaculated From Out of It—when she looked directly into it, there was a big change—the sound loops that she’d heard in the sky were now coming from The Slit—a series Screeches That Were Directly Right Up To Her. She Felt A Crushing Tension in her Head—and she Fell Back. Her Head Was On A pillow And her Body on A bed And There Were People Standing Above her and they were Wondering if she was alright—She Rose Up From her Spot On The Pillow—And She Asked Them Where She Was—they Said They’d found her Laying In a field.. They Showed Her A Torn And Soiled Blue Dress Which they Said that She’d Been Wearing. When she saw that She Felt A Tick in her Mind—she’d Been in This Situation Before… And she’d Worn That Dress in the room At The Dancehall So Therefore She Knew That they Were Being Honest.. When she Wondered How She’d Ended Up in The Field She Remembered Being Hit with something Hard on the back of the head though the hurt that the impact made was gone Now—Do I forgive myself For being Battered so Badly?… She Wondered—they offered Her A Glass Of Water And She Sat Up and After She Drank it She Asked them where the bathroom was, they directed her and she Stood Before The Mirror and She saw that there were still Smudges Of Dirt on her face—she wiped them From Around her Mouth Using A Wet Cloth—And She Saw That there Were Bruises all on the sides of her face—and there were many cracks on her lips—that stung and there was a cut directly under her mouth and above It—a really long scratch on her Nose And When she Took the Shirt off that they’d put on her.. There Were Bruises and Scraps on Her Ribs.. They were Made in a Claw Pattern—it looked like something With a claw shaped Hand had Made A Mark Across her ribs—They hurt badly … She Told the People that she Had to Leave, although she didn’t know where she was—so she ask them about where to go—though they told her to not leave in this Condition. She Got upset when it seemed as if they were talking to her in circles and she took the blue dress And abruptly Left—she ran out the front door—This was someplace That She didn’t know at all—there were paved roads—and the Gleaming Grass Around In The Fields She Saw The Wreckage of Airplanes—and Many Crashed Cars—Were Also in The Fields—she had to Get out of here—she ran along the side of the road and she hoped that a car would come—it was the brightest daylight that she basked in but soon it was the most impenetrable Dark—The Sky Changed in Nearly A moment. There was total dark—and she couldn’t see at all so she had no way to proceed—Soon a lights came where the fields were—they were Purple and a series of them Flashed and Floated…And They Came Right Towards Ester—her eyes widened and her mouth opened up as soon as the impacted into her—she heard the sound of metal impacting into metal And she Felt Her Body Move pushed aside and then she Fell Very Far. Earth so dry and so untouched by any water—cracking already and it will’ve cracked a lot more Before Rain Comes Or water Rolls over it—once a caterpillar Sat On A Leaf—but that was when Ester Breathed Fresh Air, maybe not fresh maybe a little infested by Smog—They She Pressed His Skin To her Lips And Used her teeth in a way that he’d Remember For The Whole Day…Now in her life she simply Kneels To A Flower And Tells A Less Positive But More centered Story Like When She Was Left in the field while wearing The Blue Dress After A Blow Was Made To The Back of Her Head. The single blue dot in the green sole shade that was Painted As the first Layer before they Bothered To put Paint on Lines of Definition—to detail the Blades Of Grass, before the Painted anymore of Daphne—She was Depicted just as The blue dot and when a thumb was pressed on the picture to redo a mistake while the paint was still wet—her depiction became a Smudge.

