Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Oh Girl Now Small Press

SOEH BOOK TWO (to Amber Reed) 9/29/ 06

There must have been a house somewhere bye then…. The first letter came to that Everything had changed Though. The name was different it must have begun with another letter, Wasn’t it N Or something… Maybe it was L…. All the dirt that was there and the Ground Made itself cold and I can’t Laugh though he thought I don’t think I can laugh right now. He yelled out supposedly and Then He Was there just holing his own penis he must have Been Screaming When the sperm flecked out There was some picture on The Table next to him Some Breasts Exposed It Was cold and tight he thought and he squeezed hard On his Penis. The next time he got on a bicycle and Then riding out there his cock Pumping Her Pussy he thought of that too and the whole room burning and burning til he ejaculated I guess Everyone has run Wild He Thought—we have to get these fucking people out f here And there Was some Pain and I heard the first letter and the Time of Day now too And the trees were rustling Now The Wind Brushing bye them it must have been the third time that he masturbated that day and the Images became less and less Clear and He Heard the room Screaming out again as he came it was gentle and pure and then he just heard the rhythm or the room again the same waltz the same room pulsing just as gentle til now And nothing else the room screaming out again was there was there much to Live For. Wasn’t That The Same Room again it did resemble that and a Little bit darker Wasn’t the Image of Change Some Man’s Penis and his hand on the end of it Too And he remembered Sucking on That Cock as well and He Could have heard the Cold and the House somewhere and The Day Broke again and the first letter and the change In the smell of the room and the same dark letter –I once heard Day Broke and I heard The time Of Day Come rushing in again It Must have just been a dream again and the Darkness of the Room The same one he Woke up In he could Only See her ass in panties and The Same One’s were blood soaked on the crotch and there Was just love again successfully. I had seen her face strayed Against the lawn again the whole day he just saw her face imposed on it And the Whole Rhythm of Everything and the Whole new time and the Whole Time “oh didn’t you want to change for something else And just the same Small Crack that one in the Floor Where the One Person was laying their Umbrella Open.” I Think I have an Umbrella there were just some Stray Images there still running out too That Letter N isn’t that the one which begins your name and the Image which came I mean Wouldn’t they have been there none the less He wondered? You will have simply Killed me in the Summer he said Wasn’t that The Most Strong Type of Rejection all of it was good bye me He said and that whole time he was there just put a Whole wrecked piece of time in his life and in his soul too and you know these things make me Sad He said And I could hear her Again when we’d had our moment On the end of her bed he Remembered that Too and the Last Perception of her and that Whole time of the World Now To Run Short the struggle of Death and the Perfection of Life too and I wanted to just help her and her Face as well and The Struggle and the world again he heard his face my Hope again There’s that stream and it was running short and the Day again Where the Day Broke over her Didn’t You see that it seems to always break over Her it probably always did For Amber Reed and the Last days of The Blood that woke her he said The Blood which woke her when it was pouring out of her vagina and the whole time he Then had come to investigate it Andy Reed was there Shinning a flashlight or Something!
“Why Do I know the Letter N?”
She wondered
“I do know it from somewhere.”
And it was the worst time of her life He knew that it was And the Time where he saw Amber Reed near the break—some boys in the yard With the hose tied around their Necks and I guess I always know that the sun goes down too and he had heard Some of the years and the Rooms and the Edge of That Room and the Whole home Breaking away and Then I remember waking up with A Flashlight Having been Shone inside My Eyes and the Lamp On too and then it was Finally The next year and the Time where he saw himself here He is The Worst time I Think she had remembered it was the worst, he lay on the bed and held her and Then he was there and She had her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer and closer and The Same yard where someone was breaking away and then I Don’t Know where I Am He said Am I in the yard and the shoes inside the end of the bed where I was in the room and the sun always went down there doesn’t the sun go down where amber reed is Or Am I Not Supposed To See that?
The semblance of Both of them on the bed against the color I guess the color is what will always bring me Down and some people here Thought it was bad and how am I supposed To Know he said and I am here to know some things About Amber Reed I haven’t figured out What they mean yet and I haven’t figured Much out the next time he Was on a Bicycle When he got off of it he certainly was erect Unloading moments Later from that.
With the sword and erection and the Only room that he made it heard after he had a spill To clean Now against the bridge of the bike against the end of the room. The end of the room Where the stone was He must have seen someone else Licking their own hand and he wasn’t even that kind of person anymore He said and I used to be someone else I think at least I Was and he remembered having her walking in a dress and the room where was sense of Time and the Room again and the attention That he paid again to the end of her Pussy to the edge of the room and then he thought god was there he knew he was for a moment and he kept saying all of you have a small debt to me what am I to do with that and the room Where he heard the room again Yes amber was saying something it was some letter it Was N I think oh I man I am not sure what it was. I guess the shock the police got was the phone call that Andy Reed had been turned in for raping he was raping and screwing everyone in the town everyone that he could get his hands