Friday, June 23, 2006

New Poetry

Some new poems which i wrote for a friend of mine ... To Be Included in a yet untitled collection

Jessica Again
There were streets and no sounds though
Light On the other end
Shooting off in beams –in the way that it sees the whole city you’re supposed to watch the night as it passes bye
Is not supposed to need anyone I remember that was one point of it …
Some other kind of light shot through you wanted to kill yourself he said and the night they made you go you weren’t Able to live after that…
And We’re All sweet Here And we’re all friends
Can you keep it up so long
And how can you have friends
When you feel like life is so meaningless
And here is the day You Live
Afterwards You won’t Live again
And you won’t Live the way you did here
And you think you’ll die bye me and live for me
I never wanted you to live for me ….

I sat near a door and Looked at the plants
I thought of dots faded in some cage
And there was some transparency as well
And the Times and the Days too
You knew they went like that
There was nothing valuable That will be
And the day To Let you
Stay up here
And her Mouth was swollen from chewing on the insides of this
And the world was written with the magic finger
And you served the lines on your own face
And no bad feelings Linger
And he said he hated her and was disgusted bye
And he Tossed her out and she was excited though to
Be on her own
And I guess I have to go over here
To Live without you
And I guess I have to Come Down there
And Take a few shots from some rifle
And you will stand As you were there
The Answers to all my prayers
And no one Walked in a Friend on the last bit of rope
She placed some things
With fear now down bye her feet
And no one lies to regret everything and you want
Feel excited
Once Some Man came over to the table
Recommended The Way to Do something
And you were here For us
He said …
“Tell everyone make sure they come back.”
“Can you stand this, How?”
And If they want you in the world they welcome you in
And I will talk to you about sex
And I will talk to you about revenge
He said as well
And then he welcomed himself
Into her
And then They Were all wrapped around the whole world
As one thing
I mean that was when they were in wheeling.

Pretty well at being the fork in the road and she was pretty well at being the little bear and everything was Understood
Did you do the wrong thing
Or the right thing
And how was the world disappointed with you
Any way that you weren’t disappointed with it as well
And the Russians
Said Jessica
What will they do about the astronauts
And what will you do
You were a Little down weren’t you
Won’t you be a little down
When you tell me I am the same as I existed here
And you were never going back
And he came up on my back and
Came on
He said he saw holes in her face and her hair pulled out as she was raped everynight and I am never going back
Hear me
You hear me say
And I am never going back again
And no One waits to Criticize me
Or take me
Home from here
And you only ever wait to see yourself as one image
Then He wondered how Come no one
Anything Ever Came out of Wheeling
That was one of his thoughts when he was running down bye the
How Come no one from here
Seems Like someone
Who isn’t From Wheeling
Hope they’re all like you he said..
And he said I hope they are all like you I am just like
Those kids from Wheeling
The ones who got raped and The ones who don’t have
But then why did you give up so easily
She just lost you
And she just lost hope
You say wheeling
Is just a place made of hope
But I say it is a
Place made of regret
And I feel some charred burning things
And I see the same scene of failure
My failure
To be a full person in wheeling
The same echoes from
Far away
And I used to call them up and
Why No one Good came from there
I used to ask
What I would do if someone came around me
And stuck a board up my ass and
Fucked me
Bye using there hands
With something attached to them
I hate you
I said to the people
Who held me down there
And I knew what was going to happen in the rest of my life
And it’s just the same world in wheeling where we
Have a war of ourselves and we have a sea of failures
He says
And The sea of failures That places imagines All of the obvious bits of pain and it imagines the gasps of Ghosts
And the Men Who Beat off to videos of aerobic Instructors
Didn’t you hear eli hubbard found a new piece of cash
When he was in prison
And it Imprisoned him
Took well to the knife Which cut
His side
The one That Split him
Didn’t You hear?
And the light shined on me
And you knew about the pain I faced in my life
It started in the basement
In the cellar
And the Chanting that came
Hole in the Floor
Now just get up and walk away
Don’t make me say stupid things
Nothing you say
Will stop me from being the
Person who I am
I Am afraid of People
Who find something to live
For in Wheeling
Other than the fact
That it’s where eli hubbard has died.

A Little Bit Of Jesus Makes me Right, Alright!
We see them pull up in Cars near the road In West Virginia and Then We put our hands near a bow and no one respects us either and Then .. there’s no one who respects them much and a Little Vote They Got made them say he was alright and it was just a mystery. And the world No One Would let You slaughter Him… You could send them all down to the cellar and you could send them all down to where the dogs prayed too … Where the one dog was walked bye on a leash in front of the bus stop that morning in wheeling When I was sitting there with Amber Reed and she was trying to catch a bus somewhere.