“We’ll Give You What we Can Give, Or do you need us to give you everything, well what if we have not got anything at all—is nothing good enough for you—we’ll give you everything we can-but let us know what you think that equals to, alright—things are Happening Differently—and I am not sure when that will be Or Do you need me to give you all of these things right now.” Said Daphne Zorn—then she Exclaimed “The Light, The Light. Someone Turn on The Fucking Light!”… She Said that So hard—she walked around one Block And Everything was Really About Seeing a Certain Person, She Didn’t remember who but she just Knew them to see them.. and she Felt Humiliated By Forgetting their name Because she Wouldn’t know how Approach Them—can she go up and say I know you but I don’t, I mean I forget you Are; “The Light, The Light”… She heard Footsteps Come up the stairs And Then They were in the hall and Then They Were Next to the bedroom door and then she heard the Door Open and Somebody Walked Through The Room and then that same Person was Next To The Bed.. and Daphne Was Frozen in Fear—they reached their hands over her and they touched her breasts—she screamed and they held her tight and She Couldn’t Get Away—the light never Came On—She couldn’t see Her Assailant But then Someone Did turn A light On As he Was On Top Of Her. He Pressed her to His Lips And used his Teeth in such a way that she’d Remember It For The Rest of Her Life—it was out of control that was the Room—and The Bed Rose Off of The Floor—and The dresser Caved in—as she was struck across the Face, then she was at The Dancehall Alone-there was a blue dress on the bed It had Been Torn And a Statue of Cupid was Near The Closet—he was prepared to fire his arrow right at Daphne—she Held her breasts in her hands and man A seductive Gesture to Him—then he letgo The arrow Right into Her Chest—it hit her in the heart She Still Held her Breasts, her nipples became Very Hard After She Was Penetrated—and she lay near the Blue Dress With The Arrow in her, feeling Utterly Diminished By This Extreme Arousal That Peaked When A Flood Poured From Her Cunt--And filled The Room But it Smelled Like Honey and The Statue tipped over and crashed through the closet doors And Fell into all of The
Clothes That Hang in There.

“Put your Hands Down!” said Daphne –she said that to her own reflection each minute that she saw herself—when the bed was gone from the Room—it really seemed Bigger—than you’d have thought I can’t believe how large that it was in fact—one of the Largest rooms Which Daphne Ever Had Sex In—she layed down on the Floor while Ester’s Body Was Pressed atop her—she Felt Ester’s Breasts Against her Own.. and Ester’s hands All over Her vulva—reaching into her labia Very Pleasingly. She Kissed Ester’s Neck, While she was Being stimulated—By Her Fingers—she Layed in Ester’s Arms Afterwards—with a Blanket Wrapped Around Them—Daphne Leaned her head against Ester’s Shoulder. A Bust Was Positioned in A Parking lot and People Said such ignorant Things and So Loud.. They Said Them… That Everyone could hear, “I don’t know why they don’t care if they hurt anyone I guess people Are Totally Replaceable To Them.” Ester Put a Cotton Dress on and Sat on The Patio By Herself, reading A Book—the heat was Extreme And She Kept A Cloth And a jar of water to Wet it in and Then to Rub it over Her Forehead And Face or anywhere on her body which became Too Heated.
Residential Lease Dated First Day Of February 1998—Landlord leases the Following Property To tenant—a house with two floors, a bedroom and garage—At 1345 Denis Run—Milton Ohio 15467—
I can’t stand at all
How difficult it is
I can’t stand at all
How difficult it is
Don’t Become Suckered Into a Recurring Thought
That’s merely A Delusion, ‘Cause then you Won’t
Be able to Stand How Difficult it is, one of those
New Military Schools…Up The Road Through The
Grove Of Pines and How Long You’ve got to go up
The Road Before You Come to Where All of The
Cars Are Parked Because they want to go to the
School Too—you only hung Around for her Not for
Us and For all else You sent us away… What is
She But a name on A letter And Words That Don’t
Even Mean what They Appear To say She Wrote them
A Way which to you They can Mean Something else I
Can’t Believe that I didn’t know that it’s difficult.

“ I Do have to let them Go.” Said Merwin Summers after he held on to the bugs for a little while longer. He felt compelled to let them out of The Plastic Cage—He Would Take Them Over To The dirt Hills and Let them Crawl from his Hands One By One—he’d feel their little legs over His Palms and then he’d see them Scurry off into The dirt… He Wondered For A while what the hell was wrong with people, it was very Frustrating when no-one was thinking or feeling his way—he thought again of a Grand Turbulence And An Offense.. And People who wanted to Cause so much havoc.. He Realized That Hurt Has Taken So much Away… And As Much There too that People Wasted all of Their Time on.. In order to Some way Cause Pain Large powerful blows were Dealt… and There was no laughter here for him Just Sadness… he felt as though his life had been reduced to a speck and then brushed away—and that’s so much more than a loss when one’s existence is diminished There’s no more hurt is there?.. They ran All ways and they ran away From the Chaos That they Created And They Didn’t Have A regard For anyone else—now that it is Clear it is himself that he found standing still there Seeing The Aftermath Of This And That they’d all scattered in Every Conceivable Direction And they Didn’t Care At All now or Back Then but that he’d Already Known.