on and everyone who had any thing left of them just another orifice and then just the people who would ruin his life and then Just the Visible Medals It must have been the most important day of his Life quite uncontrollably and then their must have been some other things growing up against Him as well and there must have been some people who were sent to destroy him as well and the Only Ones Screaming were the boys there on the street even when he instructed her to stand nude in the kitchen and then the ones who He also instructed were some young boys and he told them to suck on his penis he was not sure what to do with all of them and the was not sure whose penis they should suck on and I was here to make them hurry yet he was not this kind of person anymore and Then just the people who would have seen him were The People who attacked him he knew that there were people who attacked him and he was there Saying there were small bits of debris and there they were the men in the room and they were about to make the room stand on its Toes and the Only sound they heard of the room coming through was not the room coming through it was just the things which had killed all of us as people the same one which had killed us as friends and we’re here and bills lady was the lay of our land we all said and we all wondered Why Bill gave it to Us Oh Thought Soeh didn’t eli hubbard give it to us the same way all of these people that gave it to us and the time was there on a table and stringing a long now weren’t they thought soeh I come all this way where I have strangled myself and the homecoming Of Eli Hubbard oh wait wasn’t that Andy Reed and wasn’t that the moment you were all waiting for and wasn’t that this disaster you all could see coming and wasn’t there no one who could stand me and who are the people who held me down in the dark and you are the one who is so right hello He Told himself I am So Right and it won’t be too long and there they are the same people the ones who have held me down and waited on me now oh how they will fail me thought soeh. Didn’t he just move in to the same town as the devil wasn’t that the devil there and wasn’t he about to relieve himself too aren’t they all the same people who held you down yes these are those people and the world was just the thing that killed us You killed all of the people the one which had the friends and There they Were As the boats pulled in and their arms again around each other and the World Couldn’t stand me no one could stand me Fuck he thought as he lay in the basement there are no good people left and there are just people who want to kill us all and hold us down and he always said hello and they are here and the Ones who climb on the table Those Children they are All their with Umbrellas Small Umbrellas That they Stuck in Andy Reed’s Deadbody he knew that they stuck all of them in his face and they knew that he could stand them Yes He can stand them and I heard that they Failed me he said they failed me Soeh repeated that for a while on a loop and then he heard that angela derosa was the one who tried to kill him and he heard that she had done him in as well and yes he could stand her But he told himself That HE would give into her and that All that he was doing was how he was waiting for her and I told myself that I Could Just See You For a Moment and I knew that the people were held down and Andy Reed was held down too And he Always said they would come in here From all this way and They had killed all of you they had killed all of the people there was a long time that he was looking at it and sometimes just the lamp was in the foreground and other times it seemed like their was something else up front now they were all up front again and they say that they lost you did they really lose you they weren’t sure if they did I was sure that they didn’t lose you though that it was just something that everyone else thought was simple. All the children he said It had been so long that They’d known How the daylight looked since he’d been holding them down for a long time and The time they had was only a week a way and there and there was just some time that No One Could Compare too the time that I lost the boys will never know what sunlight is I spent the whole time unhappy I think that was the time when I killed myself and the time when I let the light leak out. They all held him bye the end of fear and he let the light leak out and he let it creep in as well wasn’t that the most powerful light he’d ever seen leak in and he’d seen some more light come creeping out too That was the strongest Blindness that he’d felt and Oh you Didn’t Lose the Light did you and the One person who is the strong one will never Know it seemed As if he’d lose that thought and that the day would come in and bring the shed Closer too the room where he killed her and the room where her face was strewn out on the sidewalk and the room of light and the darkness of the death of his face as a person and the wanting and the wildness and the days of darkness and the time of how long he took the daylight since it held him down now and the world in his head and the fog also That fog outside of his door in Wheeling and the Time when the face was strewn down and the daylight and since that time where the day light had made Amber Reed seem pretty and the light had come back as well and I knew the time in the shed would come closer and the fog outside and the Light against the room yes he said We’ll make it all come back here To when things simply spun as cold as they could and the bend and the crawl now too and the world was tucked away and til the shadows had fallen on the fog against the house in wheeling and the Room where The time in his life faced the person he was and the daylight came so hard outside and the sounds all the people were made as they were near and the room was Here We always know That’s It Exclaimed Soeh he changed my Life I remember that he changed my life and that he changed the person that I was and the time again the fog outside and days where there was no memory of it now again he could have heard a bell ring and the time again the face of all mankind in Wheeling not a pretty sight he could have thought to say the least but he was down on his luck.