Well The sun had to set that Way Since Amber Reed Was leaving
And you had to be the heroine of all of That
I Could recall when I later told her
And you have a special Place for me
Making sure You never stood on the lights of the City
Will you tell all of your children
And will you tell them all about me
How you left me behind
I want you to tell them about that
You know tell them how much it hurt me

More cars pulled into a lot in Wheeling more of the same ones which wrote about retribution they all will tell you to hang Your head and cry and there’s things which are undependable and you have made friends with those things and you have made friends with the people the boys who used to be girls but now they won’t be girls no more.

What would have put it all in Motion
He said
What would have been the small bit of Jesus which you manufactured the
Epic Sunset
The way Amber Reed didn’t like things unless she addressed for them
To be done in a certain way and
If you did anything outside of that way
She’d ridicule you
And put you down and make you feel as if you’d annoy her
Or invaded her space as if you’d taken some part of
Her privacy which meant so much to her
Since she was such a private person and
You made her life public how could you have done such a thing
She would make you wonder and she would make you feel
Like a villain as well
She’d put you out to be the villain sure enough you’d believe
That you were the villain you’d believe that you were the person
Who was at fault
Never would you think that it could be amber reed
Who was at fault
And who
Insulted most people and made everyone
Feel Like they Were bad people
They were bad people
Said amber reed and you were a bad friend
To me
She said you let me down
And made me feel
Like you didn’t me
Treated me so bad
Can’t you bring some kind of
Integrity to the Situation
God, you’re worse than my father
Telling me things that I should do
And they maybe you should
Read these facts
Examine them then run away from Wheeling.
But we were only in a basement with switches against our legs and
You rode the Penny The Way Grammy Rode it
So hard and so Fast
And the Swollen Rod the way the rod
Gets swollen
And please don’t roll out of wheeling tomorrow
Thinking you’re one big man
Who changed everything for Everyone
So Long Said Amber Reed I’ll
See you when you get out of here she was saying as
She was standing against the car Her Father
Was about to take her away
Good luck.

Daphne Even Then
There was once a war he could tell
There were boats because at least they had something to battle
And there were also ships and there were also
Visions of warfare too
The same People who smelled Like Dwarfs
Were the ones who caused war In Wheeling
Wheeling you’re the cause of war and I am having a delay
He says
And then Somemore
If you need some more to move the space
You’ve already done so much for us
And the world will never be there
And I will run from here and then he
Only ever Came as the eclipse
A Couple of strings of light
Cutting across and making it all seem so unreal and
So unimportant and nothing is the sequel to these things
And these memories of hope in Wheeling
And The Countless memories of what was balanced
Genitals Smelled a Bit
Cunt was wet
And his ass stunk too
Down in Wheeling
He’ll only ever kill you down in there
They’ll go to one thing and say you’re that
And we Quit
But they never really tell you what you are
And they never really tell you how you
Make your life better believe me in Wheeling
There would be a lot of ways to do so
The way you could for one thing is get
The hell out of there
And get away from being beaten down all the time … Some People Like Andy Reed never saw Those Options for themselves or if they did then they never examined Them Please tell us andy reed how we should fuck your Head open if you can instruct us on how to do so then we’ll know there’s no one alive who lives the same as you and who instructs you too
Who you instruct so well in doing certain things
And How did you get us to do these things Just bye Being yourself
You could fuck it all up that way
And you could never understand when it happens like that
As they shred things in Wheeling
And there was a habit at looking at Pictures of Wheeling
While thinking about Eli Hubbard
Beating Off IN Prison
He’d committed murder it
Was only fitting that he’d do himself in next
He was the one who would do himself in And no one Except him
Was the one Person Who
Things In Life
And bill’s here and he’s still acting fucked up
As he does things
As fucked up as things
Were these were the most fucked up
Things of all
All of you put blame on me for something
Which I didn’t even do
And you can only Blame Me For One Thing
And you can only blame Eli Hubbard as well
He’s the different kind of victim and he’s the one to blame
Though I am sure of that…

You are all victims in This Wheeling
This scope of Your Only hate
And dislike
He only hates her as the one person in
His Life The victims of everything bad in wheeling
All the time without hope coming down on me
Just one step
Away From that
But no step away From anything else

I didn’t Live Just Die
To Make Sure Eli Hubbard Dies as An Old Man
To Make Sure he’s always In Hell
And to find out
If he’s doing any thing better than that