“What I knew then doesn’t mean as much to me right now—meaning that it meant a lot more back then. He’s always been that Kind of Person—really kind of Do Nothing and Then Complain about it But One Must Do Something With Themselves Or they Simply waste Away—I’ve always Been this kind of Person Things mean a lot and then they don’t mean so much—but I think it comes as a character flaw for me as it says that my personality doesn’t mean very much to me. I wore my life on my shirt and then I brushed it off with my hands then took a different Residency—all of these things at once to think about I have To Go Forth but if I pull away far and I create a separation Then I Will Have presented the opportunity for things to Slip Away And I cannot recreate What I’ll Lose. We both came there and we knew that it wouldn’t mean a lot and I hold back from her what was said about her to me—I didn’t want to Tell her Because I knew how painful it was And I was hoping that she would not ever Ask.” Says Daphne.

“We’re free to do what we please and have nobody to stop us—but as long as we go on doing that then there’s nothing that may come of it if we involve ourselves to the point where we’re the only focus then We Simply Might have made The Worst Of Matters—the opportunity is Present To Now Decide What our lives Could Be—though when felt like we wanted comfort, that kept us from thinking that our lives should be anything else—maybe we Can Just keep them as They Are Small here And nobody interferes As Long As We Do Everything Very Quietly And we were Tied at first and We Sprang Loose We Like Being Unbound.” Says Ester

Landlord Leases Following Lake With Bank Bottom Layer And Water To Tenant Lease Begins The Last Day Of September 1997.
“The Story Of Life And Please Nobody Listen. Because it’s so embarrassing and it shows How easy Things are To get Sick of and it shows how all expectations that One has Can Be Surmised And Then to get caught doing one thing and then being held forever by it—and letting its center-stage make The Other Things Less important though they should’ve meant more.”.. Says Daphne

“By the Lake is Where I was Slaughtered—I’ve been so bad, I have not been good and I am worried too what do I do after this. This is Going to be over Soon and I am not going to know what to do with my Life and There are not going to be any friends that I am going to make but my room starts soon and I will be in there, I sit around the table allday and I try to find something to fill the day up but then I realize that I am not bored I am Entertained to An Incredible Degree So much that I am Not even thinking about the Next day or what I will do someways I could be distracted if I thought that tomorrow would be the same as Today was but I really don’t think that bothers me at all I would rather just keep myself here as I am and I’ve got a lot of Worry On my Mind And Then Why Don’t I when I should Like time’s Running out for me but it doesn’t matter at all but I really Think that it Should.” Says Daphne

“A patio with a Coral Clock Near A Purple Jar, was where I wiped the sweat from my head with The Cloth that was A Little damp so it was more that I was doing it to wet myself and cool off and then there was much left of the night, it hadn’t been dark that long and I know that I get things done but I feel like I have to push myself so hard to get them done in the way that I do them—I wish I was more moved by something and I didn’t just have to force myself by saying how bad It’s going To be if I don’t Do This Then I say My Life Will Be Shambled But maybe It wouldn’t be if I sat back and I let everything Spill over my If I put my arms out and Then I Bring everything in towards my chest as I bring them back in—I should take a hold of a lot of things but it’s like I am only holding onto small things which cause a great deal of Pleasure, Tell Me is It Void Of Monumental Values even when it will be reflected…?”… Says Ester

“If I had it the way I wanted it then my life would be over in one way and I would just be watching its faults and positive points as I stood aside from it and lived a different life that was probably easier than this Life But maybe not though, the same things would probably knock me downwards this time too.”…says Daphne

“Somebody’s There First, there’s cloth out-rolled and it covers everything and it has to start slipping under people and those are things that I wish that I could do and I see how set On one thing somebody is even if they’ve not done much they’re just concerned with getting these small things and they do not want to see anything else and they’ve got to Roll Everything out and it covers them to the Point that They’ve Kind of Basked so long in being envious And They’ve bit off so much of Jealousy But finally They Realize that it is Time To Move Upwards. Someone’s first… and there’s cloth out rolled and it covers everything statue were taken out of it when it was still wrapped earlier—and there were Fake Bills Thrown from up high and A lot of Liquid Was Splashed And Willing There’s So much laboring that has to be done to get these things done and Everything is Chaotic But I look for the things that I want to make last but I can’t Even hold onto a day in any sense because as Soon as I turn from it, it’s Entirely Vanished Sometimes Too I think That the Parts of it That Meant A Lot when they Occurred They Really Just Go away And Paths That Were Very Glorious They Just Cut into A Thicket And became Unused Since they Only Led to Dead-Ends.” Says Daphne