I guess it must have been another day of bad luck he wondered as they held him down he was pushing on someone Else He Must have been there and my father was there too Oh Wait that’s right wasn’t he But he never wanted to defend me did he and he was seeing me getting raped bye Someone too but I Guess he just figured that someone else would take care of his problem for him –I still think that he felt bad again about some things and some of the people he felt bad for and he released if he wasn’t going to hear from her now then when was going to hear from Her HE thought Fuck wait I don’t know who amber reed is and I don’t know and I never did know and he Left a message for her and he expected her to be waiting there Isnt that the way it goes he wondered? Eli Hubbard was laying under the shed when he heard the gun go off he wondered why Was the Gun going off and what were those things exploding and he knew that he’d advised against most of the things There And I think he’s there with the fire underneath him and he thanked Her For all He’d done and there were some people there who were Standing around and he wasn’t sure if She heard him scream and he wasn’t Sure HE never knew when he loaded the pistol and he heard them scream and then He Heard His Parents up at the shed screaming too What was going on he must have wondered Eli Hubbard must have wondered what was going on and why there were so many people screaming who were these people who were screaming and what was happening and he never knew that things were Changing and the mask slowly removed and the Tyme he was there and he lay there waiting and must have wondered what people would have been thinking what were these people thinking about HE said and he never knew of them to come near him who are these people what is the mask that they Wear Isn’t largely the mask where he is forgotten and there was Some More time to be Made and the Gun going off again it was exploding near the school bus tire he heard the gun go off and now he just wasn’t sure how it was going to go off and he wasn’t sure either How Loud the explosion was going to be and how much of it he could have heard was going to go in one direction. Didn’t the gun itself just go off in another direction and what was he going to do with the gun and who were the people that he Only had them Reapply those images too Some Of the images of the torsos They were in black and white and some of the Images of the other figures they were the ones which had steal around them and he wasn’t sure what to do with them. How in the hell did you get these Things To run in here these things of Her Didn’t you know that they were mainly Gone I was sure that they were mainly gone he said and heard some of the people scream in the one Room and there were Some People there Who had been sentenced to a solitary existence in the other room which room was eli hubbard locked in I guess it didn’t matter or make sense once he had some of the cloth drapped around him did it Do You Think that it made sense he Asked I am not sure if all of it makes sense he Once Said But I know that all of it makes Sense and I am not sure what To do with all of it and I am not sure What the hell the room will Do But Somebody else knew and it made sense for someone else and Then There Were Figures all in the dark and the ones in the Blackness the ultimate Blackness the ones Which cut across the dark and the ones Were Gone He Knows that they are mainly all gone and then he wasn’t sure what he should do with them and the Solitary Figures and the room where the size changed again the size of the painting changed the Size of the entire room and the mountains of Love he saw them floating down and the people were up there screaming and what was he supposed to Do Some clouds Drifted down and obviously some other people were Going to Die All he saw Were Their Backs Stretched out and Amber Reed was there she must have been criticizing the little things again how come she could only see the little things These days she always saw them and never knew too much about anything Else She avoided Everything and always saw the inside of somethings and the Room around her Now the room around her the way out and there was just a way out and the time where she cried all of those things came down and they smeared her cheek and the Room now the solitary figures and the Other people Someone Once Asked “Aren’t those the people who are going to die.” Aren’t those The people who are going to die and the Room where the people were and the Time that the cloud drifted bye and the mountains aside From all of that amber reed was down there and she must have been breathing down there and she must had some things happen now that weren’t as funny Regardless of that Eli Hubbard was down there and he had Been Tied up bye ropes and he wasn’t sure how long these ropes were going to bind him or how he could break free of them he was just sure that they had tied him up for a long time and he wasn’t sure now how to cut himself loose. And there Were Some Times Where he couldn’t connect to anything else now not a single person There was no one that he could connect with and what was the time Which she was budding the rope now too The One around him and the Clouds Which were descending the clouds which were dropping down in the room the clouds on eli hubbard and the noose which was tightening around his neck either way He Could find no way to Free himself and the Dogs were barking outside and he was imprisoned What about the Huge Truck that was Pulling Up with the Dinosaur in the Back of it and what about the Entire Car Wreck near his place and he knew that there was going to be some time where he was going to be stuck in there and he knew how she’d betrayed him Didn’t he didn’t his own wife Leave him for someone else and didn’t He Know that he was going to die and the noose was tightening and the Time that he tied himself up was a long time ago and he was pulling on the noose and there was a car crash now near him somewhere outside and the People here they were imprisoned and the room was getting darker and he had all of these guesses and he made a lot of guesses and he had Some things happen now and I Now that he tied them up now and there were clouds around him He was all tied up and imprisoned and he was there Being held down someone Struck him across the face and he Could Feel the Blood running down him and the rope now around his ankles and the fact That he was about to be pulled up and Strung on some of the clouds he wasn’t sure what to do with this fact and he didn’t know anyone else.