Not Much felt different
They can all cause their pain to
Be part of us
One Time nearly on a couch
They asked him to go away
And some people take care of
Him now there was science
Must know
You must know

Bill Cleary Seemed to feel different
Where time has fallen off
And the sun became the most voluminous circle
Where should we meet
Meeting no one
Other than meeting me in secret
Just days
He says where he surmised the volume
What do you want past the secret
The lord Never gave to him
He only gave way where he embarked upon something
Foreign Amber Reed was all spare parts now
As she Lay Broken and she could never beat the clock
I remember that I just felt violent
And there was not a point in seeing
How long she even reclaimed to
And There’s no where She has to go
She just wants to BE fancy and now
We know no one at all knows us

They all just seemed as if they were false men upset about something they could never change anyhow
And I couldn’t see what the point was
And the words they all came out wrong
And the world broke up
The fight between Eli Hubbard
The one for his life
When he was being torn apart by the dogs
And now he’ll never come out of
He Once Thought he would have come out
What can He Rise above and how can he lived
His Life down with the worst part of Life
And under his feet
He just can’t be tired and
The grass
He only stood now
Therein The Spiral The Free Ring in Wheeling
And kick around Heaven and
He wanted to think he’d never be wrong again
And that he would only
See himself smile through the color of pain and
Then with no reason he would have Cause for
The alarm he took next to himself in life
And then he’ll break them into
And the time he will break
Them For The World
He will break them
All can’t you see how they
Will all kill me
He Never knew that
He’d be killed bye
And never know that
Seemed to wear a Gown
And not too much was there
To make a promise
That he’ll never Even Come
From here again
Bye any Circumstance
He thought he was safe
He thought he was in the clear
And the time he was safe he
Was next to the net
He was going to drop in
Bye the edge of all of
The time he had regrets in
In some other kind of Zone
Where time is spewing out of me
Managing to Make me feel like a fool
And then just make me
Play plain dumb and
The world
Will wreck me
Of Eli Hubbard’s disease
And because I got hit on the head too hard
And never was I without the feeling
That they would Leave me
I knew I was done for The first second I laid
And companion
Eli Hubbard Was the Safe Bet to
Cause pain
I heard he never causes it now
And you can only surmise them
He said
And I am only the one
Person who
Stood near the steps
Who heard all of the sound
Rush out of there
Listen to me
Listen To me now
Shouted Eli Hubbard
He was surprised to hear silence
To Find out that it was not a guarantee
That anyone Would Shout Back
That no one replys

The Meal for a Day (to Jessica Silver)
Fey Was down among the rocks now the coarseness the bleak home never ends As Andy Reed Screams for a Reward and the blacker edges of home and the people who never say a word and come on Now Won’t they be happy for you won’t they be satisfied in life as well Weren’t you one of the people who was never happy and you can see who you are and you’ll be there too He once said and you said they’re the only ones… “I Think You should do whatever you think you should do depending on your own happiness.” I Remember Her saying to me .. That was what Jessica Said, I Haven’t done this in a long time now I remembered me saying and Then Just some kind of Obsession Won’t One way be correct for me Can’t something come out of another and no one can marry anyone else And can anyone See who you are as people He Wondered That, I wondered too.

Scraping Sweat Off From me Barely Just catching a Bus
I remember
I’ll be there
I Will be there bye 5:30
Aren’t you late
I remember her saying
And I said I was
Though just barely
Then What Do you want to Do
I can remember myself saying
What do you Want to Do
He said
I want to Come to here Oh Remember
Then we’re Crossing a Few Streets
I Must have bumped into someone
And they Said that they didn’t see me after I said
First that I didn’t see them
And I knew for Sure no one
Would like down with these ideas
And I lose my mind over you
And I lost my mind from the first time
Then I See a Bug on your Back
And I knocked off a spider
I saw Jessica Crossing from the Bridge
I want to Live in that house I remember
Her exclaiming what a bad rundown place
And I can’t ever think of another place
See how bad and run down all of that is
And I saw something that I didn’t realize before
And there’s something you’ll understand
And is it possible to make a living this way and
When I saw you first I knew you’d come together
I saw you there and
I never want to say again that I Saw you in the darkness
I saw you in The Color of Course
The Color of Life
A different Life
Even if you’ll Lose your mind
For me
You’ll lose your mind this way as well
And another letter from her