Daphne sat on the steps was young then, then she was young.. probably nine—her hair was longer than it is now and she was dressed in a white dress with matching shoes and a pink ribbon Around her Waist—she is holding a Bundle of Flowers—and in the picture she’s looking directly at the camera and she looks neither happy or sad Somewhere in Between—just gazing bright and deeply direct—

“Nobody Remains Last But me, I the only person that’s still there when everything falls Closer to the floor and the lights are dim and nothing shines As Bright as it did When it Seemed Like it was Positive Experience—“ Says Daphne

Landlord Leases The following Hillsides With Earth Grass And Humps that obscure the Sun Depending on Where You’re Positioned when You try to see it and you’re Looking right up towards Them when Trying to See The Sun, lease begins 4th day of August 1995.

Earth Is So hollow Too, if you stand on this spot and the grass is parted and thinned and there’s no water that you can drink from or wash your eyes out with—you’re Down by The Sea but Daphne Didn’t Manage To Have a Good time She Didn’t Want to go Near The Beach Fire That Everyone was Sitting around—she made a call and she saw a genuinely accurate Picture of What was Occurring at The Place which she’d Called—and they were Comical But they Still manage to Stay on Track and Not Evade The Point and Seriousness Of her Call Though she was Not Really Expecting Some of Their Humor and She Felt like a Little Bit of It was hitting Below The Belt.
At the same time, Merwin was Walking Down An Alley where there’s a Huge Pothole And He Stopped There And Stood near it as a Van Passed, inside the van there was a man wearing A Blue Coat—he Passed and Pretended not to See Merwin but then he Turned The Van Around And Came Back for Merwin, Merwin Stood his Ground and he did not run when the man got out of The Van—he Wanted to Take Merwin into it—Merwin was Surprised that They’d Try To abduct him since he’d obviously Be Able to Fight Back—The Man In blue coat lunged at Him And Merwin moved out Of The Way—then He Put His hands on the Man and Shoved him into The pothole And Then Merwin Ran But The Man in The Blue Coat Still Chased Him—Merwin Tripped and He Fell Down on The Pavement—his lip started Bleeding after he Bit into it…. He wandered into the lobby of an apartment Building and he Fell Against A Table With a Lamp on It And He Caused The Table and Lamp To Come Crashing Down.
He stretched The Skin on The End of Penis, it was suddenly inside out and Then He Could Stretch it To The Left and Right and Make It Flat too when he Placed it down on the table—he held it near the Facet There Were a Lot of Debris in it that he Wanted to Wash out They Resembled the Mess That A Pomegranate Makes When Cut it into Sections and Leave the Drippings and Fragments on a paper-towel it was peculiar To Rinse these Growths And Pieces of Skin Out of his foreskin as he did so he wondered how it had ever Stretched So Snugly and Fit So correctly Over The Head of his Penis While it Had all of These Bits in it.

Who’s looking out for Daphne?.. Nobody at the point she’s at now.
“A Second Purgatory!” Daphne’s Got To wait one minute Less Trees Sway Below The Window Glass And What am I supposed to say?.. Hello Daphne, but after I do that I can’t go and sit somewhere else if she’s sitting there by herself. Everyone makes me feel so stupid—and I don’t want to ever feel like that and I swore that I never Would again.
Ode To Water, Purgatory Three, Sitting by herself at a Table, but maybe that is the way that she wants to See.
Can You See That I am Depressed ?…Or is that At least what you call it at this point?….
In the Sea And The Beasts that are There—with the Bill of a Duck and The Body Of A Cow and You Can see it Swimming atop of the water but it didn’t ever seem like a problem that we had to Deal With Before And I Swear that it spoke a few words to the local Fishermen It Told them They could catch More Fish if they Moved To A Different Spot, if you Didn’t See The Duckcow in a certain Spot Near Midday Then the Possibility had Increased that it may Rain On That Day.
Some Afterthoughts from Daphne About where She was Were Immediately Not conclusive One Wonders what she would say if she’d have Known that her time was up. It’s Fucked-up because One person Just hears Only A Single Side Of the story and they Don’t Hear the Rest So they never Know What Went Down, You’ll Never Know, unfortunately. Though who is it that looks out for Daphne At This Point?…. Everything is Falling down and then you’ve got the point that it’s me that’s peering in or at least trying to And Seems As If You don’t Want me to Be there Or that You Don’t Want to Talk To anyone—seems like you’d like to get out of here.