Wasn’t someone else screaming ? Asked Jessica –To Amber Reed.. Yes they must have been screaming said Amber Reed I am sure that they were There wasn’t a Lot of time but there was time for people to scream and there was time for people to be upset and I am certain that in that amount of time I was capable of doing both and how is everything going and here are some things that have been in Bill Clearys Family a Long time:

A CAR (the one with the dinosaur in the back of it Well it’s A truck actually and the one where people who know my name they all say that I am wrong and I have some things to put One way and some things to put another way so I can’t assure you that I’ll be wrong and I can’t assure you that I Could Come through again The Cars Pulled up and Eli Hubbard was in The Room About to Ejaculate and what was he going to do with the Ribbon now and what was he going to do with the people who became like his prize and who were those people they became his prize and the time where the Dinosaurs Screamed something as well didn’t They Tell Him Just to back the Fuck Off! He did hear them scream that and Hear are the people who said he was awful and that he was the worst person But You Know that he didn’t care what they said and the night sky again too wasn’t it just about to fall wasn’t there The Room then of dinosaurs and clouds and of all the other things where some things are Just about to fuck me over he thought?)

“NONE of the children understand yet either The Reason that he’s through with them.”
“Bill Cleary asked them to walk on through the door to step over Lynda and To see where he was waiting for them and you know they’d all been waiting for a long time to see the kind of person that bill was and who were the people didn’t the eyes swear that they’d protect you and didn’t your eyes swear that you’d be protected bye them Why did the people all become So Fucked up He asked and he wondered and I have said it all before then what Can I say about that now?”

I guess I will sit and masturbate some more said Eli Hubbard but can’t you see that it’s getting me nowhere Then he heard that he was scheduled To appear In Court Someone Claiming a child of theirs was his and he was Saying How upset he was and he was saying that it wasn’t his child I am definitely certain that it’s not my Kid Said Eli Hubbard who could they be Fooling if they think it’s my child they must be crazy those crazy motherfuckers those fucking bastards who are they to say that it’s my kid when they don’t even know who I am since they don’t know who I am How Can They Claim That and he remembered the time that he lay underneath the bus When there were a lot of People Looking what happened to those people he Wondered What in the hell happened to those People?
And another time just another lie as we were laying next to the bed and I heard Eli Hubbard Saying fucking Bastards They Just about done me in Didn’t they didn’t they do me in so good and wasn’t I walking bye the creek he said Wasn’t I walking bye the creek and weren’t they the people who were trying to do me in and what if all those people had tried their best to do me in And I am the one Person who they thought that they could do in Why is there not someone else Who they think they can do in and who are the People who they’ll make into a star and who are the People that they’ll misuse and I Am the one Person you’ll hear screaming out and aren’t You the Person Who you heard they were shouting about—About Money Said Eli Hubbard didn’t he strike me and didn’t he say That I Did Wrong don’t you know That You’ve done wrong said Eli Hubbard I Know you Think that we’ve done wrong and That we Think that we Heard that You were Saying that we’ve done Wrong but we’ve done no wrong that’s the truth of the matter it’s just you Who Thinks that you have done wrong he said And I claim myself to be the friend of these people so why are they all saying that I made a mistake he said and I Made Such a mistake and I heard that you heard them whistle and the Room was wild in the morning that room where I woke up and Eli Hubbard was beating me in the head What the hell was that thing that he was beating me in the head with Wasn’t that some kind of Pipe I knew that it was somekind of pipe that he was beating me with but I wanst sure And Then there were some Other Men Standing over me too Who were all those men Who gathered around me and who were All Those men who made me know what the dark was as they ripped open part of my Body now they all know who that is Who is that person who Ripped open part of my Body I am not sure that I know who it is Needless to say do I have to remind you that it was Eli Hubbard Who ripped open part of my Body wasn’t it him also who stuck some kind of Foreign Object in Wasn’t I Dreaming about a car then I was Dreaming about a car wasn’t I Think I was dreaming a bout a car there’s a book with a Sealed cover and it says Eli Hubbard on the Cover and it says that he’s going to be Dead and gone once I am through with him because right now I am through with him and I am going to do him in he thinks that he’s going to do me in and I always feel like I am going to do him in and I am sure that he will do me in and I am the one dreaming about the car and he is there in the front seat and who does he think that he is and he must think he’s above me as the person in the car Fuck! Someone Screamed it was Eli Hubbard in the passenger Seat and he was up there yelling and storming out of the place and he Only said You must have known who these people Were if they are all storming out of here Then Don’t you Know who they are Aren’t you the reason that they are upset he must have asked wasn’t it you who upset them?


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