Do Not Start out that way
Maybe we can all fall in a love like this
Walking under a bridge now
We saw the Sign Where The Moon’s got a hole cut in it
And we’re going to find some people
Who ignore us who don’t like us at all
And the spelling has improved though since
They didn’t Like us before
They Still want us bye their Side
And You Know she’ll run and kiss your lips
And Just something about it is Different
And Then just something about it
And You Can See your arms around her
And you can see the time he kept around her
And I Look in her Eyes
I sat next to her
I saw Her Back
As straight as a board
And the time where you think you’re in love
And The Way They are on the time to get
There They Always Say don’t start out that way
And you say you’d die now if you ever go away and
I feel that touch and I feel the pain of her going away
And I feel the real pain at the reality
And the core of it all and I will know that
You will take me for my Life
And you will take me for Granted Too many times
Where we set at certain places
And where you let the darkout of day light
And you let the one who cooperated be the one who
Was just a friend
But I want to know if you’ll hurt her
Or if you’ll take the brightness out of it
And you’ll take the brightness out of dark
And then you’ll take them for a
Time Where they’re only falling over one another
And you see that they’re upset about something other than you
And then there’s a letter Where you disclosed it all
He said he wanted her now
Then he may want her later on
And you may need him again later on
And then sometime some other day
You’ll make them bleed
For her
And you’ll need a whole ocean
He says
One that looks Good too
And I’ll be certain of it
And there’s a group of Detractors and
The Room up above
And the one person who was
Down here
Didn’t feel so alone
And didn’t feel so In Love
What will you do when you’re near me
And what will I do when you leave me
And I will leave you too
And sometimes
You’ll find something else
Once sitting next to her
Straight back and all
Where she turned over to me
And said how much she loved this
And then she’s Walking in the Rain and
The cloud above
And You’re wishing for her now
And then the room where they pot the plants
And the room where nothing will do and
The room where nothing
Has a granted fact
Again once they have that skill and once you have
That skill to Expect the room
And the stars kissing her too
And the only time she’s laughing now
Moving back Under the bridge Crossing another Place
Putting a face on them
And figuring that they’re something else
The one thing about you that moves them
Is not what you thought it was
And what a Hassle to Feel Your heart broke forever
Bet you’d leave Her For Something different and I wondered
What it could be what if you want nobody else
And what if they all hold me the way they did before
And they all
Dined Like Pigs once
What about Virgins
When you hold her down you only whispered
Tenderly when you were
About how you were born to be together
Moving deeper down now into the earth
God about to be Blessed
And you say it all for work
Your head in a basket
Jesus Still Crying

Fictitious Against Wheeling The Ones Who Came Under The Sun
Everything that does not go on here is what goes on there
And when they are all done fighting when you’ve
Packed it all in to the place
Of home and infamy
Which you call Wheeling you did so without a care or worry
And you fell In Love and Gave your heart away
Who Will You give your heart away too
They’re all those men against us Wailing
And all of those men against us
Screaming out
And the Lucky are the few with a sworn
Desire and I ran it straight into your arms
And I could see the faces of men who
Were so fancy Free
And when they held bill
And I can never see the originality of her
Turn around and say they love us
Not the boys with their hearts buttered up
Just the ones who say goodbye
And the ones
Who sang as if it were a Love Song
The ones
Who showed us how much
They loved us
And There Must have been A Festival of Colors in Wheeling
And you turned your Love onto Me
And you turned your Love onto me as a Person
And I could only have them Break Free From
Their Own Longings the ones They Will
Oh Wheeling and the golden River and Wheeling
And the promiseland and the Way that you all suffer
Does it make you Think that you’ve got something
Else that you want to give me
And the new days when they find you under A stone
All the time you’ve pleaded and what have you lost me to
The Way where you pleaded the undercurrent that you
Stripped me with and the world accusing me I remember it
All I still would have had to prevail and do it for myself
And in the March Of Wheeling
The Time of the sky
Cutting me where everyone who Lives also must
Day the sunset against Our Cells
And The time of day we feel
That cloth that covering and the
Prison where some one is waiting
For me
And you only can feel the drift of the time
And the little bit of your life
A Little Bit of a Ghost Don’t you think
When they count you down In Wheeling
I guess they’ll all take a real gamble
They Say they can’t Lend their Confidence Then
What will they lend then if they don’t Lend that
I figured they can at least lend me that
If not
I would have had to count my loses up
In the water which runs under the bride
They’ll clear me as a Member
Free the heat
And sought after days
Only Wheeling Knew The Winter



Blogger Mike Begnal said...

Whatever happened to Baby JT Leroy? W Va my hole.

1:54 AM  

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