“Everything Longer But Little—Else, I am Only Saved By Being myself and by having nothing hateful to Scream To People—I wish they’d All Calm down and be Themselves Then That Would make it Easy for me. I know that no matter how long it’s going to be I still have to sweat all of it out. I can’t Sleep at all—going to bed at dawn and I am already awake again at Noon—I am disturbed in that Way.”
(Nicolas Roeg’s “Walkabout”… Is One of The Most Beautiful Films About A Transformation And Progression Over The Course of Time—basked In Heavy Symbolism Of Nature Devouring Civilization And Then Civilization Devouring Nature—Of An Almost Hallucinatory Simplicity—Roeg’s Symbolism Boldly Finds Its Bloom in The Heyday Of Art Cinema-and it may not have Been Greeted With So Much Enthusiasm In The Decades That Followed. “Walkabout” begins in A City in Modern Day Australia—Where Roeg’s Fragmentation Does its Best at Showing Us What is Wrong.)
The Plain Looking Buildings Because everything is Depressed where I am From, and it doesn’t Make Sense To me—None Of it does Why Does Everything Have to Remain Ugly and Rundown and if It Does What is It that Makes People Want To stay… I cringed So Much When They Sat Across From me and They Had To Yell into my Ear Because Of How Loud it Was in The Room—but They Said that They Might Learn Something if I analyzed Them Back but I said that I couldn’t See How They Could. You Have to inhale Your Surroundings, and I hope that’s Something That You Do know—what’s Around You’ve Got To Take in As Much As Anything Else, How many Images do You Really See So Clearly How many Will Last Long Enough To make a Permanent Imprint On you… You Need to Save Them Like A Catalog For Future Reference, I don’t know why I felt So Sick From it but I Just Did—some things disgust me and I won’t joke about Them—my Sensibility itself Is In Danger and Is Very Threatened And It’s Very Hard For someone In My Position To See Past The Cutting Words And Figure That it is Only Joke that is Being Made. I remember that I never preferred that, I never cared for a joke that really isn’t a joke, I can’t Be embracing something that is walking such a thin line.

A Dozen Of The Images Come By And Resemble A Larger Print—And There’s A Loss Of Trust, you’re Going to need to Be able To trust me if you want to Get Things Done With me—but it Seems As if I am Something That You Can Remain without And it Doesn’t Seem Like I Know how to Deal With People. Real Days And Signs Dozens of Images Come By And Restore The Larger Print And They Place it in Perspective I see them Stay Low To The Ground At first, They’re Pressed Down Very Close To The Pavement And Then They Get Dug into The ground The Tips of Them Stay Pried into There And They Cut Small Patterns Along The Sidewalk As they’re Coming to me And it is Different from When I waited Before To See People. Other Parts Jotting out and I Hate Them I remember I can’t create A Humor From Chaos A Dozen or More Bad Things and They Resemble The Larger Picture If you Want to Get down to things, even if I wasn’t uncomfortable I still wouldn’t Like Them. They all seem one-sided and I don’t think that they’d know how to deal with Much rarer and dangerous Feelings They Seem So centered on ones which are Clearly and simply acceptably Identifiable They Will not See The Bigger Things They Will Shun Them Already And That Is a significant Distance That’s already Evident they can’t deal with Transformation Because they’re Bound To Stay Doing The Same Things Forever Which were Already Planned For Them and having a Life That’s So Ordinary But I think that it is Very nasty And The Unpleasantness Of It Will Always Alarm Me And all of This Too It Adds Up to The Bigger Things And I have to Wonder what’s Wrong With Myself As Long as I remain The Person that I am I Know I will never Get Along with them.. We Do not Mesh And They Do not Budge and either do I. The Millions of Images Irrupt And Before They Guide Me They Insult everyone. I don’t worship The Distrust disinterest Or Disassociation but now they have all become a Significant Part of my Life and I don’t wish that you’d Quit saying that I was wrong Because I agree with you that I Was As Wrong As anyone else Though I don’t Think that Any Of Us Are Really That Wrong These Just Seem Like Different Interpretations That Clash Against Each Other And They Don’t Allow Us Much Time Or Space At least They Don’t Allow As Much As We’d Need if were Attempting to Make Sense of Them.

“Yes It feels like a film to Me… All of It—one from a longtime ago—when everything still seemed safe and when it didn’t then danger Was Overstated Made to Expressionistic—from a longtime ago.”


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